Looking for a good laugh? Look no further than these tearable puns that are guaranteed to crack you up. With over 200 puns to choose from, you’ll have no shortage of clever one-liners to share with your friends and family. From silly plays on words to clever puns, this collection has it all. So get ready to giggle and share the laughter with these tearable puns. Whether you’re looking for a quick pick-me-up or want to add some humor to your day, these puns are sure to do the trick. So sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy some seriously funny wordplay.
10 Pun-tastic Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (Editors Pick)
1. I was going to tell you a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
2. The comedian’s jokes were so bad, they were tearable.
3. My friend asked me to help him tear some tape, but I refused because I didn’t want to be an accomplice to a tearable crime.
4. Why did the paper go to the doctor? Because it was feeling tearable.
5. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get away from the tearable puns.
6. The college professor’s jokes were so bad, they were tearable.
7. What did one tear say to the other? “Don’t be tearable, we’ll get through this.”
8. What’s an owl’s favorite kind of paper? Tearable.
9. Why did the paper get a job at the hedge fund? Because it was tearable at predicting market trends.
10. If you ever need to make a boring joke funnier, just add a tearable pun. It’ll rip up the room.
11. A piece of paper with a poor sense of humor is always tearable.
12. Why did the paper go to school? To get un-tearable.
13. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? Because it was two tired and tearable.
14. What do you call a pack of tissues that’s fighting? A tearable brawl.
15. The judge couldn’t decide what to do with the paper criminal because it was a tearable offence.
16. The magician’s assistant accidentally ripped his pants during his act. It was a tearable mistake.
17. Why did the piece of paper go for therapy? Because it was tearable and needed to deal with its issues.
18. What did the paper say when it was asked about its favorite food? “Anything that’s not tearable, please.”
19. The boxer was crying after his defeat, but his trainer told him to stop being so tearable.
20. Why did the paper boat sink? Because it was tearable and couldn’t withstand the water.
Ripping Good Jokes (Tearable Puns)
1. I’m convinced that a book on glue has stuck with me.
2. I’m not a huge fan of windmills, but I find them quite aerodynamite.
3. I’m not going to be stopped by a traffic ticket because I have a great bumper crop.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. I’m reading a book about telekinesis. It’s moving.
6. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
7. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he has a hole in his story.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. I’m glad I learned sign language, it’s pretty handy.
10. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
11. My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
12. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
13. Why do the French like to eat snails so much? Because they don’t like fast food.
14. I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time.
15. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from all the teary puns.
16. I’m a big fan of whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
17. I don’t trust people who do acupuncture. They’re back stabbers.
18. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
19. Teachers make good sauce makers. They know how to curry favor.
20. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Ripping Good Answers (Question-and-Answer Puns on Tearable Puns)
1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call a camel without a hump? Humphrey (hum-free)!
3. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
4. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
5. What did one hat say to the other? You stay here, I’m gonna go on ahead!
6. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener!
7. What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain!
8. Why don’t seagulls fly by the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
9. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk!
10. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob!
11. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
12. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants!
13. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly? Because they’d quack up!
14. Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
15. Why did the tomato turn green? Because it was envious of the cucumber!
16. What do you call a monkey in a suit? A business-ape!
17. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated!
18. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
19. Why do bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired!
20. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
Tearing Up the Competition: Double Entendre Puns for Tearable Puns
1. I made a pun about paper, but it was tearable.
2. He tried to rip my pun, but it wasn’t that tearable.
3. Her dress was so beautiful, it was tearable.
4. This joke is so bad, it’s almost tearable.
5. I told a pun about my optician, but it was an eye-tearing experience.
6. They turned down my pun at the fashion show, saying it was too tearable.
7. If this pun were a vegetable, it would be a tearable cabbage.
8. He tried to make a pun about submarines, but it was tearable down below.
9. My pun about rock climbing was so tearable, I had to scale back.
10. My pun about sheep was so tearable, it made me wooly cry.
11. I made a pun about explosives, but it was too tearable to detonate.
12. My pun about DJs was so tearable, I had to scratch it altogether.
13. My pun about the beach was so tearable, it made me wave the white flag.
14. His pun about fitness was so tearable, I didn’t even break a sweat.
15. My pun about ghosts was so tearable, it left me haunted by bad jokes.
16. I made a pun about fruits, but it was a tearable experience.
17. This pun about architecture is a tearable downer.
18. My pun about travel was so tearable, I wanted to throw in the towel.
19. I made a pun about the gym, but it was too tearable to lift.
20. Her pun about cold weather was so tearable, I really needed a blanket statement.
Tear Into These Tearable Puns (Puns in Idioms)
1. “I can’t decide if I should tear around town or stay home and tear up some paper.”
