Looking for some punny humor to pass the time? Look no further than these clock puns! From silly one-liners to clever wordplays, these time-themed jokes are sure to keep you tickled and tockled. Whether you’re a clock enthusiast or just appreciate a good pun, you’ll find over 200 hilarious time-related puns on everything from hourglasses to sundials. So don’t wait a second longer – read on and let these clock puns put a smile on your face and a tickle in your funny bone! And if you’re worried about running out of time to enjoy them all, don’t worry – these puns are truly timeless.
Time to Laugh (Editors Pick)
1. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
2. You can’t escape time; it will always be a ticking issue.
3. Why did the clock go to the technician? Because it had a tickly throat.
4. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s table was Sir Cumference. He ate too much pi.
5. That man was a clock maker by trade, but he just didn’t have the time for it anymore.
6. I tried to make a belt out of clocks once, but it was a waist of time.
7. I heard that in medieval times, they plugged a clock in; fortunately, it was a moveable feast.
8. A clock manufacturer kept getting complaints that their clocks were always running late. They realized they needed to tighten up production.
9. How do you make a clock laugh? You tickle its hands.
10. This clock is always hungry, it goes back four seconds.
11. I used to make clocks out of aluminum, but then I realized it was just a waste of time.
12. There was a clock that was always late – it had a small face.
13. I couldn’t help but feel like a weight had been lifted when I sold my stopwatch.
14. How does a clock hop from one place to another? By using a ticking time machine.
15. If you want to know what makes a clock tick, watch it for a while.
16. Someone stole my Microsoft Surface from the clock where I hid it. They must have picked the right time to do it.
17. Why did the man throw his clock out the window? Because he wanted to see time fly.
18. Did you hear about the big scandal at the clock factory? They were caught selling secondhand goods.
19. What did the watch say to the wrist? “I’m just here for the good Times”.
20. When the man’s watch was stolen in broad daylight, he realized he was running out of time.
Tick-Talking Puns (One-liner Jokes on Clocks)
1. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
2. Did you hear about the man who lost his clock? He really took a lickin'.
3. What time was the dentist appointment? Tooth-hurty.
4. Why did the clock get a promotion? It had second-to-none performance.
5. My circadian rhythm was out of sync, so I bought a new clock. It was a real face-lift.
6. Did you hear about the time traveler who went back in time to see an ancient insect? It was a tick-tock tick.
7. What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
8. Why don’t clocks like going to the gym? It makes their hands tired.
9. The clock was banned from the gym for doing too many tick-tocks.
10. Did you hear about the clock that wanted to become a magician? He wanted to learn how to do a few tick-tock tricks.
11. The only person who knows what time it is, is the one with the working clock.
12. Why did the clock go back four seconds? Because it wanted to be back in a tick.
13. I wouldn’t buy a used clock. It’s just not worth the time or money.
14. Why did the ghost call the clock? To ask for a minute of boos.
15. What do you call a watch that can play music? A Rock-clock-timer.
16. Mount Rushmore is in desperate need of a new face – Time is of the essence.
17. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
18. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? For tocking in class.
19. Did you hear about the group of clocks that robbed a bank? They went back in time and took the money.
20. Did you hear about the angry clock? It went back four seconds and ticked off.
Tick-Tock Trivia (Question-and-Answer Puns on Clock Puns)
1. What do you get when you cross an alarm clock with a feather? A “wake-up tickle”.
2. What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? “Look, no hands!”
3. Why was the mantel clock embarrassed? It had a face that only a mother could love.
4. Why did the cuckoo clock break up with the grandfather clock? It had commitment issues – it couldn’t handle being wound up all the time.
