Astoundingly Galactic: 220 Star Trek Puns That'll Beam Up Your Laughter

Looking for some out-of-this-world humor? Look no further than these 200+ Star Trek puns that are guaranteed to make you laugh long and prosper. Whether you’re a die-hard Trekkie or just enjoy a good pun, these jokes will have you beaming from ear to ear. From cheesy one-liners to clever wordplay, there’s something for everyone in this astoundingly galactic collection. So, set your phasers to pun and get ready to boldly go where no one has gone before with these hilarious Star Trek puns.

Boldly Pun-derful: Star Trek Puns Galore (Editors Pick)

1. What do you call a tribble that likes to gossip? A chit-chat tribble.
2. Why did the Klingon cross the road? To get to the other battle.
3. Why don’t the Borg go to parties? Because they always assimilate the dance floor.
4. What do you call a Starfleet officer who loves coffee? Brew Picard.
5. Why did the Vulcan break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t meet his logic requirements.
6. What do you call a Starfleet officer who never mentions his promotion? A humble Riker.
7. Why did the Romulan leave the dating app? He kept getting matched with his cloaking device.
8. What is Captain Kirk’s favorite brand of shampoo? Head and Vulcan.
9. What did Spock say when the Romulans destroyed the Enterprise? Fascinating.
10. What do the Ferengi say to motivate each other? “Profit and Klingon!”
11. How did the Klingon get a date? He used a bat’leth swiper.
12. Why did the Borg quit dancing? They kept assimilating the other dancers’ rhythm.
13. What is the favorite snack of the Ferengi? Plomeek soup with extra latinum.
14. How does a Vulcan greet his friend on Halloween? “Trick-or-trek!”
15. What do you call a Borg that doesn’t like alcoves? An independent drone.
16. Why did the Ferengi visit the dentist? To get his teeth sharpened for negotiations.
17. How does a Klingon laugh? Kahahahahahaha!
18. What do you call a Starfleet officer who loves to garden? Planting Riker.
19. Why don’t Klingons make good chefs? They always over-cook the gagh.
20. What does a starship captain have in common with a candle? They both go out when they run out of wick.

Boldly Pun Where No One Has Punned Before (Star Trek One-Liner Puns)

1. Why did the Klingon break up with his girlfriend? She was a Trekkie, and he didn’t like Shore Leave.
2. How do you know if someone is a true Star Trek fan? They tell you they’re a Qapla’ junkie.
3. Why did Sisko take up gardening? He wanted to have his own Deep Space Nine.
4. Why did Data go on a diet? He wanted to be more than a “fat number two.”
5. What do you call a Klingon who hates Shakespeare? A trekk-hating brute.
6. What do you call a space station that can only play one song? A single Deep Space Nine.
7. Why did the Romulan cross the road? To find a way to defeat the Federation.
8. How do you make a Holodeck work properly? You have to give it some Voyager-tion.
9. What do you call a lawyer on the Enterprise? A counselor Troy.
10. Why did the Ferengi try to buy the moon? He wanted to have his own Starship Venture.
11. How do you capture an omnipotent being? Take away his Q-tips.
12. What do you get when you cross a Vulcan with a Martian? Someone who is highly logical and extremely green.
13. What did Worf say to the Klingon bartender? I’ll have a double shot of Bloodwine. Make it a Klingon.”
14. Why did the Borg go to the beach? To assimilate some sunscreen.
15. Why did Kirk refuse to use seat belts on the Enterprise? He was too much of a Boldly-go kind of guy.
16. What does Sulu say when he has finished a workout? “Oh my, I’m Captain Jank.”
17. Why did the Cardassians invade the beach? To perfect their Sand-castle doctrine.
18. What do you call a Federation officer who doesn’t like coffee? A Tea Earl Grey hot shot.
19. Why is the USS Enterprise like a printer? Because it always needs more paper for the Captain’s logs.
20. What do you call a Vulcan with a good sense of humor? Someone who has a punfar.

Boldly Go-able Brain Teasers (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. What do you call a lost Starfleet captain? Captain’s log.
2. Who is the most impatient character in Star Trek? Warp Nine.
3. Why don’t Vulcan’s skydive? It’s illogical.
4. What do you call two Klingons playing basketball? Dunking Worf.
5. Why did the Romulan install Windows on their spaceship? They wanted to see the blue screen of death.
6. Why did the Borg go on a diet? They wanted to assimilate less.
7. What did Captain Kirk say when he spotted an alien piano? Take me to your keyboard.
8. Why don’t Klingons watch scary movies? They don’t want to be Spock-ered.
9. How does a Starfleet officer make coffee? He replicates it.
10. Who’s the smartest character in Star Trek? 7 of Nine.
11. What do you get when you cross a whale with a Klingon? An enterpris-eking big.
12. What do you call it when a Klingon feeds their pet tribble? Fuzzy food fight ballet.
13. Why don’t the Borg have Windows 10? They prefer to have seven of nine.
14. What did the Ferengi say when they opened a restaurant? “We have profit-tacos.”
15. Who is the most famous Starfleet chef? Jean-Luc Pickard-nic.
16. Why do Romulans hate playing games? They never want to ve’ska chess.
17. What is the most annoying sound in the Star Trek universe? The Ferengi’s nag us.
18. What did Spock see at the beach? Starfish and logic flakes.
19. What did Spock say when he found deep-fried Alien? “Fascinating.”
20. What is a Borg’s favorite TV show? Assimilate survivor.

