Looking for a good laugh? You’ve come to the right place! Get ready to crack up with over 200 hilarious house puns that are sure to make you smile. From roofing to plumbing to home decor, these puns have it all. Whether you’re a homeowner or just appreciate a good joke, these puns are too good to pass up. So sit back, relax, and prepare yourself to laugh your foundation off. Let’s get started!
“Humor and Home: The Best House Puns” (Editors Pick)
Sure, here are 20 house puns:
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
3. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
4. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
5. Did you hear about the kidnapping at the park? He woke up!
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
7. I’m really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
8. I don’t trust people who take drugs. Like Customs officers.
9. I used to play piano by ear but now I use my hands.
10. Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they’d be a chicken sedan.
11. I don’t trust people who use graph paper. They’re always plotting something.
12. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
13. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
14. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way.
15. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
16. I would tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
17. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
18. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
19. I used to be a baker, but then I couldn’t raise the dough.
20. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.
Punny Home Patter (One-liner Puns)
1. Why did the hipster buy a house? He wanted a home before it was cool.
2. I’m going to build a birdhouse but I’m worried about the fowl language.
3. It’s hard to find a house that doesn’t have a catch.
4. The house that’s made of bread will probably lead to crumb-lots.
5. I can’t decide whether to paint my house blue or indigo. I’m torn between two hues.
6. My housemate and I decided to switch on who buys groceries each week. Turn’s out we’ve been living in a switcheroo house.
7. Investing in real estate seems like a good idea, but it’s difficult to mortgage your future.
8. Why did the teenager sneak into the house through the window instead of using the door? They didn’t want to be framed.
9. The spider in my house doesn’t pay rent, but at least they’re good at cobweb design.
10. Most people don’t have a fence around their house made of old wine barrels. It’s a barrel-y popular choice.
11. I want to buy a house near the ocean, but it’s too expensive. I’m feeling pretty shorechanged.
12. I tried to make my house out of playing cards, but it collapsed like a house of jokers.
13. In the haunted house, the ghost wouldn’t let the medium leave, saying, “I need to get my house in order.”
14. Why did the birdhouse attract so many birds? It had a tweet location.
15. I thought about putting large mirrors on the walls of my house but realized it would just reflect poorly on me.
16. The house-shaped cookie cutter was perfect for making a gingerbread real estate deal.
17. I had to place a birdhouse in my backyard quickly, but it didn’t click until I used a quick-coupling.
18. The man who built his house on quicksand always left the door open for a quick escape.
19. I lined all the doors in my house with aluminum foil. The paranoid’s house has suspicious-looking doors.
20. The house made entirely out of marshmallows was sticky but sweet.
“Let’s Houseplant: Q&A Puns to Leaf You in Stitches!”
1. Why did the roof go to the doctor? Because it had a shingle.
2. What’s a house’s favorite meal? Roof-tisserie chicken.
3. Why did the painter get in trouble? He brushed with danger.
4. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
5. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
6. How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
7. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crummy.
8. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
9. What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hey, bud!”
10. Why did the banana go the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
11. What kind of music do planets listen to? Nep-tunes.
12. Why did the robber hang up his socks? He wanted to steal socks off.
13. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
14. What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
15. Why did the cow go to outer space? To see the udder side of the moon.
16. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
17. Why did the boy sprinkle sugar on his pillow before he went to sleep? So he could have sweet dreams.
18. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
19. How do you check if your doorbell is working? Knock-knock.
20. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
House-pitality: A Pun-tastic Guide to House Puns
1. Why did the roofer quit his job? He couldn’t keep up with the housework.
2. Want to hear a roofing joke? The first one is on the house.
3. I’d invite you inside, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with my house-aroma-therapy.
4. Why did the burglar break into the house and clean the kitchen? He wanted to steal some nice appliances.
5. My house is like a four-leaf clover. Small, lucky and hard to find.
6. I’m looking to buy a new house but I’m not sure which style to choose. Maybe I’ll go with a colon-ial.
7. Did you hear about the house that lost its foundation? It was condemned to the ground.
8. I decided to organize my tool shed today. It was a hammer-looking experience.
9. They say a house divided against itself cannot stand, but what about a duplex?
10. I was going to start a home renovation business but everyone kept telling me it’s a shack-y industry.
11. My housemate left his dishes in the sink again. Looks like I’ll be cleaning up his mess-hall.
12. I heard there was a house party last night, but it got a little roof-less.
13. I was offered a free house but it turned out to be a real fixer-upper. Maybe I can incorporate some stair-oids.
14. I spent all day painting my house but I think it’s still missing a certain shingle something.
15. My house is shaped like a rectangle, but apparently some people prefer it pear-shaped.
16. I tried to plant flowers around my house, but it turned out to be a bloomin’ disaster.
17. I hired a contractor to redo the kitchen, but it ended up going re-fryer.
18. I ordered a house-made hamburger and it was the best one I’ve ever tasted!
19. Did you know the White House has 132 rooms and six levels? That’s a lot of cabinet meetings.
20. My house’s outdoor decorations were so good, they garnered a crowning achievement.
“Humor at Home: Hilarious House Puns in Idioms”
1. “I wanted to buy a tiny house, but it was way outside my bungalow.”
2. My friend’s new house is a real mobile-home run.
3. “I put so much work into decorating my house, I feel like I nailed it to the wall.”
4. “I love my new house, it’s a real home-plate.”
5. “I’m so excited to renovate my house, it’s going to be an open-door policy.”
6. “I just moved into a new house, but the mortgage really closed the door on my bank account.”
7. “I’m trying to sell my house, but it’s been a real window of missed opportunity.”
8. I can’t wait to put up my Christmas lights, it’s going to be an electric-house.
9. “I want to make sure my house is energy-efficient, so I really need to insulate the situation.”
10. “I’m hoping to make my house eco-friendly, so I’m planting some green-ery.”
11. “My house is starting to feel a bit cramped, I could really use a bigger square-footage.”
12. “I love spending time outside my house, it’s a real porch-swing of things.”
13. “I’m trying to save up for a bigger house, so I’m penny-pinching the situation.”
14. “I couldn’t believe how cheap I found my new house, it was a real steal-structure.”
15. “I’m hoping to add a pool to my house, it’s going to be a real dive-investment.”
16. “I had to sell my old house, it just didn’t have the foundation to make it worthwhile.”
17. “I can’t wait to throw a housewarming party, it’s going to be a real heated-affair.”
18. “I love my new house, it’s a real roof-raising experience.”
19. “I’m hoping to start a garden on my property, it’s going to be a real growth-housing.”
20. “I need to get new windows for my house, so I can keep the cold out and the jokes in.”
House Puns Galore: Homely Wordplay (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. My house is haunted, but I’m not scared – I love boohoo-sitting!
2. Cleaning our house is like going to the gym; we always feel home-worked afterwards.
3. I don’t trust these new smart houses. They’re too sensitive and always think they’re hotter than they actually are!
4. Every day feels like Sunday at my house, but I’m not re-laxing enough…
5. You know what’s worse than a snake in my house? A splinter in your hearth.
6. I’m always so jealous of architects. They can build homes and hearths – I can barely butter bread!
7. Every time I clean my gutters, I remind myself: it’s important to keep your house in hoarder condition.
8. Recently upgraded from our temper-tent to a house. You could say we have a new temper-home!
9. I heard a bird in my chimney last night. Should I be worried about fowl play?
10. I have a large collection of novelty house keys. My wife thinks it’s a lock of nonsense.
11. I love living at my parents’ house; it’s like coming home every night…
12. My wife loves when I cook for her, and I love when she washes the dishes. We’re a home-cook/plate-washer team!
13. This old house of mine has a lot of history, but not a lot of future potential. It’s like living in a past-perfect tense.
