Are you ready to lighten up and have a good laugh? We’ve got just the thing for you! Get ready to chuckle your way through over 200 hilarious blonde puns that are sure to brighten your day. From classic one-liners to clever wordplay, these jokes are perfect for poking fun at our friends with golden locks. Whether you’re a natural blonde, have dyed your hair, or simply appreciate a good laugh, these puns will have you rolling on the floor with laughter. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the side-splitting humor of these blonde puns. Get ready to share them with your friends and spread the laughter!
“Blonde Jokes That Shine with Humor” (Editors Pick)
1. Why did the blonde refuse to use the calculator? Because she heard it had too many buttons and was afraid it would “add” to her confusion.
2. What do you call a blonde with a brain? Gifted.
3. Why don’t blondes make good bank robbers? Because they always insist on using a “blow” dryer as a weapon.
4. How did the blonde try to kill the fish? By drowning it in thought.
5. Why did the blonde keep a ladder in her kitchen? She heard that the food was always on a “higher” shelf.
6. How did the blonde try to kill a bird? By throwing it off a cliff. She believed it would “fly” away.
7. What do you call a blonde who dyed their hair brown? Artificial intelligence.
8. Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M&M factory? She kept throwing out the W’s, thinking they were upside-down “E’s”.
9. How did the blonde try to kill a fish? By drowning it in thought.
10. What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg? Nothing, they never “met” before.
11. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were “on the house”.
12. How did the blonde try to kill a fish? By drowning it in thought.
13. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to steal a police car? She was shocked to find out it was only a “cop“-per.
14. What do you call a blonde with a library card? A book worm.
15. Why don’t blondes use bookmarks? They prefer to “highlight” their favorite parts.
16. What did the blonde do when she heard that “drink and drive” can’t go together? She switched to using a straw while driving.
17. Did you hear about the blonde who couldn’t figure out how to make ice cubes? She kept boiling the water.
18. How did the blonde try to kill a bird? By throwing it off a cliff, hoping it would “fly” away.
19. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor? “Oh no! I’m going to fall again!”
20. Why did the blonde go to the dentist? She was looking for a “filling” in her blonde jokes.
Blonde Bombshell Banter (One-liner Puns)
1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
2. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint your roof green and tell her to check if the grass is growing.
3. What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted.
4. Why did the blonde get excited about finishing a puzzle in 6 months? The box said it was for 2-4 years.
5. What did the blonde say when she saw a banana peel on the floor? “Oh no, I’m going to slip again!”
6. Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? She wanted to see how long she slept.
7. How do you make a blonde’s eyes twinkle? Shine a flashlight in her ear.
8. Why was the blonde running around her bed? She wanted to catch up on her sleep.
9. How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
10. Why did the blonde put her money in the blender? She wanted to make liquid assets.
11. What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant.
12. Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice? Because it said “concentrate”.
13. How do you confuse a blonde nurse? Tell her to count the red blood cells using a blue pen.
14. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the barbershop? She heard they had high fade haircuts.
15. What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme? “Humpback Winky Doodle”.
16. How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Write “Please flip over” on both sides of a piece of paper.
17. Why did the blonde put her money in the microwave? She wanted to watch her savings grow.
18. How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree she was pretending to be a squirrel in.
19. What do you call a blonde that dyes her hair brown? Artificial intelligence.
20. Why did the blonde send a thank you note after her job interview? The company told her she was outstanding in her field.
Blonde-telligence (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. Q: Why don’t blondes use elevators?
A: Because they don’t want to be left hanging.
2. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: “I wonder if it’s mine!”
3. Q: Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar?
A: She heard the drinks were on the house.
4. Q: Why don’t blondes make good secretaries?
A: They can’t spell “anonymous.”
5. Q: Why did the blonde become an archeologist?
A: Because she heard dinosaurs were blonde too.
6. Q: How did the blonde die while raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
7. Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of orange juice?
A: Because it said “concentrate.”
8. Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Because she wanted to open wide, just like everyone else.
9. Q: What did the blonde say when her laptop froze?
A: “Looks like it’s time to defrost.”
10. Q: Why did the blonde put her money in the blender?
A: Because she wanted to make liquid assets.
11. Q: How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning?
A: She opens the car door.
12. Q: What do you call a blonde with a chainsaw?
A: Dead serious.
13. Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder to the bar?