Don’t Phasers Me, Bro! (Double Entendre Star Trek Puns)

1. I don’t believe in a no-win scenario, unless we’re talking about dating.
2. Resistance is futile, but that won’t stop me from trying to get resistance from you.
3. Set phasers to stunning, because I’m certainly stunned by your beauty.
4. Beam me up, Scotty, I’ve found the love of my life.
5. I’m not a doctor, but I could definitely give you a physical examination.
6. Klingons may have ridged foreheads, but I’ve got a 6-pack.
7. Are you a tribble? Because you’re multiplying my heart rate.
8. The Borg may say “we are one,” but I prefer “we are two and ready to mingle.”
9. I’m not a replicator, but I have plenty of love to give.
10. I’m picking up a signal, and it’s saying you and me would make a great couple.
11. Q may be omnipotent, but I have the power to make you feel loved.
12. Mind meld with me, and you’ll see all the love I have to offer.
13. I’m like the captain of a starship, and you’re my first officer of love.
14. Can I borrow your tricorder to scan your body – for love, of course.
15. I feel like a Vulcan in the world of love, but you bring out my human emotions.
16. Your heart’s dilithium crystals are fully charged, and I can feel the love energy flowing.
17. I think Starfleet sent me on a mission to find you and make you my partner.
18. I want to boldly go where no one has gone before – into your heart.
19. Let’s raise shields and explore each other’s hearts.
20. You can call me the USS Enterprise, because I have infinite exploration potential when it comes to love.

“Boldly Punning Where No Pun Has Gone Before: Trek Your Funny Bone with Star Trek Idioms”

1. “Boldly going where no pun has gone before.”
2. “Beam me up, Scotty, this pun is getting out of hand.”
3. “I’m not a doctor, Jim, but I diagnose this pun as highly illogical.”
4. “Q: Why did the Borg break up with his girlfriend? A: Because she was too assimilated with work.”
5. “I’m Klingon to this pun for dear life.”
6. “Resistance is futile when it comes to puns in Star Trek.”
7. “I don’t always tell Star Trek puns, but when I do, they’re out of this world.”
8. “I’ve got my phaser set to pun mode.”
9. “May the pun be with you, always.”
10. “Engage in some quality puns today.”
11. “To boldly pun where no one has punned before.”
12. Why did the Vulcan skip math class? Because he already knew how to Spockulate.”
13. “When it comes to Star Trek puns, the sky’s the limit.”
14. “A mind-meld of puns is necessary for total Star Trek immersion.”
15. “A single pun can change the course of history – just ask the Borg.”
16. Why did Captain Kirk go to bed with his communicator on? He wanted to be ready for any Spock emergency.”
17. “This pun is so bad, even Q would be impressed.”
18. “Can’t find your way out of a Klingon prison? Just tell them a pun – they’ll be begging to let you leave.”
19. “I’m giving this pun all she’s got, Captain!”
20. “When life gives you tribbles, make puns. Lots and lots of puns.”

“Beam Me Up Pun-dy: Hilarious Star Trek Pun Juxtapositions”

1. Why did Picard get a job in a vineyard? Because he was already skilled at making Klingon whine.
2. Why can’t Worf take a day off? Because Klingons don’t call out sick, they call out to battle!
3. Did you hear about the Starfleet officer who discovered a cure for baldness? He went where no bald man has gone before!
4. What do you get when you combine a Vulcan and a mathematician? Spock squared!
5. Why did Kirk refuse to dance at the Starfleet ball? Because he didn’t want to step on any Tribbles.
6. What do you call a Cardassian fashion model? A Gul on the catwalk.
7. Why was Wesley Crusher banned from the ship’s library? Because he keeps talking about his “chips”.
8. What’s the difference between Data and a toaster? One is a synthetic life form, and the other makes toast.
9. What do you get when you cross a Ferengi and a Klingon? A warrior who always demands a better deal.
10. Why do Romulans hate practical jokes? Because they always think it’s an elaborate trap.
11. How did the Klingon chef make soup? He threw in a Worf of ingredients.
12. What did the captain say when the teleporter malfunctioned? “Beam me up slowly, Scotty!”
13. Why did the Klingon fail his anthropology class? He refused to write any papers- he only believed in honor role.
14. How do you get a Starfleet captain to change a lightbulb? Tell him the old one had already gone where no man has gone before.
15. Why did the Borg refuse to assimilate Janeway? They couldn’t handle her coffee addiction.
16. How do you know if a Ferengi is a good musician? They always make a profit.
17. Why does Sulu love floral arrangements? It’s just his way of taking a Helmsman to smell the roses.
18. What do you call a snack eaten by someone wearing a red Starfleet uniform? A sacrificial lamb chop.
19. What do you get when you combine a Q and a programmer? An omnipotent code master.
20. Why did the Vulcan break up with his girlfriend? She kept trying to instigate a passionate debate.

