Quench your thirst for humor with our compilation of over 200 pun-tastic drinking jokes. From beer to wine, cocktails to shots, we’ve got puns for every type of drinker. Whether you need a witty comeback for your next happy hour or want to inject some humor into your next party, these puns are sure to brew up some laughs and cheers. So pour yourself a drink, sit back, and let the puns flow. Remember, alcohol might impair your judgment, but it definitely won’t impair your sense of humor. Cheers to good times and bad puns!
Sip Happens (Editors Pick)
1. I’m a wine-osaur, I drink until I’m extinct!
2. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
3. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.
4. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? Because he ran out of juice.
5. I used to be a bartender, but I had to quit, it was just gin and tonic.
6. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
7. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m just alcohol-oriented.
8. I’m a beer merchant, I can hardly lager the excitement.
9. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
10. I’m a wine lover, I grapefully accept every bottle.
11. Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
12. I drink too much coffee because I’m a latte-tude guy!
13. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
14. I’m whiskey business, so you better leave me alone.
15. What happened when the grape went to the bank? It got squished.
16. Drink responsibly? I prefer drinking on the sofa.
17. My bartender is a therapist, I’m in a spirits session.
18. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
19. I’m a cocktail fanatic, I shake it like a Polaroid picture.
20. Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu, you get what you deserve.
Sip and Snicker: One-liner Puns for Drinking Punsters
1. “I tried to organize a professional beer drinking championship, but it was a flop.”
2. “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer dos Equis.”
3. “Why did the grape stop drinking wine? Because it was time to raisin the glass.”
4. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field…drinking beer.”
5. “Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, and not enough alcohol to solve them.”
6. “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing drinking beer.”
7. “What do you call a drunk chicken? An alcohol-egg.”
8. “Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.”
9. “What do you call it when a bartender overpours your drink? A shot in the dark.
10. I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to have a martini. Shaken, not stirred.”
11. “Why did the beer go to the gym? To workout its hops.”
12. I went to a party, got drunk, and woke up in a fish tank. Turns out, I had a few too many fish bowls.
13. “Why did the ghost go to the bar? For the boos.”
14. “Why did the grape juice lose its job? It couldn’t concentrate.”
15. “What do you call a snake who drinks too much alcohol? A hissss-terical drunk.”
16. Why did the blonde decide to become a bartender? She loved the spirit of the job.”
17. “I don’t always drink alone, but when I do, I prefer to have a glass of wine with myself.”
18. “Why did the beer cross the road? To get to the brewery on the other side.
19. Why did the robot go to the bar? To get a few oil cans.”
20. “What do you call a beer with a sunburn? A red-ale.”
Sip and Solve: Quench Your Thirst for Drinking Puns with These Q&A Teasers
1. What is a pirate’s favorite type of drink? Arrrr-den tide!
2. What do you call an Irishman who’s always getting lost on his way to the pub? A Guinness.
3. How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? Add spring water!
4. What do you call a bear that’s had too much to drink? A booze hound.
5. Why did the grape stop drinking wine? Because it was rooted in sobriety.
6. What do you call a drunk mosquito? A buzzed bloodsucker.
7. What do you call a horse that can’t hold its liquor? A whinny drunk.
8. What did the grape say when it got stepped on all day? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
9. Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it got mugged!
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
11. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
12. What’s red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
13. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
14. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.
15. What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
16. Why did the farmer win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
17. Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
18. Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well.
19. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
20. Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
Raise the Bar: Double Entendre Puns to Elevate Your Drinking Game
1. “I’d never trust atoms, they make up everything… including my drinks.”
2. “I’m reading a great book on the history of whiskey. Proof is in the title.”
3. “Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they made them with their own grey-gin.”
4. “You know what’s better than drinking alone? Drinking with people who make you feel less lonely.”
5. I make water into wine regularly… no, wait, that’s just my liver going bad.
6. “Why did the grape break up with the raisin? They were too similar, always drinking themselves into oblivion.”
7. “Beer may be the drink of champions, but we’ll all be winners if we get vaccinated and crowd the bars.”
8. “I told my wife we should open up a microbrewery. She said she’s happy with the space in our fridge.”
9. “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy beer… which is pretty much the same thing.”
10. What do you call an Indian who drinks? A chai-latter!”
11. Why did the vodka go through the sieve? It wanted to be filtered.”
12. “Everyone’s talking about clean drinking water, but have you tried a dirty martini?”
13. “Why do bartenders never get dogs? They always liver alone.”
14. “A friend of mine lost his entire beer collection in a car accident. That’s what I call a brew hickey.”
15. I don’t always drink, but when I do, I prefer to do it responsibly with friends and family.
16. “I wasn’t sure what to get my tea-loving friends for their wedding. I decided to brew them well.”
17. “If water is the source of all life, then wine must be the purpose.”
18. My girlfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.”
19. “Why did the orange try to start a fight with the lemon? He was just in a bad peel.”
20. “Why did the grape turn red? Because he saw the cranberry sauce!
