Laugh Until You Cry with these Hilarious Crying Puns: Over 200 Tear-Jerking Wordplays

Punsteria Team
crying puns

Feeling down? Don’t worry, we’ve got the perfect pick-me-up for you! Get ready to laugh until you cry with our collection of hilarious crying puns. From tear-jerking wordplays to cheeky one-liners, we’ve curated over 200 puns that are guaranteed to have you doubled over in laughter. Whether you’re a tearfully punny person or just in the mood for a good chuckle, these jokes will have you wiping away tears of joy. So grab a tissue and get ready to have your funny bone tickled with our side-splitting collection of crying puns. Get ready to unleash the tears… of laughter, that is!

Let the Tears Flow: A Collection of Crying Puns (Editors Pick)

1. Why did the scarecrow start crying? Because it heard corny jokes!
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough. It’s really tear-ible!
3. The kleptomaniac chef always cries when he’s cooking. He just can’t resist taking a leek!
4. Why did the onion start crying? Because it kept getting peeled off by life’s challenges!
5. The comedian cried during his performance because he felt his jokes were tear-rific!
6. Why did the math book cry? Because it had too many problems!
7. The comedian’s jokes were so bad, they made the audience cry… of laughter!
8. I heard the cemetery is a popular place for crying over spilt tears.
9. The fashion designer always cries when sewing. It’s just sew emotional!
10. Why did the tomato turn red and cry? Because it saw the salad dressing!
11. If you cry while slicing onions, you should probably get some cut-ting words therapy.
12. The sad pencil always cries because it feels it’s not sharp enough.
13. I asked my friend why he was crying with a loaf of bread in his hand, and he said, “I kneaded a way to express my emotions!
14. I got a job at the treadmill factory, but they turned me down because I couldn’t run. I cried real tears of no-fit-ness!
15. Why did the river cry? Because all its banks were taken!
16. The sad calculator started crying because it couldn’t count on anyone.
17. The emotional tree often cries sap-tears during stormy weather.
18. The struggling musician always cries after his performances. He just can’t seem to hit the right note!
19. Why did the tea kettle cry? Because it was letting off steam!
20. The grape started crying when it saw its friends getting crushed to make wine. It got quite wino!

Tear-inducing Tidbits (One-liner Puns)

1. Why was the math book crying? It had too many problems.
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
3. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
4. I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple days off.
5. I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
7. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones are Argon.
8. Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
9. My friend said he had a dream he was eating the largest marshmallow in the world. I told him not to worry, it was just a pipe dream.
10. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
11. To the guy who invented zero… thanks for nothing.
12. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
13. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
14. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
15. I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
16. I asked the gym instructor if he could teach me to do the splits. He replied, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make it on Thursdays.”
17. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
18. A dentist and a manicurist fought. They couldn’t settle their differences, so they decided to nail each other.
19. Breaking news! Energizer Bunny arrested – charged with battery.
20. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.

Whale of Laughter (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. Why did the tear go to school? Because it wanted to be an educated drop.
2. Why did the onion cry during the movie? Because it found the plot too saucy.
3. Why did the raindrop become friends with the lightning bolt? Because they both shared a shocking sense of humor.
4. Why did the tissue go to therapy? Because it felt like it was all bent out of shape.
5. Why did the river cry? Because it missed its waterfall.
6. Why did the sea creature cry? Because it didn’t have enough shell-fish esteem.
7. Why did the sponge cry? Because it worked so hard it was all washed up.
8. Why did the lake become emotional? Because it had too many deep-sea issues.
9. Why did the ice cube start weeping? Because it felt like it was going to melt under pressure.
10. Why did the ballpoint pen cry? Because it couldn’t find its ink-linc.
11. Why did the raindrop apologize? Because it made a little mist-ake.
12. Why did the comedian cry while performing? Because he was just a-weeping laughs.
13. Why did the young tree shed a tear? Because it was feeling a bit sappy.
14. Why did the dog cry at the bakery? Because its favorite treat was a “ruff day” cake.
15. Why did the haystack become emotional? Because it was always feeling hay-ppy.
16. Why did the river cry? Because it was feeling stream-ply overwhelmed.
17. Why did the avocado shed a tear? Because it felt guacward.
18. Why did the comedian cry while eating? Because the food was a-peeling to her.
19. Why did the tissue refuse to play poker? Because it couldn’t handle all the tears.
20. Why did the ocean cry? Because it had so many deep emotions.