14. I built a tree-house, but the council said it was a cantilever, and gave me a permit-tent to cut it down.
15. I’m planning on moving house soon! My wife is so excited about building a bar in the basement, she has all the whine-scenarios planned out!
16. It’s cold outside, but it’s cozy inside. You could say I’m in a hibernation/hiber-niche!
17. We’re currently watching a horror movie in our new house – my wife thinks it’s scary decor/scar-ay decor.
18. I love playing hide-and-seek with my dog in the new house. It’s his favourite home-petition.
19. My wife loves old houses. She’s always bringing to light some new things we need to complete old task-houses.
20. I always thought white picket fences would be too cliché, but now I think they’re a home-fence-lcon!
“Home, Sweet Punned Home: Getting a Laugh with House Puns”
1. Hugh Mungus House
2. The House that Jack Built-in Laundry Room
3. I.Wanda Be In That House
4. Mister Clean House
5. John Siding’s House
6. Abra Kadabra House of Illusion
7. Knock House Who’s There
8. Chip ‘n Dale House of Nuts
9. House Party Rock Anthem
10. Eureka House of Discoveries
11. Tai Chi House of Zen
12. Harry Potter’s House of Wizardry
13. Sherlock Holmes House of Mysteries
14. The Great Gatsby House of Parties
15. The Red House Painters
16. Aladdin’s House of Wonders
17. Tarzan’s House of Jungle
18. The Brady Bunch House of Groove
19. The Wolf of Wall Street House
20. Home Alone House of Pranks
Turn Up the Fun with House Puns (Spoonerisms)
1. Mouse puns -> Pouse muns
2. Roof puns -> Pooth runs
3. Stair puns -> Stare puns
4. Window puns -> Pindow wuns
5. Door puns -> Poor duns
6. Chimney puns -> Shimmey chinns
7. Wall puns -> Pall wuns
8. Garden puns -> Darden guns
9. Bathroom puns -> Baffroom pums
10. Closet puns -> Closset pluns
11. Kitchen puns -> Pitchen kuns
12. Bedroom puns -> Redroom boomps
13. Floor puns -> Poor fluns
14. Attic puns -> Addic tits
15. Garage puns -> Carage gurns
16. Hallway puns -> Wallway hallns
17. Balcony puns -> Calcony buns
18. Basement puns -> Bacement suns
19. Roofing puns -> Roothing puffs
20. Foundation puns -> Foundashion puns
House-y Come, House-y Go! (Tom Swifties on House Puns)
1. “I love contracting houses,” Tom said with a sigh, “framingly.”
2. “I will never be homeless,” Tom declared, “found-amentally speaking.”
3. “This house is in shambles,” Tom noted, “roof-fully yours.”
4. “I can’t find my keys,” Tom said, “absent-mindedly homebound.”
5. “I was feeling down, but then I came home,” Tom stated, “threshold-edly better.”
6. “I love converting old homes,” Tom said, “renewedly.”
7. “I prefer living in a mansion,” Tom said, “domestically.”
8. “I need to fix this leaky faucet,” Tom said, “plumbing-ly aware.”
9. “This house is so big, I’m lost,” Tom said, “hall-ucinating.”
10. “This wallpaper is distracting,” Tom said, “decor-ously offended.”
11. “I love my new home,” Tom said, “Estate-atically happy.”
12. “The house is being renovated,” Tom said, “con-structively occupied.”
13. “I need to paint the walls,” Tom said, “brushingly speaking.”
14. “I love my small home,” Tom said, “estate-ly challenged.”
15. “I’m selling my old house,” Tom said, “brokered-ly.”
16. “This mansion is overpriced,” Tom surmised, “realistically speaking.”
17. “I need to put up new drapes,” Tom said, “curtain-ly concerned.”
18. “The yard needs to be mowed,” Tom said, “lawn-ly determined.”