Sipping on Some Witty Wordplay: Drinking Puns in Idioms
1. Let’s get fizzy-cold (let’s get busy)
2. I’m at my brew’s end (rope’s end)
3. Don’t wine about it (whine about it)
4. Let’s raise the bar (raise the stakes)
5. Don’t be spiritless (lifeless)
6. This party is on tap (on point)
7. Don’t get hammered (get angry)
8. Let’s mix things up (change it up)
9. He’s a wine-er (whiner)
10. You’re gin-vincible (invincible)
11. Don’t be a sourpuss (sourpuss)
12. Beer me up, Scotty (beam me up, Scotty)
13. Don’t bottle it all up (bottle up your emotions)
14. I’m liquored up (worked up)
15. You’re whiskey-llient (delirious)
16. Don’t gin and bear it (grin and bear it)
17. This party is a shot in the arm (boost morale)
18. Cheers to the weekend (hear, hear)
19. Don’t chug along (drag along)
20. Let’s tequila ’bout it (talk about it)
“Cheers to the Art of Pun-tiling: Sipping on Some Hilarious Drinking Puns (Pun Juxtaposition)”
1. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I bar hopscotch.
2. I got so drunk last night, I ended up in a vineyard playing grape escape.
3. I tried to quit drinking cold turkey, but couldn’t resist a shot put.
4. I hate drinking alone, it’s just grape depression.
5. I went to a beer festival and had a pint of no return.
6. Last night, I got so drunk, I tried to carpool karaoke on my way home.
7. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a wine enthusiast with a drinking problem.
8. I’m not sure if I like coffee or alcohol more, it’s a cup half martini.
9. I hate it when my bartender plays social drinkers and losers.
10. I don’t always drink cocktails, but when I do, I prefer to be in a tropical storm.
11. I love the taste of red wine, it’s merlot to me.
12. I once got so drunk, I thought I could brew my own beer-can-sized wet suit.
13. I’m not drunk, I’m tipsy, it’s a bottle half full situation.
14. After drinking too much vodka, I started to see snow-white Russians everywhere.
15. I’ve stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil.
16. It’s hard to swallow the fact that sometimes drinking doesn’t solve everything, especially with tequila.
17. I don’t always drink whiskey, but when I do, I put my liver in a state of Kentucky derby.
18. My bartender has a degree in mixology-vated assault.
19. Last night, I drank so much champagne, I started seeing stars and stripes.
20. I thought I’d take a break from drinking, but then I realized, beer is the answer.
Drink Up and Enjoy the Pun-derful World of Drinking Puns
1. Scotch and Soda Stream
2. Tequila Mockingbird
3. The Last Straw Pub
4. The Rum Diary Bar
5. Gin and Tonic Clothing Co.
6. The Booze Cruise Ship
7. The Keg Stand Comedy Club
8. The Cider House Rules Bookstore
9. Whiskey Business Consulting
10. Cocktail Cove Beach Resort
11. The IPA-nema Movie Theater
12. The Hive Dive Bar
13. Drunken Donuts Bakery
14. Vodka Vault Bank
15. The Beer Pairing Restaurant
16. The Blue Wine Winery
17. Hangover Haven Hotel
18. Red Wine and Blue Jazz Club
19. Shots Fired Gun Range and Bar
20. Tipsy Tacos Food Truck.
Sipping Slip-Ups: Spoonerism Drinking Puns
1. Blushing crow – crushing blow
2. Fainting fawn – painting phone
3. Drinking lock – locking drink
4. Boozing cracker – cruising baker
5. Sipping doze – dipping size
6. Wine and crying – dine and wyning
7. Vodka and Jell-O – Jock and Vell-O
8. Drunken stupor – strunken dupe
9. Beer handler – here bandler
10. Whiskey sour – shisky wower
11. Gin and tonic – tin and jonic
12. Bourbon on the rocks – ruben on the borks
13. Lemon drop martini- demen lop mortini
14. Ice cold beer – ays cole bier
15. Fuzzy navel – nuzzy favel
16. Tequila sunrise – sequila tunsire
17. Bloody Mary – muddly bary
18. Rum and Coke – com and roke
19. Tart Mimosa – mart timosa
20. Screwdriver – druvverscow.
Sipping Up Wit: Tom Swifties on Drinking
1. “I’ll have one more whiskey,” Tom said on the rocks.
2. “I never drink alone,” Tom stated soberly.
3. “I’ll take a gin and tonic,” Tom ordered tonically.
4. “I can’t resist a good Merlot,” Tom whined w(h)inily.
5. “I drink to forget,” Tom said remorselessly.
6. “I only like the finest champagne,” Tom boasted bubbly.
7. “I’m not a fan of beer,” Tom said draftly.
8. “A Bloody Mary always cures my hangover,” Tom said heartily.
9. “I prefer to drink before noon,” Tom said morningside.
10. “I’m in the mood for a margarita,” Tom said saltily.
11. “I’ll take a sip of your scotch,” Tom offered malt-itudinously.
12. “I’m getting too old for shots,” Tom said agedly.
