Grab your helmets and prepare to set sail on a journey full of laughs with these 200+ hilarious Viking puns. From Thor to Odin, these witty puns will awaken your inner Norse humor and have you Ragnaring with joy in no time. Whether you’re a fan of Vikings or just looking to add some humor to your day, we’ve got you covered. So grab a horn of mead, sit back, and enjoy these pun-tastic jokes that are sure to make you Valhalla with laughter. Don’t be afraid to share them with your fellow Vikings, or should we say, pun-kings and pun-queens! Let’s pillage this list of Viking puns and conquer the world of humor.
“Vikings Pillage Our Funny Bones: Our Top Viking Puns” (Editors Pick)
1. What did the Viking musician say before starting his performance? Let’s get ready to Ragnarock!
2. Why did the Viking refuse to carpool? Because he preferred to pillage solo.
3. How did the Vikings send secret messages? They used Norse code.
4. Why did the Viking always carry a map around with him? In case he got lost at sea, of course.
5. What did the Viking warrior say when he died? “I’m Valhalla out of here!”
6. Why did the Viking refuse to give up his sword? It was his Norse code of honor.
7. What did the Viking say when his wife complained about his messy hair? “I just can’t braid myself to do it.”
8. Why did the Viking king always win at chess? Because he had a check-mate.
9. How do Vikings communicate with each other at long distances? With Norse code.
10. What did the Vikings use to sail around the world? Their Norwegian Cruise ships.
11. Why did the Vikings always wear helmets with horns? Because they didn’t want to get caught with their pants down.
12. What do you call a Viking who drives a car? A Road Viking.
13. Why are Vikings always hiring housekeepers? Because they have a lot of Norse to clean.
14. What did the Viking say to his son when he wanted to go to war? “Odin’s will be done.”
15. Why did the Viking decide to become an accordion player? Because he wanted to join a Norse band.
16. What did the Viking say to his new wife? I’m Thor you finally found me!
17. What do you call a Viking who’s a terrible singer? Tu-ning.
18. What did the Viking say to his friend who kept forgetting things? “We need to start keeping a ragna-log of everything.”
19. Why do the Vikings always carry a compass? To keep their Norse pointed in the right direction.
20. What do you say to a Viking who just got diagnosed with a cavity? “Looks like it’s time to raid the dentist!”
Valiant Viking Verbiage (One-liner Puns)
1. Why did the Viking name his axe “Tiny”? Because it’s a little Norse-y.
2. Why did the Viking refuse to play cards? He didn’t want to use his Bjorn-shield!
3. Did you hear about the Viking who won the lottery? He was Norse rich!
4. What did the Viking say when he was asked if he was good at archery? I can shoot the fjord, but I’m not sure about my Lutefisk.
5. How do Vikings communicate with each other over long distances? They use Norse code!
6. What do Vikings use to slice their bread? A Thor knife!
7. Did you hear about the Viking who opened a bakery? He made the best cinnamon-Raid rolls!
8. Why did the Viking go on a diet? He wanted to lose Norse pounds!
9. Did you hear about the Viking who became a magician? He learned how to runic spells!
10. What did the Viking say when he was offered a promotion at work? “I’ll have to think about it. I don’t want to be a Norse-er.”
11. How did the Viking get out of the forest? He followed the Odin-troad!
12. Why did the Viking quit his job as a plumber? He didn’t like working with all the Norse-dung!
13. What do you call a Viking who’s good at fixing things? A Thor-fixer!
14. How did the Viking get a job as a librarian? He had a lot of Saga experience!
15. Did you hear about the Viking who started farming? He raised Yggdrasil!
16. What do you call a Viking who’s always traveling? A Norse-vager!
17. Why did the Viking get banned from the gym? He was always lifting Odin’s weights!
18. Did you hear about the Viking who wrote a book on Norse mythology? It was a real Saga!
19. What do you call a Viking who’s always cold? A shiver-me-Torsk!
20. Why do you never see Vikings fighting on a full stomach? They’re never in the Moose!
Viking Verbiage (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. Why did the Viking keep his sword in the refrigerator? Because he wanted it to be cold steel!