A: She heard the drinks were on the house.
14. Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn’t want to wake up the sleeping pills.
15. Q: How did the blonde die while drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
16. Q: Why did the blonde refuse to play hide-and-seek?
A: Because nobody would look for her.
17. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a cashier?
A: She couldn’t find the “cash” button on the register.
18. Q: What did the blonde say when she was asked to take the invisible ink test?
A: “I totally nailed it!”
19. Q: Why don’t blondes like making Kool-Aid?
A: Because they can’t fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
20. Q: Why did the blonde put her iPad in the blender?
A: Because she wanted to make apple juice.
Blonde Wordplay: Seeing Double (Double Entendre Puns)
1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
2. Did you hear about the blonde who dyed her hair brunette? She wanted to prove that blondes do have more fun.
3. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair black? Artificial intelligence.
4. Why don’t blondes use bookmarks? They prefer to bend the pages.
5. How do you keep a blonde busy? Write “please turn over” on both sides of a paper.
6. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up a car? She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
7. Why did the blonde run out of coffee? She got tired of the Blonde Roast.
8. What do you call a blonde with a brain tumor? A lightbulb moment.
9. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the barbershop? She wanted a higher cut.
10. Did you hear about the blonde who thought the Unabomber was a postal worker in a bad mood?
11. How did the blonde propose to her boyfriend? She dropped to one knee and said, “I’m kneading you.
12. What did the blonde say after blowing off her savings? “It’s the blonde leading the blonde.”
13. Why did the blonde go to the movie alone? She couldn’t find a date to see “Blonde and Blonder.”
14. How did the blonde describe her new boyfriend? “He’s a blonde-licking good catch.”
15. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair red? Artificial intelligence version 2.0.
16. Why did the blonde take up knitting? She heard it was the easiest way to drop stitches.
17. How did the blonde prove she’s a good driver? She successfully parallel parked her car in a roundabout.
18. Did you hear about the blonde who found a $100 bill under her bed? The mattress was spring-loaded with surprises.
19. What do you call a blonde who just won the lottery? A platinum blondaire.
20. Why did the blonde get mad at her computer? It kept telling her she had a bad case of “keyboard error 404”.
Blondes Have Pun! (Puns in Idioms)
1. She’s so blonde, she thinks that Bluetooth is a dental procedure.
2. He’s so blonde, he thought a thesaurus was a type of dinosaur.
3. She’s so blonde, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
4. He’s so blonde, he thought Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.
5. She’s so blonde, she thought the sunburn she got came from her laptop screen.
6. He’s so blonde, he thought Minecraft was a construction site for single moms.
7. She’s so blonde, she thought a selfie stick was a new genre of music.
8. He’s so blonde, he thought a hotspot was a popular beach resort.
9. She’s so blonde, she thought Wi-Fi was short for “wireless fingers.”
10. He’s so blonde, he thought a USB drive was a Latin American dance move.
11. She’s so blonde, she thought Netflix and chill meant relaxing with a warm blanket and snacks.
12. He’s so blonde, he thought hashtags were a way to play tic-tac-toe.
13. She’s so blonde, she thought a fire drill was a tactical BBQ party.
14. He’s so blonde, he thought a power nap meant sleeping next to an electric socket.
15. She’s so blonde, she thought a quinoa salad was a type of musical instrument.
16. He’s so blonde, he thought Match.com was a site for pyrotechnicians.
17. She’s so blonde, she thought a virtual reality headset was a mind-reading device.
18. He’s so blonde, he thought an escape room was a place for claustrophobic people looking for privacy.
19. She’s so blonde, she thought an e-book was a physical book that had been going through exercise.
20. He’s so blonde, he thought Shake Shack was an amusement park ride.
Blonde Bombshells (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. The blonde decided to become a mathematician because she heard it was all about adding up blonde moments.