13. “I’d love a cold beer,” Tom said frostily.
14. Whiskey is my spirit animal,” Tom said spiritedly.
15. “I’m a big fan of Moscow Mules,” Tom said copperatively.
16. “I’m not a big drinker,” Tom said soberingly.
17. “I’ll drink to that,” Tom said heartily.
18. “I need a stiff drink,” Tom said stiffly.
19. “I like to mix my drinks,” Tom said mixologically.
20. “I’m not a lightweight,” Tom said heavily.
Sips and Ironies: Oxymoronic Drinking Puns
1. I’m a teetotaler who loves getting hammered.
2. I only drink on two occasions: when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
3. I’m sober as a drunkard.
4. I got so sober last night, I fell off my bar stool.
5. I’m a moderate drinker – I only drink until I’m wasted.
6. I love day-drinking at night.
7. I’m participating in a sobriety challenge, but it’s driving me to drink.
8. I only drink to forget to forget.
9. I’m a responsible drinker – I always remember to forget my shoes.
10. I’m a designated drinker.
11. I’m a notorious alcohol-free alcoholic.
12. I only drink distilled water – a vodka.
13. I’m trying to quit drinking mixed drinks – I’m sticking to straight-up gin and tonic.
14. I’m on a sober-curious journey, but it’s making me want to drink.
15. I hate getting drunk – that’s why I sip scotch like it’s water.
16. I only drink beer on days that end in “y.”
17. I’m drinking responsibly – I have a glass of wine in one hand, and my phone in the other.
18. I’m so sober, I’m seeing double.
19. I’m a teetotaler who loves a stiff drink.
20. I always drink alcohol-free spirits.
Cheers to Recursive (Pun)Kins: Infinite Drinking Puns
1. It’s hard to tell if the glass is half empty or half full. Either way, I need a refill.
2. I went to a wine tasting the other day and I didn’t like any of the wines. I guess you could say I had a tannin-tolerance.
3. I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a wine enthusiast.
4. If you’re feeling down, a martini might just shake things up.
5. Beer before liquor, never been sicker; liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Unless you forget to stop.
6. I’m not a regular drinker, I’m a cool alcoholic.
7. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer de-alcoholized.
8. After a few drinks, my jokes become shot-worthy.
9. I tried to make a virgin mojito the other day, but it was missing something: a sense of purpose.
10. My favorite mixed drink is a gin and tonic, or as I like to call it, a G&T, which stands for Guaranteed Tipsiness.
11. I’ve been on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
12. I just found out that I’m allergic to alcohol. So now it’s just going to be shots of Benadryl for me.
13. I tried to make a fancy cocktail, but I couldn’t afford the ingredients. So I just mixed all the bottles I had together and called it “The Cheap Date.”
14. You know what they say: Gin and bear it.
15. The hard part about drinking vodka is trying to glass the correct amount.
16. Why did the cocktail go to therapy? It had a gin and tonic.
17. I hear that drinking coffee black is good for your liver. But you can still add a shot or two to make it more liver-ly.
18. I don’t drink and dive. I save my boozing for after I’ve finished snorkeling.
19. People who don’t like drinking just don’t know how to brew a good time.
20. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Old Milwaukee. Stay thirsty, my friends, because this isn’t good on its own.
Sip Happens: Puns on Drinking Clichés
1. My bartender friend was arrested for mixing business with pleasure.
2. I’m a beer lover, but I’m also champagne-ning your opinion.
3. A whiskey a day keeps the doctor away, but only if you aim well.
4. I was going to tell a joke about tequila, but it’s too salt-y.
5. I’m not sure if I like sweet or dry wine, I guess I’m vine-cisive.
6. The drunk man missed his cue at the bar, he must’ve taken the swig and missed.
7. They say drinking coffee on an empty stomach is bad, but they haven’t met the double shots of espresso in my veins.
8. I tried to quit drinking, but I became the sober man in the room.
9. As soon as I got my beer, the bartender gave me the cold frosty shoulder.
10. The bartender called last orders, so I had to gin and beer it.
11. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer it as a hops-scapade.
12. I never touch brews, I prefer to drink liquids that have been processed by acai.
13. They say a wine tasting is like a box of chocolate, but I find it grape-ful.
14. I didn’t think I’d like drinking with a straw, but it must be sippy hour.
15. A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head, the barman asks, “what can I get you?” The duck said, “can you put it on my bill?”
16. When life gives you lemons, add vodka and make a lemon drop.
17. A martini walks into a bar, orders a drink, and tells the bartender not to forget to shake, not stir.
18. Beer, because sometimes one cold drink needs another cold drink to help it temp-erature.
19. The morning after, I always have feelings of beer-chu gin and regret.
20. I’m not an alcoholic, I’m a grape enthusiast.
Cheers to laughter and puns that can lighten up any party or gathering! We hope that our list of 200+ drinking puns has left you thirsty for more. Don’t forget to check out other pun-tastic articles on our website and keep the good times rolling. Thanks for stopping by!