A Teardrop in Humor (Double Entendre Puns)

1. I asked my teardrop if it’s free tonight because I need someone sweet to cry with.
2. Crying is the ultimate tear-apy session.
3. When I’m crying, it’s like a waterfall of emotion rushing down my face.
4. Some people say that crying is a sign of weakness, but I think it takes a lot of tear-determination.
5. I heard crying can really mascara-ade your true feelings.
6. When I cry, my mascara runs faster than Usain Bolt.
7. Crying over spilled milk is just udderly unnecessary.
8. I’m crying so much, I really need to invest in a tear-imagotchi.
9. They say laughter is contagious, but have you ever tried catching someone’s tears?
10. My tears are like little Olympic athletes competing in the crying games.
11. My tears could win a gold medal in the sobstacle course.
12. Crying has become my favorite way to flood the sadness away.
13. When sadness hits, I cry like I’m auditioning for a weep-a-lympics.
14. Crying is like an emotional thunderstorm that washes away the pain.
15. My tears are like tiny liquid messengers, carrying my emotions to the world.
16. Crying might leave me all wet, but it’s just a liquid therapy session.
17. Raindrops may be falling on my head, but it’s just my teardrops putting on a show.
18. Crying is like a secret language between my heart and my tear ducts.
19. Tears are nature’s way of watering the lonely garden of sorrow.
20. I like to think that while crying, I’m just practicing for the ultimate crying marathon.

Tears of Laughter: Puns in Crying Idioms

1. The onion was feeling really emotional, it was shedding tears left and right.
2. When the sad clown entered the room, it was a real tear-jerker.
3. The book on sadness had everyone in tears, it was a real page turner.
4. Crying over spilled milk is a common dairy setback.
5. The comedian’s jokes were so bad, they made everyone weep with laughter.
6. The teardrop couldn’t resist the urge to dive into the ocean, it was a salty temptation.
7. The waterfall was always the center of attention, it was crying out for recognition.
8. The grape was feeling blue, it was really raisin a fuss.
9. The broken pencil was feeling absolutely useless, it felt like it couldn’t even draw tears.
10. The piglet was crying oinkcognito, trying to hide its emotions from the rest of the farm.
11. As the rain poured down, the flowers held a crying competition to see who could bloom the most.
12. The emotional caterpillar was shedding cocoon tears, hoping for a butterfly to comfort it.
13. The leaking faucet was causing a water works show in the kitchen, it was truly tap-tivating.
14. The heartbroken clock was tick-tocked off, it couldn’t stop crying second after second.
15. The sad turkey joined a support group for fowl who break down, it was a real gobble therapy session.
16. The haunted house had a ghost that would weep uncontrollably, it was quite the eerie tearror.
17. The depressed lemon tried adding more zest to its life but ended up being even more sour, it was really lemonstrating.
18. The violinist had everyone in the room crying violins, it was a real strung moment.
19. The emo mountain was always crying out for attention, it just couldn’t peak its emotions.
20. The onion was having a hard time coping, it was a real tearable situation.

Tear-riffically Punny (Crying Pun Juxtaposition)