2. Why did the Viking refuse to swim in the ocean? He didn’t want to become a Norse buoy!
3. What do Vikings say in the gym? I’m feeling Thor-t
4. What do you call a Viking with a bad memory? A Norse forgetful!
5. Why don’t Vikings use turn signals? They prefer raiding straight ahead!
6. What do you call a Viking musician? A Skalded Bard
7. What do you call a Viking who’s the life of the party? A fun-quaff
8. Why did the Viking refuse to go on a diet? He didn’t want to lose his Nordic track!
9. Why don’t Vikings like calling people? They prefer to send herring-grams
10. What do you call a Viking who loves ghosts? A Viking spirit!
11. Why did the Viking start feeling cold on the battlefield? They lost their northern warmth
12. What do Vikings put on their hot dogs? Norse-mustard
13. Why did the Viking become a mortician? He wanted to work with Norse corpses!
14. What do you call a Viking who’s always on the move? An Explorer Norse
15. Why don’t Vikings listen to podcasts? They prefer skald-casting
16. What do you call a Viking who’s a pro wrestler? A pro Saga-r
17. Why don’t Vikings go on a diet? They don’t like losing their Viking shape
18. What did the Viking say when he realized he had insomnia? “Oh, no, I’m gonna pillage all night long!”
19. Why did the Viking refuse to dance? He said, “I have too much Axe body spray!”
20. Why do Viking warriors carry a shield in one hand? To Valknut drop the competition!
“Plundering Laughs: Double Entendre Viking Puns”
1. The Viking king was feeling a bit horny after all the pillaging.
2. When the Viking saw the fair maiden, he knew he wanted to board her longboat.
3. Ragnar Lothbrok was a great Viking warrior, but he always struggled with directions – he was always losing his sense of Norse.
4. Some Vikings prefer to use a battle axe, while others prefer to use their swedish meatballs.
5. The Viking funeral was a real drag.
6. When the Norse god Odin asked for a sacrifice, he wasn’t necessarily talking about a lamb or a goat.
7. The Viking ship captain was really good at navigating the sea – he never blew his load.
8. I was really disappointed when I ordered a Viking helmet online and all I got was a horned codpiece.
9. Sometimes, I feel like a Viking, charging into battle every day at work with my stapler shield and coffee mug axe.
10. The Viking revival is gaining momentum; it’s a real Axehalla.
11. The Viking warrior was accused of using performance enhancers, but he argued that he was just taking Thorazine.
12. The Norse god Loki was notorious for spreading fake news – he was the original fake news Odin-ion.
13. He finally found the right way to motivate his Viking team — by threatening to pillage their profit-sharing coffers.
14. The Viking princess was tired of the men always telling her to “put a cork in it.”
15. The Viking who invented the high-five was actually just trying to give his buddy a good smiting.
16. Vikings weren’t afraid of getting a little dirty – that’s why they liked to explore their fjords.
17. The Viking bride-to-be received an unexpected gift from her groom: a Vike-O-Matic (previously owned by Conan the Barbarian).
18. After the Viking raiders captured the town, they celebrated with a raid-grown hemi-thon.
19. The great Norse warrior was the life of the party, but nobody wanted to mess around with his hammer.
20. The Viking’s choice of weapon depended on his mood — swords were for those who wanted to fight, while maces were for those who wanted to f-f-f-f-f-ight.
Viking Victories and Punderful Phrases (Puns in Viking Idioms)
1. The viking captain was highly respected, as he always took the helm by his horns.
2. The viking warrior was always seasick because he couldn’t keep his sea legs under control.
3. The viking king had a lot on his plate, but he never forgot to feast his eyes on his enemies.
4. The viking maiden was known for keeping her cool in battle; she had an ice heart.
5. The viking crew loved hearing their captain tell tales of his conquests; they always got a kick out of it.
6. The viking chief was lost in thought until his wife reminded him, “a penny for your thots?”
7. The viking raiders were good at keeping things under wraps; they always kept their shields up.
8. The viking berserker was so fierce in battle, he could bring down a wall with just one hammer blow.
9. The viking navigator had a good sense of direction, but he couldn’t find his way out of a paper longship.
10. The viking queen was the apple of her husband’s eye, but sometimes she was a pain in his ash.
11. The viking warrior was a bit clumsy, always tripping over his axe-tended hand.
12. The viking raider was always in a hurry, he thought that time was the plunder of life.
13. The viking chieftain was fiercely protective of his treasures; he wouldn’t let anyone lay a finger on his hoard.
14. The viking longship was so big, it took an army of oarsmen to row it.
15. The viking beserker was always on the lookout for a good fight, he had an axe to grind.
16. The viking king was very selective with the people he allowed into his kingdom; he only let in people with Nordicwalker passports.
17. The viking navigator was always studying the stars, he was a real astrology.
18. The viking raiders were well equipped for any battle; they had everything from shields to the kitchen sink.
19. The viking warrior was always cool under pressure, he had an icy determination.
20. The viking queen was known for being unpredictable, she had many Viking-tudes.
Horned and Dangerous (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. Let’s be honest, viking helmets didn’t have horns – they’re just myths-staken.