5. Why was the clock in the airport always running late? It had jet lag.
6. What did the broken clock say to the watchmaker? “I’m feeling ticked off!”
7. Why did the watchmaker win the award for “most likely to succeed”? He had good clock-sense.
8. Why did the detective arrest the clock? It was guilty of second-hand theft.
9. How did the wristwatch break up with the Swiss clock? It just couldn’t face the time difference.
10. How do you describe a clock that likes to run marathons? It’s tick-tocking!
11. Why did the grandfather clock get such a long sentence in prison? It was clocked speeding.
12. Why was the sundial so laid-back? It was solar-powered.
13. Why did the digital clock get a promotion at work? It had 24/7 availability.
14. What does Big Ben eat when it’s hungry? Timepieces.
15. How do you describe a sad clock? It’s feeling tick-less.
16. Why was the clock so frustrated? It was always running behind.
17. What did the clock say to the coffee pot when it was running behind schedule? “Looks like we’re in a tight roast!”
18. Why did the bell tower clock retire? It was tired of taking its job too lightly.
19. What did the grandfather clock say to the wall clock when they went on vacation together? “We’re going to have a tick-tock vacation!”
20. How do you describe a clock that only tells time backwards? Counter-clockwise!
Tick Tock, Get Your Pun Game On (Double Entendre Puns)
1. Did you hear about the clock that was hungry? It went back four seconds.
2. Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to clock watching? He went cuckoo!
3. Why did the man put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work overtime.
4. Why did the clock go to the doctor? It had a tick.
5. I couldn’t figure out why the clock wasn’t working. Then I realized it needed a little time off.
6. Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It was time to move on.
7. Why did the man stare at the clock all day? Because it was time consuming.
8. What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
9. Why did the giant clock go to work? To make big money.
10. Why did the cheap clock go to the mechanic? It needed a second hand.
11. Why did the man return his clock? It ticked him off.
12. Why did the man refuse to believe what the clock was telling him? Because he thought it was a second-hand source of information.
13. What did the clock say when it was handed a donut? Time to make the donuts.
14. Why was the clock in a bad mood? It didn’t have a ticking time bomb.
15. Why was the teacher scared of the clock? It had a second face.
16. Why did the clock go broke? It spent all its time.
17. Why did the grandfather clock get lost? It had time on its hands.
18. Why was the clock angry? It had a face that could stop time.
19. Why did the clock go into therapy? It had a ticking time bomb.
20. Why did the clock go to the go-go bar? To strip!
“Time to Tick-le Your Funny Bone: Clock Puns in Popular Idioms”
1. It’s about time we had some clock puns.
2. Clocks aren’t very good at math – they always need a minute.
3. A clock’s favorite DJ must be Grandfather Clock.
4. That clock repairman really knows how to tick off his customers.
5. Clocks are very punctual – they always go tick-tock on schedule.
6. The best time to buy a clock is right now, unless you’re already late.
7. He’s getting old – his memory is ticking away.
8. Did you hear about the clock that went to the army? It faced the tick-and-tack drill.
9. When in doubt, just clock out any distractions.
10. Don’t worry about me, I’m just taking clockwise out for a spin.
11. They say time is money, but I think it’s more important than that – it’s time.
12. I wouldn’t trust a clock that could never get a hang of its hands.
13. Every clock in the clock shop must be wound up after a long day.
14. A digital clock told me yesterday that it had a date with a calculator, but I think it was a mathc.
15. I would say that time flies but, frankly, the clock does all the work.
16. Every clock has its day, but not every clock has a night.
17. That clock had it coming – it was just a matter of time, really.
18. People don’t always understand the moves clocks make – it’s like a different tick-tock.
19. Traveling through time is no joke – especially if you’re clocking on and off.
20. The only way I can beat the morning rush is if I set my clock to wake me five minutes beforehand.
Tick Tock (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana clock.
