Raise your glass and get ready to toast to the funniest drunk puns around! Whether you’re having a wild night out or simply kicking back with a few cocktails, these hilarious wordplays will lift your spirits and leave you in stitches. From clever one-liners to punny phrases, we’ve curated over 200 boozy jokes that are sure to make you the life of the party. So sit back, grab a drink, and let the laughter flow as we serve up a round of drunken wordplay that will have you saying “cheers” to these side-splitting puns. Let’s dive into this intoxicating collection of tipsy humor and get ready to drink in all the laughs. Cheers!
Cheers to the Funniest Drunk Pun Follies (Editor’s Pick)
1. I’m not an alcohol expert, but I can sure make a few shots at it!
2. Beer: helping people forget about their bad decisions since forever.
3. I drink to forget I drank too much last night.
4. Turns out, whiskey is a great listener. It just sits there and hears you slurring all night.
5. Vodka may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot!
6. The bartender asked me if I wanted a double. I said, “No, I want to skip straight to the triple!”
7. Champagne: because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.
8. I discovered I drink too much when I woke up in my neighbor’s bathtub, and my neighbors don’t even have a bathtub!
9. Wine improves with age; I improve with wine.
10. I told my doctor I drank so much, I referred to alcohol as “brunch.” Now I’m hitting rock bottom-o-saurus.
11. I don’t have a drinking problem, unless it’s outside on my patio.
12. Alcohol is the same as a dad joke; it gets funnier the more you drink.
13. Liquor before beer? Never fear. But if it’s beer before liquor, prepare for vomit and sicker.
14. Why did the drink go to the doctor? Because it had too many shots!
15. Beer: helping ugly people get laid since 1862.
16. I only drink twice a year: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.
17. A bartender goes to a famous historian and asks, “Will you share your ale, good sir?” The historian responds, “Sure, ale be glad to!
18. Alcohol may not solve your problems, but neither will milk.
19. Did you hear about the drunk guy who walked into a bar? He said, “Ouch!”
20. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like the bar bill after a night of drinking.
Tipsy Twist (One-liner Drunk Puns)
1. I started a wine club, but I couldn’t get it off the ground.
2. My friends and I make our own beer. We have a real brewing brotherhood.
3. The bartender told me not to worry, beer is its hoppy place.
4. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just fermenting to be around.
5. I bought a bottle of whiskey for my fishing trip, but I ended up getting tanked instead.
6. The worst thing about being a bartender is dealing with all the drunk tallys.
7. I went to a party with a bunch of wine enthusiasts, they took partying to another vine level.
8. Beer is like a liquid therapist, it always listens to your hops and dreams.
9. The wine glass said to the beer bottle, “I’m feeling grape, how about brew?
10. I decided to quit drinking, it was a sobering experience.
11. The wine asked the beer, “Can we all just get malong?”
12. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be hoppy.
13. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in the mirror.
14. I went to a distillery, but I didn’t see any disassembled liquor.
15. The bartender told me to buy a round for my friends, I said, “I don’t have any money, but I’ll still pour it on.
16. I used to be a beer critic, but I couldn’t handle the buzz.
17. I made a joke about beer, but it fell flat because it was too hoppy.
18. I tried to organize a beer Olympics, but no one was on board with the shot put.
19. The bottle of rum said to the whiskey, “We should hang out more, we make a great livering.
20. My friends threw a surprise party for my birthday and surprised me with a cake made entirely of beer mugs. It was an ale-out celebration!
Tipsy Trivias (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. What do you call a drunk person with a split personality? A two-fisted drinker!