2. “I’m not crying, I just have a tearable pun for every situation.”
3. “I heard the paper company was having trouble and it was really tearing them apart.”
4. I’m not afraid of a little tear gas, I’ve been through tear-rific situations before.
5. “I was so excited to go bungee jumping, but the cord tore and I had a tear-jerking experience.”
6. “I had to tear myself away from the bookstore, but I couldn’t resist buying a tear-jerker.”
7. “I don’t always cry, but when I do, it’s over a tearable pun.”
8. “I was feeling weepy, but then I read some tear-jerking puns and now I’m tear-rific.”
9. “You shouldn’t rip off the band-aid, you might tear up the skin.”
10. I thought the hiking trail was going to be easy, but it was a real tear-jerker.
11. “I was feeling down, but then I tore off a good pun and it lifted my spirits.”
12. “I was at a tea party and the hostess said the tea was tearable, but I didn’t cry over it.”
13. “I was trying to make paper mache, but the paper tore and I had a tear-jerking experience.”
14. “I was tearing up the dance floor until I accidentally tripped and tore my pants.”
15. “I’m a real tear advocate for using sustainable paper products.”
16. “I was trying to make a dress out of tissue paper, but it kept tearing and I was feeling quite tearful.”
17. “I was going to audition for the play, but then I tore my vocal cords and had to pull out.”
18. “I was so excited to see my favorite band in concert, but then the tickets tore and I had a tear-jerking experience.”
19. “I was feeling emotional, but then I watched a tear-jerking movie and now I’m all teared out.”
20. I was trying to create a paper airplane, but it was a real tear-ror to get it to fly.
Tear-jerking Laughter (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. My jokes might be funny, but they’re still tearable.
2. My heart is so fragile, it’s tearable at the slightest misfortune.
3. That pun was actually pretty tearable.
4. This shirt is so old, it’s tearable.
5. I didn’t like my haircut at first, but it grew on me. Now it’s tearable.
6. I can’t believe how fast the years flew by. It’s tearable how quickly life goes.
7. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! That joke is so tearable.
8. I wanted to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waist of time. It’s tearable how bad that idea was.
9. That joke about paper airplanes was so tearable, I crumpled it up and threw it away.
10. I have no sense of direction. I get lost every time I go outside. It’s tearable how bad my navigation skills are.
11. I tried to eat a clock once, but it was too time-consuming. The experience was tearable.
12. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. That joke is tearable.
13. I’m not great at math, but I can count on my fingers. It’s tearable how basic my arithmetic skills are.
14. I’m trying to become a baker, but things aren’t rising to the occasion. It’s tearable.
15. I wanted to be a comedian, but my jokes always fall flat. It’s tearable how bad I am at making people laugh.
16. I bought tweezers to pluck my eyebrows, but they’re just too painful. It’s tearable.
17. I’m trying to quit smoking, but it’s just too hard. It’s tearable how addictive cigarettes are.
18. The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side. That joke is tearable.
19. My love life is like a sinking boat. It’s just tearable.
20. I tried to learn how to play the guitar, but I’m just not very string-literate. It’s tearable how bad I am at music.
Tear-Jerking Laughs: Tearable Puns in Name Game
1. Tear Gasper
2. Teary Johnson
3. Shanna Rippa
4. Wet Willis
5. Crier Smith
6. Weeping Willow
7. Sobbin’ Robbin
8. Tissue Tisdale
9. Tear Dropsy
10. Snotty Scottie
11. Tear Jerkie
12. Cryin’ Brian
13. Bawling Brook
14. Lachrymose Lee
15. Wailing Wallis
16. Tear Away
17. Blubbering Booker
18. Weepy Wright
19. Sob Story
20. Tear-inducing Thompson
“Tearrific Tongue Twisters: Spoonerisms for a Good Laugh”
1. ‘Ear table funs
2. Peerable tuns
3. Rare bear puns
4. Beer label runs
5. Near and dear nuns
6. Clear and sheer buns
7. Fearless steer shuns
8. Deer parcel puns
9. Yearly cheerful
Tear-jerking Tom Swifties: Puns That’ll Make You Cry
1. I just finished my paper on tissue technology,” Tom said, tearlessly.
2. I’m running out of paper, teariffic!” Tom exclaimed.
3. “I hate paper cuts,” said Tom, cuttingly.
4. “I can’t believe I just tore my shirt,” Tom said, rippingly.
5. “What’s wrong with taking a second look at your work?” Tom asked, tear-considerately.
6. “Is your paper done yet?” Asked Tom, tearlessly.