2. I tried to organize a hide and seek contest, but it was hard to find the clock.
3. To the clock that fell in love with a calendar, it was just a date.
4. The clock on my wall just ran off to find someone more hands-on.
5. When the big clock fell down the stairs, it got a second wind.
6. I didn’t like the clock manufacturer’s name, so I became a watchmaker instead.
7. The clock that fell in love with a balloon, she wanted to tie the knot at high noon.
8. When the clock told a joke, the audience cringed; it was about time they improved.
9. You might need more than just a second opinion to fix your cuckoo clock.
10. There’s no need to watch the clock today, time stands still on the Sabbath.
11. My alarm clock is always so crabby, it’s just not my type to wake up to.
12. The clock chimed twelve and then became a pumpkin; you have until midnight to go home.
13. I asked my smartwatch for directions, but it kept telling me it’s time to walk in circles.
14. You can try to turn back the clock all you want, but the past is always behind you.
15. The clock was just another machine, until it got a job at the Hourly Wage.
16. The clock sells seashells by the seashore, and watched them wash up ashore.
17. Without clocks, a watchmaker is just a time traveler without a destination.
18. The grandfather clock told the grandfather joke, and the crowd ticked.
19. The clock factory closed down because it ran out of time.
20. Swapping out a grandfather clock for a grandmother clock just goes to show, time changes everything.
Tick-Talk (Puns in Clock Names)
1. Timely Tom’s Timepieces
2. The Second Hand Shop
3. Tick Tock Trading Co.
4. Clockwork Couture
5. Count Clockula’s Creations
6. Hourly Helen’s Horology
7. Timeless Tiffany’s Timepieces
8. Chiming Charlie’s Chronographs
9. Tick Talk Time Co.
10. Watchful Wallace & Sons
11. Pendulum Pete’s Pieces
12. Chrono Clare’s Clock Collection
13. Retro Ronnie’s Resales
14. Minute Mark’s Movements
15. Clockwise Creations Co.
16. Antique Angela’s Alarms
17. Timekeeper Terry’s Trinkets
18. Cuckoo Chuck’s Collection
19. Crafty Clock Collective
20. Gear-ious George’s Gadgets
Tick Tock Trickery (Spoonerisms with Clock Puns)
1. Flock mocks
2. Dock locks
3. Sock ticks
4. Rock clogs
5. Block clocks
6. Stock shocks
7. Knock tocks
8. Jock hocks
9. Shock lox
10. Croc tocks
11. Hock rocks
12. Mop clocks
13. Pox clocks
14. Sip clocks
15. Wop clocks
16. Shy clocks
17. Blob clocks
18. Flop clocks
19. Clog flocks
20. Bop clocks
Timeless Puns: Clock-related Tom Swifties
1. “I feel like I’m suffocating,” said Tom, alarmingly.
2. “I don’t think I’ve got it right,” said Tom, second-guessing.
3. “I’m feeling quite drowsy,” said Tom, clock-wise.
4. “This clock face is so beautiful,” said Tom, handsomely.
5. “I’m getting impatient,” said Tom, clock-watching.
6. “I’m a little behind schedule,” said Tom, time-ly.
7. “I’m running out of time,” said Tom, second-hand.
8. “I have to get up earlier,” said Tom, alarm-ingly.
9. “I’m notoriously bad at being punctual,” said Tom, tardily.
10. “I’m not sure which time zone I’m in,” said Tom, confusedly.
11. “I can’t stop thinking about seconds,” said Tom, minutely.
12. “I’m feeling very time-pressed,” said Tom, urgently.
13. “I’m trying not to fall asleep,” said Tom, clock-eyed.
14. “I’m late for my appointment,” said Tom, apologetically.
15. “I should’ve set an alarm,” said Tom, regretfully.
16. “I’m never on time,” said Tom, chronically.
17. “I’m having an existential crisis,” said Tom, timelessly.
18. “I feel like I’m stuck in time,” said Tom, time-warped.
19. “I’m always running out of time,” said Tom, dexterously.
20. “I can’t believe it’s already night-time,” said Tom, re-tiring.