2. Why did the grape stop drinking alcohol? Because it couldn’t handle the vine!
3. What do you get when you cross a drunk person with a cat? A tipsy kitty!
4. How do you make a drunk person laugh on command? Just give them a shot of comedy!
5. What do you call a drunken bee? Buzzed!
6. Why did the drunkard go to the art museum? Because he heard they had a wine collection!
7. How do you know when a beer is done with its shift at work? It clocks out!
8. What did the wine bottle say to the drinker? “I’ve got a really corking personality!”
9. Why did the drunkard bring a ladder to the bar? Because they wanted to reach new heights of intoxication!
10. What do you call a drunk person who steps on others’ toes? A grape crusher!
11. Why did the drunk person take their bed outside? Because they wanted to sleep under the stars, and ceiling!
12. What do you call a glass of whiskey who solves crimes? A private-eye!
13. How do you know when a vodka is having financial issues? It’s running out of cash!
14. What do you call a drunk person who has a great sense of taste? A palate-able drinker!
15. Why did the drunk person go to the gym? Because they wanted to work on their cheers!
16. What do you call a drunk omelette? An egg-nog!
17. Why did the drunk person bring a straw to the party? Because they didn’t want to drink and drive!
18. What do you call a group of intoxicated deer? Staggering!
19. How does an alcoholic bird greet its friends? “Bourbonjour!
20. What do drunk scientists study? Fluid dynamics!
A Tonic for the Hilarity: Thirsty for Drunk Puns
1. I drank so much last night, I think I reached my spirits’s peak.
2. Why did the bartender refuse to serve the drunkard? It was a sobering experience.
3. After a few drinks, everyone becomes an expert in distilling the truth.
4. When the pitcher threw a ball at him, the drunkard just thought it was a highball.
5. I have a drinking problem… I keep spilling it.
6. The drunk was kicked out of the club for making a booze of himself.
7. My friend thinks he’s a beer connoisseur, but I just think he’s barley literate.
8. Why did the drunk refuse to believe he had a problem? He couldn’t handle the proof.
9. That party was a total shot in the dark… or maybe just several shots.
10. The man bought a new wine rack, but it was a huge cabinet mistake.
11. The alcohol told me some secrets, but I promised not to mention the proof.
12. The wine spilled on the book, now it’s a book in whine.
13. I saw a drunk trying to milk a cow, I guess he heard it was a moo-thirizer.
14. That wine expert is such a grape communicator, it’s truly wine-credible!
15. Beer calls for a toast, but wine says it makes a vine speech.
16. I went for a beer on a ship, but they were all pints of lager and ales.
17. The vodka and the martini got together, guess they were on the rocks.
18. The whiskey tried to take up acting, but it just couldn’t find its scotch.
19. The drunk bicycle could barely stand on its two pints.
20. Wine just wants the right glass to be transparent, guess it’s tired of being wine-dow dressed.
Tipsy vocabulary: A toast to drunk puns!
1. “I was so drunk last night, I couldn’t tell my elbows from my knees.”
2. She was so drunk at the party, she mistook a lamp post for her ex-boyfriend.
3. He got so drunk at the bar, he ended up sleeping on the rocks.
4. I always say ‘bottom’s up’ when I’m about to have a drink, but sometimes it gets me into trouble at the golf course.
5. After a few too many drinks, he thought he could walk on sunshine.
6. “She got so drunk last night, she was seeing double…and triple.”
7. He was so drunk, he tried to use a soda can as a phone.
8. After a night of heavy drinking, he woke up in a pickle.
9. “She was so intoxicated, she couldn’t differentiate a shot glass from a telescope.”
10. “When he’s drunk, he thinks he’s the life of the party, but really he’s just the punchline.”
11. “He had too much to drink and ended up calling a cab…for his bicycle.”
12. Drinking never bothered him; it was the morning after that caused him to wine.
13. “She stumbled through the party, trying to find her way through a shot in the dark.”
14. He was so drunk he thought his beer belly was a pool float.
15. “After a night of heavy drinking, he woke up feeling like he had gone on a bender – and the bender won.”
16. She got so tipsy, she thought the night sky was made of sparkling grape juice.
17. He got so drunk, he couldn’t remember if he had a shot at the bar or a shot on the dance floor.
18. “She was so drunk she pronounced ‘whiskey’ as ‘whisk-ayyy’!”
19. “He drank so much alcohol, he was heading straight for a high-ball.”
20. After a wild night of drinking, he woke up feeling like he had taken a shot in the dark and missed the mark.
Pint-Sized Puns (Drunk Pun Juxtaposition)
1. The bartender decided to quit drinking because he was tired of being called the “pour soul.
2. “I can’t handle my liquor,” said the glassmaker as he dropped a bottle.