Boldly Pun Where No One Has Pun Before: Star Trek Spoonerisms

1. “Bones Tart-Of-The-Matter,” instead of “The heart of the matter.”
2. “Moist Ron” instead of “Warp speed.”
3. “Fleet Stammer” instead of “Street Farmer.”
4. “Fascinating wees” instead of “We’ve fascinating.”
5. “Klingon Jokes” instead of “Jinglong folks.”
6. “Cracking the date” instead of “Dacking the crate.”
7. “I am sorry, Captain, but I simply cannot keep up with your past-paced Wibble-Wabble,” instead of “I am sorry, Captain, but I simply cannot keep up with your fast-paced dribble-dabble.”
8. “Scotty, warm up the transport cheetah!” instead of “Scotty, warm up the transport beam!”
9. “Hey, Spock! Clean out those pointy red-bellied kobbolfuys!” instead of “Hey, Spock! Clean out those pointy red-blooded gobbledegooks!”
10. “Captaion Crook” instead of “Captain Kirk.”
11. “Mr. Spock, please beam down to the clump” instead of “Mr. Spock, please beam down to the pump.”
12. I love the sound of Klingon in the mourning” instead of “I love the sound of cello in the morning.
13. “Klingon through the slush” instead of “Sing along to the plush.”
14. “Shut up, me boy! I’ve just had enough of your non-cents!” instead of “Cut up, my boy! I’ve just had enough of your nonsense!”
15. “I Spock Jock” instead of “I jock spock.”
16. “We need to avoid a Klingon shiller” instead of “We need to avoid a silly con killer.”
17. “The Mighty Morphin’ Ensign Power Rangers” instead of “The Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers.”
18. “Intergalactic Wishes” instead of “Intergalactic Missiles.”
19. “Doctor Evil” instead of “Evil Doctor.”
20. “Live pon fongs and qreens” instead of “Five pawns and queens.”

Boldly Pun Where No One Has Pun Before (Tom Swifties on Star Trek Puns)

1. “I’m not sure if I’ll like this new Star Trek series,” said Tom, hesitantly.
2. “I love Star Trek conventions,” said Tom, conventionally.
3. “I never forget a good Klingon battle scene,” said Tom, memorably.
4. “I can’t wait to see Captain Kirk in action,” said Tom, boldly.
5. “I’ll never forget that epic space battle,” said Tom, fleetingly.
6. “I could watch Star Trek all day, non-stop,” said Tom, continuously.
7. “I’m a huge fan of Star Trek: Enterprise,” said Tom, historically.
8. “I never miss an episode of Discovery,” said Tom, religiously.
9. “I’m a huge fan of Spock’s logic,” said Tom, logically.
10. “I can’t decide who my favorite Star Trek captain is,” said Tom, indecisively.
11. “I just don’t understand the Klingon language,” said Tom, incomprehensibly.
12. “I love Star Trek for its optimism,” said Tom, optimistically.
13. “I’ve never been to space, so Star Trek is my escape,” said Tom, escapistly.
14. “I think Jean-Luc Picard is the best captain,” said Tom, engagingly.
15. “I’m not a fan of the new Star Trek movies,” said Tom, critically.
16. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds for Star Trek,” said Tom, futuristically.
17. “I’m a fan of Star Trek because of its diverse representation,” said Tom, inclusively.
18. “I love the special effects in Star Trek,” said Tom, spectacularly.
19. “I can’t wait to visit the Star Trek exhibit at that museum,” said Tom, exhibitively.
20. “I’m a big fan of Star Trek-themed parties,” said Tom, party-photon-ally.