2. The blonde started a construction company and they specialize in fixing blonde moments.
3. The blonde opened a zoo with only blonde animals; it’s a fair clairoptrium.
4. The blonde took up gardening because she wanted to understand plants’ roots more than her own.
5. The blonde became a detective so she could solve the mysteries of her own mind.
6. The blonde became a weather reporter so she could predict her next blonde moment.
7. The blonde opened a joke shop, but she forgot the punchline.
8. The blonde joined an acapella group to sing her heart out, but she can’t find the right tune.
9. The blonde decided to start a candle-making business because she wanted to shed light on her blonde moments.
10. The blonde became a chef to whip up delicious recipes and also to whisk away her blonde moments.
11. The blonde became a dermatologist to help hide her own blonde moments under layers of makeup.
12. The blonde became a locksmith, so she could unlock the secrets of her own mind.
13. The blonde started an art restoration business to brush up on her own blonde moments.
14. The blonde became a tour guide because she needed to navigate her way out of her own thoughts.
15. The blonde took up archery to hit the bullseye when it comes to her blonde moments.
16. The blonde decided to become a psychic to predict when her next blonde moment will strike.
17. The blonde became a dentist to fix anyone’s teeth but her own blonde jokes.
18. The blonde started a clothing line because she wanted to s-tie-le her blonde moments in fashion.
19. The blonde took up knitting because she wanted to unravel the mysteries of her own mind.
20. The blonde became an astronomer so she could find the universe’s answers instead of her own blonde moments.
Golden Laughs (Punny Blonde Name Puns)
1. Blondell-icious (Blond delicious)
2. Tress of Gold (Treasure of gold)
3. Golden Locks (Golden rocks)
4. Platinum Blondie (Platinum bondi)
5. Sun-Kissed Sandy (Sun-kissed Sunday)
6. Bleach Blondie (Beach blondie)
7. Butter Blonde (Butterfly)
8. Honey Highlight (Honey high delight)
9. Golden Mane (Golden rain)
10. Blonde Bombshell (Blonde bombshell)
11. Lemon Meringue (Lemon merengue)
12. Golden Splendor (Golden splendor)
13. Flaxen Flourish (Flaxen flex)
14. Blazing Blonde (Blazing bond)
15. Icy Blonde (Icy bond)
16. Cornsilk Princess (Cornsilk president)
17. Whispy Willow (Whispy pillow)
18. Sandy Shores (Sandy shores)
19. Cotton Candy Coiffure (Cotton candy coiffer)
20. Blonde Angel (Blonde angel)
Blonde Puns: Tangle of Tresses and Twisted Tongues
1. Crondom bimbo
2. Mink blue
3. Red-headed rubble
4. Senturous singer
5. Fright dumb
6. Lame bonde
7. Blightful face
8. Nasty glitter
9. Meek blondie
10. Slonded bort
11. Dull brain
12. Prawn twit
13. Fuzzy mind
14. Curls of bimbo
15. Corn chops
16. Brunch of blondes
17. Jaded mold
18. Snappy dressing
19. Gloomy fairy
20. Rushed folly
Blonde Ambition (Tom Swifties)
1. “I don’t know what highlighter to use,” said the blonde pensively.
2. “I won the millionaire pageant,” said the blonde confidently.
3. “My hair is fried,” said the blonde crisply.
4. “I’m going to the salon,” said the blonde beautifully.
5. “I have the perfect hair color,” said the blonde expertly.
6. “I have to solve this puzzle,” said the blonde brainteasingly.
7. “I’m going to dye my hair,” said the blonde vividly.
8. “I’m going to be a detective,” said the blonde curiously.
9. I’m the queen of hair care,” said the blonde majestically.
10. I need a fresh haircut,” said the blonde snippily.
11. “I’m going to become a hair stylist,” said the blonde stylishly.
12. “I’m going to write a book on blonde jokes,” said the blonde laughingly.
13. “I’m going to the beach,” said the blonde sunnily.
14. “I’m going to lighten up my look,” said the blonde airily.
15. “I’m starting a hair revolution,” said the blonde rebelliously.
16. “I’m going to be the ultimate blonde guru,” said the blonde smartly.
17. “I need a new shampoo,” said the blonde foamingly.
18. “I’m going to be a hair model,” said the blonde stunningly.
19. “I’m going to get a blonde makeover,” said the blonde noticeably.
20. “I’m going to open a blonde hair salon,” said the blonde entrepreneurially.
Blonde Intellect Pun-demonium (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. Smart blonde: A rare breed indeed.