3. The comedian’s drunken joke fell flat, but he stumbled upon a great punchline!
4. The beer connoisseur walked into the vineyard and exclaimed, “I’m grapeful for this opportunity!
5. The drunk accountant had a few too many, but his balance sheet remained unbalanced.
6. The tipsy tree planted itself in the wrong vineyard. It was obviously a trunk inebriation!
7. The wine sommelier refused to drink at the cocktail party. He didn’t want to get mixed up with the wrong crowd.
8. The intoxicated tailor had a hard time keeping his threads straight, so he decided to sew-ber up.
9. The drunken chef accidentally added too much alcohol to the soup. It turned into a stew-pernova!
10. The intoxicated physicist mixed up his formulas and created a perpetual merlot-ion machine.
11. The plastered architect couldn’t build a straight line if you poured him a drink.
12. The soused fisherman cast his line in the wrong river. He was clearly angling for trouble!
13. The liquor store manager couldn’t handle all the bottles. It was a real case of bourbon overload.
14. The snooker player had a little too much to drink and ended up sinking all the shots.
15. The drunken navigator couldn’t find his way home, but it was a “rumor” that he had a “spirited” journey.
16. The inebriated dentist misplaced his toothbrush. He obviously had a cavity in his judgment.
17. The soused psychic predicted a sober future, but her crystal ball was clearly having a gin and tonic.
18. The hammered blacksmith couldn’t forge a straight sword if his life depended on it.
19. The boozy cyclist decided to go for a ride but was stopped by the police for driving under the pineapple.
20. The wine enthusiast drank so much, he became a connoisseur of cork-out syndrome.
Tipsy Titles (Drunk Puns)
1. Al Coholic
2. Tipsy McStumble
3. Oliver Sipson
4. Buzz Lightbeer
5. Brad L. Ed
6. Gin-ny Tonic
7. Brewski Brothers
8. Margarita Ville
9. Rummy McDrunkenstein
10. Chardonnay Montana
11. Tipsy McGee
12. Captain Morgan Freeman
13. Whiskey Rivers
14. Stella Artois Clark
15. Absinthe Minded
16. Bacardi Breezer
17. Pinot Grigio Adams
19. Champagne Papi
20. Tequila Mockingbird
Tipsy Tongue Twisters (Spoonfuls of Spoonerisms)
1. Drunk as a fish
2. Sloshed as a pail
3. Tipsy as a parrot
4. Buzzed as a bee
5. Blasted as a truck
6. Hammered as a tammer
7. Plastered as a caster
8. Tanked as a can
9. Wasted as a taster
10. Boozy as a snoozy
11. Trashed as a rash
12. Zonked as a conked
13. Soused as a mouse
14. Pickled as a tickled
15. Sozzled as a frazzled
16. Lashed as a cashed
17. Baked as a faked
18. Jolly as a trolley
19. Flushed as a hushed
20. Merry as a berry
Drunk Dial Dialogue (Drunk Tom Swifties)
1. “I can’t even walk straight,” said Tom, unsteadily.
2. “I’m not drunk,” said Tom, tipsily.
3. “I can’t find my keys,” said Tom, drunkenly.
4. “I need another drink,” said Tom, thirstily.
5. “I’m feeling the effects now,” said Tom, woozily.
6. “I’ll have another round,” said Tom, glassy-eyed.
7. “I’m seeing double,” said Tom, blurry-eyed.
8. “I think I’ve had enough,” said Tom, queasily.
9. “I’ve lost my balance,” said Tom, wobbly-legged.
10. “I feel like a fish,” said Tom, swimingly.
11. “I can’t remember a thing,” said Tom, hazily.
12. “I’m feeling light-headed,” said Tom, dizzily.
13. “I’m in high spirits,” said Tom, cheerfully.
14. I can’t stop laughing,” said Tom, gigglingly.
15. “I’m the life of the party,” said Tom, boisterously.
16. “I feel invincible,” said Tom, boldly.
17. “I’m ready for a dance-off,” said Tom, rhythmically.
18. “I can’t control my laughter,” said Tom, uncontrollably.
19. I’m feeling like a superhero,” said Tom, heroically.
20. “I’m in a party mood,” said Tom, festively.
Intoxicated Wordplay: Tipsy Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. I’m half glass full.