Boldly Punning Where No One Has Pun Before (Oxymoronic Star Trek Puns)

1. “Why didn’t the Klingon captain make any puns? Because he was too serious about his pun-ishment.”
2. “Why did Spock refuse to play baseball? He didn’t want to hit a logical foul ball.”
3. “Why did Captain Kirk set his phaser to stun? So he could use a killing pun on his enemy.”
4. “What do you call a group of Borg playing instruments? A collective band.”
5. Why can’t Worf win at poker? He’s too busy drawing a blank expression.
6. “Why did the Enterprise crew take a cooking class? To boldly bake what no one has baked before.”
7. “Why didn’t the Ferengi sell any puns? Because they didn’t want to reduce their profits.”
8. “Why did the holodeck malfunction? It was trying to create a realistic fantasy.”
9. “What did the Q say when he lost at chess? I guess I’m not so omnipotent after all.”
10. “Why did the Cardassian retire? He was tired of all the political chess-playing.
11. What do you call a group of Vulcans doing yoga? A logic class.”
12. “Why did the Romulan become a comedian? He wanted to cloak his true intentions.”
13. “Why did the Enterprise dock at a sushi restaurant? To finally get a little piece of the action.
14. “Why did the captain take his dog on the away mission? He needed a bark-up plan.”
15. “Why did Data become a jokester? He wanted to be fully-functional in all areas.”
16. “What did the Borg say when they assimilated a comedian? This joke will be irrelevant in your assimilation.”
17. “Why did Dr. McCoy always have a negative attitude? He suffered from a positronic allergy.”
18. “Why was the new captain so nervous? He was afraid of boldly going where no one has gone before.”
19. What do you call a blonde Klingon? A dishonorable mention.”
20. “Why did the captain always bring his guitar on missions? He wanted to set phasers to strum.”

Boldly Punning Where No One Has Punned Before (Recursive Star Trek Puns)

1. Why did the Borg refuse to assimilate Data? They heard he was “unplugged.”

2. Q: How many Klingons does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None. Klingons aren’t afraid of the dark.

3. Why did the Ferengi cross the road? To get to the other Rule of Acquisition.

4. Why did the Romulan get kicked off the dating site? He was always cloaking his profile.

5. How do you know when a Ferengi is lying? Their lips are moving.

6. What’s Dr. McCoy’s favorite drink? Synthe-scotch.

7. Why did the Klingon break up with his girlfriend? She kept interrupting him with “but wait, there’s more!”

8. Captain Kirk went to the store to buy some milk. But when he got there, all they had was space milk.

9. Why did Captain Picard flush the toilet on the Enterprise? He wanted to boldly go where no one had gone before.

10. What do you call a group of Klingons at the beach? The Bikini Warriors.

11. What does Worf use to shave? A Bat’leth Razor.

12. Why did the Vulcan refuse to wear a seatbelt? It was illogical.

13. Why did the Romulan go to the dentist? To get his teeth Khazan-brushed.

14. How does a Klingon keep their hair so long and luxurious? By combing it with a warp drive.

15. How does a Ferengi make a million credits? By selling empty replicator rations.

16. How does Data measure success? In gigabits.

17. Why did the borg drone refuse to assimilate cheese? He was lactose resistant.

18. How many Starfleet officers does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to do it, and two to argue about the logic of changing light bulbs in a dangerous environment.

19. Why did the Romulan cross the Neutral Zone? To get to the other Spock.

20. Why did Picard refuse to order Earl Grey tea? He was tired of hearing “Tea, Earl Grey, hot” all the time.

Boldly Punning Where No One Has Punned Before: Star Trek Puns

1. Live long and prosper… with a little help from your friends.
2. To boldly go where no pun has gone before.
3. Resistance is futile, but the temptation to make a pun is too strong.
4. A captain’s log is actually just his diary in space.
5. If at first you don’t succeed, Klingon trying.
6. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the pun.
7. You can’t beam me up if I’m already in space.
8. Make It So” is the perfect motivational phrase for any project.
9. When in doubt, deflector shields up.
10. Time waits for no man, but it still loves a good space-time continuum joke.
11. The only thing worse than a trekkie pun is none at all.
12. In space, no one can hear you pun.
13. If Spock can show emotion, anyone can.
14. A Q by any other name would still have god-like powers.
15. Resistance is not only futile, but it’s also illogical.
16. Even after death, Captain Kirk still has a magnetic personality.
17. The final frontier is actually just a really long commute.
18. To err is human, to forgive is Vulcan.
19. I’d like to explore your event horizon, if you know what I mean.
20. The most important thing in life is to have dilithium crystals handy.

In conclusion, we hope that these 200+ Star Trek puns have put a smile on your face and made you feel like a captain navigating through the galaxies of humor. But don’t stop here! Our website is full of other puns that will keep you laughing for lightyears to come. We appreciate you taking the time to explore our cosmic collection of puns. Keep on exploring and boldly go where no pun has gone before!