2. That viking had a sharp wit…and a sword to match!
3. When the viking was in trouble, he called on his norseman…and woman power.
4. The viking warriors were epic, but their poetry was pretty skol-arly too.
5. The viking chef was always making a rösti, trying to find a way to pilaf over the competition.
6. When the viking went to the gym, he was gym-nordic!
7. That viking was a real shield-maiden, always protecting her people.
8. The viking was a real nail-biter, always on the edge of his longboat.
9. The viking was such a monster, he could literally pick up a whole fjord with his bare hands!
10. The viking was a real tough guy…he even took his mead without honey!
11. That viking’s insults were so sharp, they could cut through chain mail!
12. When the viking had to choose between fighting or fishing, he chose the swordfish!
13. That viking had a real bone to pick…with his opponents!
14. The viking’s shield was so sturdy, it could survive even the toughest skollars!
15. The viking loved his bread toasted…it reminded him of pillaging and burning!
16. That viking was such a rebel, he would even drink his coffee without a sveetener.
17. The viking’s beard was so long, it had its own postal code.
18. When the viking’s wife gave birth to twins, he called them Erik the Red and his auburn-haired twin.
19. The viking was so strong, he could haul an entire herd of cattle just by using his muscles!
20. If the vikings ever played video games, they would probably be called Scandina-Gamers.
Viking Vocab: (Punny Names of Norse Warriors)
1. Erik the Redditor (pun on Erik the Red)
2. Scandi-navy-ans (pun on Scandinavians)
3. Thor C. Molen (pun on Thor’s hammer, Mjolnir)
4. Oar-some Vikings (pun on awesome)
5. Leif Nubbin’ (pun on Leif Erikson)
6. Hagar the Horrible Writer (pun on Hagar the Horrible)
7. Sven Waves (pun on swoon waves)
8. Bjorn Toulouse (pun on Bjorn)
9. Floki-dokey (pun on okay-dokey)
10. Ulf the Uproarious (pun on Ulf)
11. Ragnarock and Roll (pun on Ragnarok)
12. Olaf the Lofty (pun on Olaf)
13. Ingvar the Inevitable (pun on Ingvar)
14. Runa Little Wild (pun on run a little wild)
15. Gudrun-ning Late (pun on running late)
16. Sif-com (pun on sitcom)
17. Sigrid the Sweetie (pun on Sigrid)
18. Kai-t the Conqueror (pun on conqueror)
19. Erik the Mead-er (pun on mead)
20. Njal of the Three-Piece Suit (pun on Njal)
Viking Voyage for Verbal Vandalism (Spoonerisms)
1. Hiking vikings
2. Biking likings
3. Striking Vikings
4. Sailing wailings
5. Raiding wading
6. Thor’s smores
7. Battle rattle
8. Norse force
9. Viking biking
10. Booty beauty
11. Fjord sword
12. Shield wield
13. Axe tax
14. Halls and walls
15. Pillage village
16. Horns and thorns
17. Longboat soapbox
18. Warrior worrier
19. Norse course
20. Rune spoon
Sailing the Seas with Viking Wit (Tom Swifties)
1. “I’m not scared of those warriors,” said Tom, valiantly.
2. “I bet they have a lot of horns,” said Tom, viking-ly.
3. “These swords aren’t sharp enough,” said Tom, edgily.
4. “I hope they have some good ale,” said Tom, thirstily.
5. “I don’t think this helmet fits me,” said Tom, haphazardly.
6. “Their boats are so impressive,” said Tom, longingly.
7. “I’m going to take a break,” said Tom, shieldedly.
8. “I’m going to pillage this village,” said Tom, raid-iculously.
9. “I wonder if they have any treasures,” said Tom, loot-ily.
10. “I’m getting too old for this,” said Tom, mourning-ly.
11. “I’m not feeling very well,” said Tom, sick-ly.
12. “I wish I had a map,” said Tom, naviga-tively.
13. “I’m ready to battle,” said Tom, war-ily.
14. “I hope we find some good food,” said Tom, feast-fully.
15. “I don’t want to get lost,” said Tom, direction-ally.
16. “I’m ready to conquer,” said Tom, triumph-antly.
17. “I can hear their horns from afar,” said Tom, sound-ly.
18. I’m going to make history,” said Tom, epic-ly.
19. “I’m not afraid to fight,” said Tom, brazen-ly.
20. “I hope we can make a good deal,” said Tom, trade-ingly.