7. “This note is too blurry to read,” Tom said, tearing up.
8. “I’m feeling overwhelmed with this tear-jerking assignment,” Tom said, tearfully.
9. “The situation is hopeless,” Tom said tearfully.
10. “This joke is really getting to me,” Tom said, tearingly.
11. I’ve been working so hard, it’s starting to feel like I’m tearing out my hair,” Tom said, frustrated.
12. I didn’t mean to cause a scene in the library,” Tom said, tearingly.
13. “I think I’m going to need another tissue,” Tom said, wiping his tears.
14. “I’m having trouble expressing myself without getting sad these days”, Tom said, tearfully.
15. “I’d like to be a pirate someday,” Tom said, tearrifically.
16. “This wallpaper is too much,” Tom said, tearingly.
17. “I’m sorry I can’t let you borrow my notebook,” said Tom, resolutely.
18. I’m slowly falling apart with all this work to do,” Tom said, tearfully.
19. “I didn’t realize how much work it would take to make a paper crane,” Tom said, tearingly.
20. “I’m not very good at this art class,” Tom said, tearfully.
Rippingly Hilarious Tearable Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. These tearable puns are so bad they’re good.
2. I’m crying tears of joy over these tearable puns.
3. These puns are so painful, they’re a joy to read.
4. I laughed so hard at these puns, I cried.
5. These puns are both bad and good at the same time.
6. These tearable puns are the perfect combination of funny and terrible.
7. I can’t decide if these puns are funny or unbearable.
8. These puns are making me tear up from laughter.
9. These tearable puns are pure comedic agony.
10. These puns are both terrible and terrific.
11. These puns are so bad, they’re almost good.
12. These tearable puns are both a blessing and a curse.
13. These puns are both terrible and tear-jerking.
14. These puns are so bad, they hurt-so-good.
15. These tearable puns are the epitome of a bad joke done right.
16. My tears of laughter can’t stop flowing thanks to these puns.
17. These puns are the perfect balance of humour and horror.
18. These puns are so bad, they’re worthy of an award.
19. These tearable puns are the definition of a guilty pleasure.
20. These puns are so bad, they make me want to cry and laugh at the same time.
Tear-ible Laughs (Recursive Puns on Tearable Puns)
1. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
2. What’s the biggest ant in the world? An elephant!
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
6. I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to take me places!
7. I’m reading a book on gravity. It’s a heavy subject.
8. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I just can’t seem to put it down.
9. I’m reading a book on the effects of color on mood. It’s a real page-turner!
10. I’m reading a book on the art of negotiation. It’s a deal-breaker!
11. I’m reading a book on the rise of organized crime. It’s a real mob-ment!
12. I’m reading a book on the benefits of meditation. It really puts me in a zen state of mind.
13. I’m reading a book on gardening. It’s a growing concern!
14. I’m reading a book on the history of fencing. It really touches on some interesting points.
15. I’m reading a book on the rivalry between cats and dogs. It’s a real cat-tle.
16. I’m reading a book on the benefits of laughter. It sure tickles my fancy.
17. I’m reading a book on the history of concrete. It’s pretty cemental.
18. I’m reading a book on gambling. It’s a real bet-tle.
19. I’m reading a book on the history of clocks. It’s about time someone wrote it!
20. I’m reading a book on the benefits of walking. It’s a real step in the right direction.
Tear-jerkingly Terrible Pun-ishment: Clichés That Will Leave You in Tatters!
1. You can lead a horse to water, but it’s tearable if it cries.
2. Keep your friends close and your tissues closer.
3. A penny for your tears?
4. When it rain, it pours… tears.
5. Don’t cry over spilled milk, there’s always more milk.
6. You can’t make an omelette without tearing a few yolks.
7. Keep your tears in check or you’ll pay the water bill.
8. Two tears in a bucket, let’s cry and chuck it.
9. It’s no use crying over spilled tea.
10. Walking on eggshells can be tearable.
11. When one door of tears closes, another one opens.
12. You’re the tear that I want.
13. You can’t judge a book by its tear stains.
14. Upset? Don’t cry–ask your dentist.
15. Time heals all wounds but it has a tearable sense of humor.
16. Once upon a tear.
17. Necessity is the mother of tearable puns.
18. Don’t judge a tear by its cover.
19. The family that tears together, stays together.
20. I’m so happy, I could cry.
In conclusion, we hope you had tears of laughter streaming down your face as you read through these 200+ tearable puns. But don’t stop here! Our website is full of groan-worthy puns and witty jokes that are sure to leave you giggling. Thanks for taking the time to visit us, and we hope to keep you entertained with our pun-derful content.