19. “I’m moving out of this home,” Tom said, “dis-housed-ening.”
20. “I can’t believe I bought this house,” Tom said, “mortgage-ly committed.”
Contradictory Home Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. The haunted house was a real estate ghost town.
2. The new family’s moving boxes were filled with empty promises.
3. The security system was perfectly flawed.
4. The fire station had a cold fireplacε.
5. The housekeeper cleaned up the messily neat living room.
6. The dog’s bark was deafeningly silent.
7. The wall paint was a bright shade of dull.
8. The staircase went up and down at the same time.
9. The leaky roof kept the sun shining.
10. The front door wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.
11. The window panes were shatteredly intact.
12. The doormat’s welcome was unwelcomingly warm.
13. The creaky floors were soundly loud.
14. The mirror showed a perfectly imperfect reflection.
15. The house design was beautifully ugly.
16. The green plants were naturally artificial.
17. The mailbox was filled with empty messages.
18. The unclean dishes were spotlessly dirty.
19. The garage was brimming with empty space.
20. The boiling water was coldly hot.
House-ifying Puns (Recursive House Puns)
1. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
2. I have a photographic memory, but I always forget to develop it.
3. You know what really bugs me? Insects.
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
5. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it.
6. I was trying to come up with a joke about construction, but I’m still working on that.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
8. I used to be a baker, but I loafed around too much.
9. I think I’ve become a napoleon complex. I’m just short tempered.
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
11. I’m really good at math, but I’m terrible at geometry. It’s just not my triangle.
12. My friend said he saw a deer in his backyard. I said, “Oh, dear!”
13. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
14. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re really re-markable.
15. I never trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
16. I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
17. I’m a big fan of wind turbines. They really blow me away.
18. I saw a crime at the grocery store. It was a food fight!
19. I tried to start a hot air balloon business, but it never took off.
20. I didn’t want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop… but when I got home, all the signs were there.
“Door-mat-ic Puns: Welcome to the World of House Jokes!”
1. “Home is where the heart is” may be true, but my hearth is where the home is.
2. “A house divided against itself cannot stand,” but what if it’s a duplex?
3. “Cleanliness is next to godliness,” but I guess I’ll settle for being next to a clean house.
4. “Charity begins at home,” but so does hoarding, so I better start donating.
5. There’s no place like home,” except for maybe a beach house, or a cabin in the woods.
6. “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence,” but my landscaper says “not if I do it right.”
7. “When one door closes, another one opens,” unless it’s just a French window, then both are always open.
8. “Beggars can’t be choosers,” but renters are those beggars who can still demand an undermount sink.
9. Don’t judge a book by its cover,” unless it’s a house with a “for sale” sign, then all bets are off.
10. “You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” but you can have your house and Airbnb it to strangers.
11. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket,” unless that basket is a fixer-upper in the hot market.
12. “A bird’s nest in every tree,” but if a bird moves into my house, it’s definitely not a nest, it’s an infestation.
13. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear,” but with enough shiplap, maybe it’s possible.
14. “Actions speak louder than words,” but a house with curb appeal still does a lot of talking.
15. “A penny saved is a penny earned,” but a penny spent on home improvements earns a million dollars in self-satisfaction.
16. “Rome wasn’t built in a day,” but with the right contractor and a big enough budget, it could have been.
17. “It’s not the size of the house, it’s the size of the heart that counts,” but if you want a finished basement, you better have a big wallet too.
18. “The early bird catches the worm,” but the late bird gets the best view from the rooftop deck.
19. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire,” except when I burn the popcorn in the microwave.
20. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure,” but a few ounces of weed and a pound of nachos is worth a night spent on the couch in your cozy house.
In conclusion, we hope you enjoyed these 200+ hilarious house puns and had a good laugh. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and these puns are the perfect prescription. If you want more puns and jokes, feel free to check out the other sections of our website. We appreciate you taking the time to visit our site, and we hope to see you again soon!