Nordic Knot Jokes (Viking Oxymoronic Puns)
1. The viking who preferred peace over war was quite the oxymoron.
2. The hot-headed viking was cool as ice when it came to fighting.
3. The viking ship made of cardboard was surprisingly sturdy.
4. The viking with a fear of heights climbed the tallest tower without hesitation.
5. The viking who was terrible at fighting was a mean bean.
6. The viking who hated the cold moved to the Arctic.
7. The vegetarian viking was a true meathead.
8. The viking who loved the sea was seasick on land.
9. The viking who was afraid of the dark loved watching horror movies.
10. The viking who was always late was surprisingly punctual.
11. The viking with a sweet tooth was a sourpuss to everyone else.
12. The viking who hated the sun lived in the tropics.
13. The viking who preferred solitude had a magnetic personality.
14. The viking with a fear of water was a great swimmer.
15. The viking who was terrible with money was a penny-pincher.
16. The viking who despised swimming was a fish out of water.
17. The lazy viking was a true workhorse.
18. The viking who hated being dirty was always covered in mud.
19. The viking who loved peace more than anything was a fierce warrior.
20. The viking who hated the cold walked around in shorts during winter.
Sailing the Recursive Seas (Recursive Viking Puns)
1. Why did the Viking refuse to wear a coat? Because he preferred to wear his fur Norse coat.
2. What did the Viking say when he met his soulmate? “You’re the fjord I’ve been looking for.”
3. What did the viking say when he saw the massive wall of ice? Ireland.
4. Why did the Viking warrior break up with his girlfriend? Because she pillaged his heart.
5. What did the Viking say when he scored the winning goal? “That’s how we roll with the Viking soccer team.”
6. Why did the Viking refuse to shave his beard? Because he was afraid of re-gnawed Vikings.
7. What did the Viking say to the lady Viking? “I think we are meant for Valhalla, baby.”
8. How do Vikings communicate underwater? With Nordic-codex.
9. Why did the Viking wedding end in tears? Because the groom gave his wife the cold shoulder.
10. How do Vikings send messages on their smartphones? Via their Thor networks.
11. Why did the Viking travel to the movie theater alone? He wanted to see The Svenfather.
12. Why did the Viking invite his friends over for a feast? Because he wanted to Raid his refrigerator.
13. Why did the Viking have a hard time moving his furniture? Because he had some Norse back pain.
14. Why did the Viking chef overcook the reindeer meat? Because he didn’t like venison.
15. How did the Viking clean up his room? With a Nordic vacuum.
16. How did the Viking measure his length? With his Norse foot.
17. What did the Viking say when he saw the giant? “That’s a huge fjord, man.”
18. Why did the Viking build his fire on the side of his house? Because he wanted to keep Warmenian.
19. What is a Viking’s favorite type of cheese? Jarlsberg.
20. Why did the Viking refuse to plant flowers? He preferred to plant sword ferns.
Pillage and Pun-dering: Viking Puns Galore
1. What do you call a Viking who can build ships in his sleep? A snoresman.
2. Why did the Viking read the dictionary? He was looking for the definition of plunder.
3. When the Viking bakery burned down, the police said it was the yeast of their worries.
4. Why did the Viking refuse to go to the gym? He didn’t want to pillage his own muscles.
5. The Viking chef said he could make anything with a slice of bread and a jar of honey. Talk about “Viking toast with the most.”
6. Why did the Viking wear a fur coat to the beach? He was trying to keep his Nordic chill.
7. What did the Viking poet say about love? “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never pillaged at all.”
8. What did the Viking say when he met his destiny? “It was fated to be.”
9. Why did the Viking keep his mail in the freezer? He wanted it to be ice mail, instead of snail mail.
10. The Viking seamstress could sew anything, but she was particularly skilled at making Norse-vests.
11. When the Viking’s wife told him to take out the trash, he replied “I will when Hel freezes over.”
12. The Viking astrologer’s predictions were always spot on. You could say she had a sixth Odin sense.
13. What do you call a Viking who loves gardening? A green-invader.
14. Why did the Viking refuse to eat seagull? He didn’t want to go down in the annals of history as a friggin’ seahawk.
15. The Viking comedian was mediocre at best, but his helmet jokes were always a hit.
16. When the Viking lost his keys, he searched all across Vikingland, but it turned out they were in the fjord focus.
17. Why did the Viking refuse to go on a second date with the mermaid? He couldn’t handle her scales of rejection.
18. The Viking musician couldn’t play the lute, but he sure could rock a harp-oar.
19. What do you call a Viking rapper? Lil pillage.
20. Why did the Viking go to the store on his longship? He wanted to avoid Odin traffic.
In conclusion, we hope these Viking puns have given you a good laugh and awakened your inner Norse humor. Remember to always keep your axe sharp and your puns even sharper! If you’re craving more pun-tastic content, be sure to check out the other puns available on our website. Thank you for taking the time to visit and happy punning!