2. I’m drinking responsibly… by being irresponsible.
3. I’m stumbling towards success.
4. I’m feeling comfortably numb.
5. I’m soberly intoxicated.
6. I’m stumbling upon happiness.
7. I’m walking a straight curve.
8. I’m intelligently stupid.
9. I’m a sober alcoholic.
10. I’m sipping heavily.
11. I’m on the sober side of drunk.
12. I’m falling upwards.
13. I’m a professional amateur.
14. I’m dancing clumsily.
15. I’m walking the blurry line.
16. I’m a drunk in control.
17. I’m drinking wisely… out of a bottle.
18. I’m thinking clearly, at least that’s what I believe.
19. I’m the soberest drunk you’ll ever meet.
20. I’m responsibly letting loose.
Recursive Drunks (Intoxicated Inception)
1. I was drinking so much last night, I became the spirit of alcohol. I guess you could say I’m the drunken ghost toast.
2. After a night of heavy drinking, I fell for a bottle and it was love at first sprite.
3. Drinking so much last night got me thinking, “Boozy or not to be!”
4. They say wine gets better with age. So, I’m getting older while my wine is getting “finer.”
5. Last night, I saw a beer fight break out. It was a real brew-haha!
6. I was so drunk last night, I threw up a math equation. Talk about regur-gitation!
7. They say there’s plenty of fish in the sea, but I’d rather drink like a whale!
8. I got so hammered last night, they called me the “Crocodile Dunk-dee.
9. I was so drunk last night, I couldn’t remember my ATM pin. It was a sobering moment.
10. I got so intoxicated at the party, I started speaking in spirits.
11. I was so drunk last night, I had to two-step my way to the restroom!
12. I went to a bar and had so many cocktails, they called me the mixed drink conductor. I was conducting quite the “spirit ensemble”!
13. I drank so much beer last night, I became the leader of the “hops-tocracy.”
14. After a night of heavy drinking, I woke up to find out I had become the mayor of “Snockered City!
15. I love to drink vodka, especially when I’m playing chess. It’s a “spirited” game!
16. I drank so much whiskey last night, I started making mashed potatoes. I guess you could say I was getting “smashed”!
17. I passed out from drinking too much tequila and woke up wearing a sombrero. I became a real tequila sunrise!
18. I drank so much wine last night, I became a grape enthusiast. I’m a real wine fanatic now!
19. I spilled my drink and it formed a map of the world. I guess you can say I created a “globe-in-lockdown!”
20. I got so drunk last night, I started telling jokes only a kegster would appreciate. It was a barrel of laughs!
Sipping in Style: Tipsy Twists on Classic Clichés
1. I used to think alcohol was my worst enemy, but now the bar is closed!
2. I told myself I should cut back on drinking, but then I poured myself another glass of wine and drank to that!
3. I don’t need a bartender, I need a relationship counselor!
4. I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m a wine enthusiast!
5. Some people exercise their demons, I just drink mine into submission.
6. I’m not drunk, I’m just “vertically challenged” in my motor skills!
7. I’m not tipsy, I’m experiencing gravitational acceleration!
8. Alcohol is the answer, but I can’t remember the question!
9. I’m not a wine snob, I just have a refined palate that appreciates a good drunk!
10. Age is just a number, unless you’re a bottle of wine, then it’s a vintage!
11. “Beer me” is not just a request, it’s a lifestyle!
12. I’m not drunk, I’m just practicing my karaoke skills with a little liquid courage!
13. Life’s a party, and I’m just here for the drinks!
14. I never make bad decisions when I’m drunk… unless you count drinking more!
15. Alcohol may not solve all my problems, but neither does milk!
16. I’m not drunk, I’m just embracing my inner pirate!
17. If life gives you lemons, make margaritas!
18. Sorry, I can’t come to work… I have a “wine deficiency” that needs immediate attention!
19. Drinking is my cardio… I keep running to the fridge for another cold one!
20. I’m not drunk, I’m just getting better acquainted with the sober version of myself!
In conclusion, these 200+ hilarious drunk puns are guaranteed to make you raise a glass and burst into laughter. Whether you’re sipping on your favorite cocktail or enjoying a beer with friends, these puns are sure to elevate your spirits. But don’t stop here! Check out our website for even more puns to keep the good times rolling. Cheers to you for taking the time to visit. Bottoms up!