1. I asked my friend if he wanted to hear a crying joke but he just burst into tears.
2. The onions were so sad that they started peeling themselves apart.
3. They say laughter is the best medicine, but can it cure cry-abetes too?
4. I tried to go to a comedian’s show to cheer up but ended up waterlogging my face with tears.
5. The bunny rabbit was feeling down, so I gave him a hopportunity to cheer up.
6. I asked the clown to tell me a joke to cheer me up, but all he could do was “sob-er up” himself.
7. I tried to wipe away my tears with a cloud, but it just rained on my face instead.
8. My friend told me to keep my head high and my tears dry, but now I have a floating tear duct.
9. I thought watching a horse race would make me happy, but it just made me more teary-eyed.
10. The sad strawberry couldn’t stop crying because she felt so berry blue.
11. I asked the grapevine for some advice on how to stop crying, but it just cried grape responsibility.
12. The orchestra tried to compose a happy song, but their instruments ended up sounding quite sharp.
13. I thought attending a laughter yoga class would cure my crying problem, but I ended up stretching my tear ducts.
14. I tried drawing happy faces on my cheeks to hide my tears, but they just smeared into frown lines.
15. The comedian’s attempt to cheer up the sad tomato ended up being a real fruit-ful endeavor.
16. I tried to cheer myself up by watching a stand-up comedian, but I ended up standing on a banana peel and slipping into tears.
17. I tried to reason with my tears, but they were just a bunch of emotional irrationalities.
18. I asked the rain to stop crying, but it just kept pouring its heart out.
19. The sun tried to shine away my tears, but it ended up burning my eyes instead.
20. I tried to numb my cry-nerves with ice cream, but now I’m just a sob-gobbler.

Sob Story (Crying Puns)

1. Teara Misu (Tiara Misu)
2. Sobert Sutherland (Robert Sutherland)
3. Wailin’ Smith (Will Smith)
4. Sniffany Halls (Tiffany Falls)
5. Blubberella Swan (Isabella Swan)
6. Weepy Goldberg (Whoopi Goldberg)
7. Tearleen Johnson (Carleen Johnson)
8. Barry Cryson (Gary Tyson)
9. Bawl Murray (Bill Murray)
10. Sobin Williams (Robin Williams)
11. Crying Curry (Stephen Curry)
12. Sobina Aguilera (Christina Aguilera)
13. Bawlin’ Jenner (Caitlyn Jenner)
14. Teara Swift (Tara Swift)
15. Mournando Torres (Fernando Torres)
16. Sobby Brown (Bobby Brown)
17. Weepika Padukone (Deepika Padukone)
18. Cryer Wood (Tyler Wood)
19. Wailing Jolie (Angelina Jolie)
20. Tearl Streep (Meryl Streep)

Prying with Pun-ter (Spoonerisms)

1. Drying try
2. Hying scry
3. Booing coo
4. Snobbish sob
5. Whining grin
6. Lamenting renting
7. Whaling railing
8. Tissue issue
9. Tearful ear
10. Bawling falling
11. Sorrowful burrow
12. Yelping helping
13. Weepy creepy
14. Saddened madden
15. Howling prowling
16. Whimpering simpering
17. Sobbing robbing
18. Mourning warning
19. Blubbering rubbering
20. Wailing sailing

Tearfully Hilarious Remarks (Tom Swifties)

1. I lost my teddy bear,” said Tom tearfully.
2. “I hated that movie,” Tom cried painfully.
3. “Why did you hit me?” Tom asked, sobbingly.
4. I can’t find my soccer ball,” Tom said ballistically.
5. I can’t believe I broke my phone,” Tom said shattered.
6. I missed the last train,” Tom sighed regressively.
7. I failed my math test,” Tom moaned exponentially.
8. I burnt the dinner,” Tom said heatedly.
9. I can’t open this jar,” Tom said weakly.
10. “I forgot to buy milk,” Tom cried outpouringly.
11. “Rain ruins everything,” Tom said precipitously.
12. I lost the game,” Tom said in agony.
13. I lost my balloon,” Tom said deflatedly.
14. “I can’t find my keys,” Tom rattled on.
15. I ruined my favorite shirt,” Tom said wrinkled.
16. I stubbed my toe,” Tom exclaimed painfully.
17. My favorite band broke up,” Tom spoke despairingly.
18. I messed up the painting,” Tom said artistically.
19. “I stepped in dog poop,” Tom said disgustedly.
20. The ice cream fell off the cone,” Tom said meltingly.