2. Watch out, she’s a blonde rocket scientist!
3. The blonde professor teaching common sense.
4. Who needs a brain when you have blonde ambition?
5. A blonde with a photographic memory… but no film in the camera.
6. The blonde driving a bumper car, avoiding collisions with grace.
7. She’s a blonde mastermind, plotting confusion and clarity.
8. A blonde poet, combining words and wit without a filter.
9. The blonde chess champion, making strategic moves in her sleep.
10. Blonde and Einstein, two peas in a pod.
11. A blonde computer programmer, coding with a golden touch.
12. The blonde surgeon, delicately wielding the scalpel with precision.
13. A blonde fashion designer, creating bold trends that nobody understands.
14. The blonde ninja, stealthily striking with her golden locks.
15. A blonde lawyer, winning cases with her radiant smile.
16. The blonde detective, solving mysteries with her intuition alone.
17. A blonde musician, composing symphonies of pure confusion.
18. The blonde astronaut, boldly going where no one expected her to go.
19. A blonde philosopher, contemplating the meaning of life between hair appointments.
20. The blonde magician, making logic disappear with every trick.
Recursive Blonde-ers (Recursive Puns)
1. Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? – Because she heard the drinks were on the house!
2. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to make a birdhouse? – She ended up nailing it!
3. Why did the blonde get into the bread-making business? – She wanted to rise to the occasion!
4. How did the blonde describe her job at the bakery? – She kneaded it!
5. Did you hear about the blonde who bought a watermelon? – She said, “I thought it would be a melon-dramatic experience, but it was actually quite refreshing!”
6. Why did the blonde become an astronaut? – She wanted to explore the outer blondes!
7. Did you hear about the blonde who got a job at the orange juice factory? – She couldn’t concentrate!
8. Why did the blonde join a theater group? – She wanted to act natural!
9. Did you hear about the blonde who took up gardening? – She wanted to bloom where she was planted!
10. Why did the blonde start a dog grooming business? – She had a brush with success!
11. Did you hear about the blonde who tried to become a musician? – She couldn’t find her way around the scales!
12. Why did the blonde become a dentist? – She wanted to drill for compliments!
13. Did you hear about the blonde who opened a bakery specializing in muffins? – She became the breadwinner!
14. Why did the blonde become a math teacher? – She wanted to subtract the stereotypes!
15. Did you hear about the blonde who decided to start a beekeeping business? – She wanted to bee successful!
16. Why did the blonde become a chemist? – She had a reaction to success!
17. Did you hear about the blonde who took up painting? – She brushed away any doubts!
18. Why did the blonde become a detective? – She always wanted to find the root of the problem!
19. Did you hear about the blonde who started a fitness center? – She built a strong blonde community!
20. Why did the blonde become a judge? – She wanted to bring justice to blonde jokes!
“Brunette, Blonde, and Splash-Blonded: Punning on Clichéd Blonde Jokes”
1. Blonde moments: She may have plenty of them, but at least she’s having a color-ful life.
2. Don’t underestimate blondes, they know more than just shades of yellow.
3. Blondes have more fun, and they’re also better at highlighting the humor in life.
4. A blonde’s hair might be light, but their sense of humor is always bright.
5. Just like the sun sets after a long day, a blonde is always set on making you laugh.
6. Blondes might not have a dark side, but they sure know how to brighten your day.
7. If blondes are clueless, at least they’re illuminating the room with laughter.
8. You might not find gold in a blonde’s hair, but you’ll definitely find a treasure trove of jokes.
9. Blondes always bring sunshine into the room, even on rainy days.
10. They say blondes have more fun, and boy, are they bright about it too.
11. A blonde’s hair might look golden, but their humor is pure platinum.
12. Don’t let the blonde fool you, they’re the ones who hold all the cards in the laughter department.
13. Sure, blondes have fun, but they also know how to lighten the mood with a good joke.
14. Blondes might have light hair, but their humor is anything but light-hearted.
15. Blondes shine bright like the sun, especially when it comes to making you smile.
16. If blondes have more fun, it’s probably because they know how to light up the room with their humor.
17. A blonde’s hair may be light, but their jokes can still leave you in stitches.
18. Blondes might not have all the answers, but they certainly know how to lighten up any situation.
19. Always count on blondes to bring brightness and laughter wherever they go.
20. Trust a blonde to brighten up your day with their humor and light-heartedness.
In conclusion, these 200+ blonde puns are guaranteed to put a smile on your face and brighten your day. If you’re hungry for more laughs, be sure to check out our website for a wide range of puns that will keep you chuckling for hours. Thank you for taking the time to visit our site and happy punning!