Tick-tock-ingly Oxymoronic Clock Puns
1. Time flies when you’re wasting it.
2. My favorite clock is the one that’s always late.
3. I was late for my appointment because my clock was ticking backwards.
4. My clock is jumbo shrimp-sized.
5. I lost track of time on my broken clock.
6. My clock always wakes me up for my daily nap.
7. A clock that’s always ticking is a ticking time bomb.
8. I wish I could turn back time on my clock, but it seems to have a mind of its own.
9. After my clock stopped working, I was permanently late for all my appointments.
10. The clock on the wall was deceptive—time seemed to go slower when I was watching it.
11. My clock only works when it’s time to take a break.
12. I’m always rushing, but my clock ticks at a snail’s pace.
13. My clock is constantly moving, yet never going anywhere.
14. My clock is always in a hurry, but it’s never on time.
15. I always forget to wind my clock and then it’s the same time twice a day.
16. I have a clock that’s always fast, but I like to pretend I’m getting things done early.
17. It’s ironic that the clock is always ticking, yet I never have enough time.
18. My clock is an expert in procrastination when it comes to striking the hour.
19. My clock is a moral compass, but it only points to lunchtime.
20. My clock is so slow that I often mistake it for a broken watch.
Clockwise Comedy (Recursive Clock Puns)
1. Did you know that the clock goes to therapy? It’s because it always has ticks.
2. Why did the clock break up with the calendar? It just didn’t have time for it anymore.
3. I asked my clock if it could lend me a few bucks. It said, “Sorry, I’m strapped for time.”
4. Why was the clock always running late? Because time flies when you’re having fun.
5. You won’t believe what the clock said when it got hungry. “I’m not just ticking, I’m also tocking.”
6. Why did the clock go back four seconds? It wanted to be closer to five.
7. The clock asked his mom if he could watch some TV. She said, “I’m sorry, but it’s time for bed.
8. Why don’t clocks ever go on vacation? Because they’re always working nine to five.
9. I gave my clock a compliment and it blushed. It was tickled pink.
10. Why are clocks so bad at playing baseball? They always try to steal second.
11. Why did the clock break up with its girlfriend? She was always winding it up.
12. I told my friend to put his clock in his fridge. He asked why and I said, “To make sure that time remains frozen.”
13. What is a clock’s favorite board game? Time Travel.
14. Why did the clock go to the principal’s office? It was to double check its attendance.
15. I was going to tell a clock joke, but I didn’t have the time.
16. Why do watches make bad gifts on Valentine’s Day? They’re too time consuming.
17. Why did the clock feel famous? Because it was featured in all the Time magazines.
18. I lost my clock in my basement. I’ll have to mark that one down as lost time.
19. Why did the clock feel like it had lost its mind? Because it was just ticking away.
20. Why did the clock switch to decaf? It was too wound up.
Ticking Off Some Timeless Puns (Clock Puns on Cliches)
1. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a clock.
2. Don’t be clock-blocked.
3. Two clocks are better than one, but three’s a crowd.
4. The clock’s ticking faster than a cat trying to bury poop on a marble floor.
5. Time heals all wounds, but it can be a ticking time bomb.
6. Timing is everything, but cleaning is underrated.
7. Too many clocks spoil the broth.
8. In the clock of life, the second hand never stops ticking.
9. The clock always strikes twice, once for the hour and once for the minute.
10. It’s always the right time to buy a clock.
11. Every hour wounds, the last one kills, unless you set your clock to remind you to drink water.
12. Time is money, but money can’t buy you a good clock.
13. There’s no such thing as bad time, only bad timing.
14. You can’t turn back the clock, but you can always reset it.
15. Who’s clock is ticking? It’s time to trade it in for a new one!
16. Better late than never, unless you’re trying to catch a stop clock.
17. Don’t let your clock run down.
18. The clock is ticking like a time-bomb, but it’s always a good time to read a book.
19. Time flies when you’re having fun, but it crawls when you’re waiting for a new clock to arrive.
20. Clocks can keep time, but they never tell you when it’s lunchtime.
In conclusion, we hope these clock puns brought a little laughter into your day and kept you tickled and tockled. But don’t let the fun stop here! Check out our website for more pun-tastic content and keep the good times rolling. Thank you for spending your time with us!