Tearrific Oxymoronic Crying Puns

1. Sob story
2. Tearful laughter
3. Weeping willow (a pun on the tree and crying)
4. Laughing through tears
5. Crying with joy
6. Sad smiles
7. Smiling crybaby
8. Cheery crying
9. Happy bawling
10. Wailing with glee
11. Tearful chuckles
12. Laughing eyes, crying heart
13. Giggling tears
14. Mournful giggles
15. Joyful sobbing
16. Light-hearted weeping
17. Cheerful sobfest
18. Happy sobbing
19. Jolly tears
20. Melancholy laughter

Recursive Tears (Crying Punception)

1. I had a dream last night that I was a faucet. When I woke up, I was in tears.
2. Did you hear about the onion that went to therapy? All it could do was peel back the layers.
3. I tried to tell a joke about tears, but it just got too emotional.
4. I told my friend that my eyes were streaming after watching a sad movie. They said, “That’s eye-ronic!”
5. I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about tears, but they said, “Nah, I’m tear-rific already!”
6. My friend told me they cried so much, they filled a whole swimming pool. I said, “That’s just a pool of saltwater!”
7. I tried to cheer up my friend by telling them a joke, but it only made them cry. I guess it was a real tear-jerker.
8. My friend said they were feeling a little teary-eyed, so I handed them an onion and said, “Maybe this will make you cry tears of joy!”
9. I told my therapist that I cry every time I watch a movie. They said it sounds like I’m experiencing reel emotions.
10. My friend said they cried so much, they felt like a broken dam. I said, “I guess you’re just overflowing with emotions!”
11. I asked my friend why they were crying, and they said they just couldn’t stop getting emotional. I replied, “Well, don’t get too carried away!”
12. I heard a joke about tears, but it was so bad it made me cry even more.
13. My friend said they were crying so much, they could fill an entire ocean. I said, “You must be the salty Neptune!”
14. I asked my friend if they were okay after a good cry, and they said, “I’m all teared out!”
15. I tried to comfort my friend by telling them to let it all out, but now we’re both sitting in a puddle of tears.
16. I asked my friend why they were crying, and they said they just couldn’t hold back the waterworks. I replied, “You’re a real cry-er than life!”
17. I asked my friend if they needed a tissue after they had a good cry. They said, “No, I’m all dried up!”
18. My friend said they couldn’t stop crying, and I told them to take a deep breath. They responded, “But it feels like I’m drowning in tears!”
19. I asked my friend if they were crying over spilt milk, and they said, “No, it’s tear-wasted emotions!”
20. My friend told me they were feeling a little teary-eyed because they misspelled the word “cry.” I said, “Well, at least you’re good at eye-rolling!

Tear-ing Up the Clichés (Crying Puns Galore!)

1. I’m not crying, I’m just having a waterfall moment.
2. When life gives you onions, make onion rings and cry while you eat them.
3. Crying is like winning the lottery, except the prize is a river of tears.
4. Don’t cry over spilled milk, especially if it’s lactose-free.
5. I’m not crying, I’m just creating my own personal rainstorm.
6. When life throws you tears, build a bridge and get over it.
7. Life is like a box of tissues. You never know when you’ll need one.
8. Instead of shedding tears, let’s make it rain confetti.
9. It’s raining tears and I forgot my umbrella of happiness.
10. Crying is like a silent lead singer in a sad symphony.
11. I’m so emotional, I could make Niagara Falls cry in envy.
12. As the saying goes, “Tears of a clown are just waterproof makeup.”
13. Santa doesn’t cry because he has “Ho, Ho” instead of teardrops.
14. I’m crying happy tears that taste like victory.
15. When emotions overflow, it’s like a faucet stuck on the crying setting.
16. Instead of crying, let’s have a good laugh and invent a new dance move called the “Sob Shuffle.”
17. You can’t have a rainbow without a few teardrops of sadness.
18. Crying is like an emotional rollercoaster, but the tickets are free.
19. A teardrop in the ocean is just another reason for fish to swim in sorrow.
20. When life gives you lemons, squeeze them over your eyes and cry lemonade.

In conclusion, we hope these crying puns brought a tear to your eye – but only from laughter! If you’re hungry for more pun-tastic fun, be sure to check out our website for a plethora of other hilarious wordplay. Thank you for joining us on this pun-filled adventure, and we’re grateful you took the time to visit our site. Keep laughing until you cry!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.