Epic Collection: 220 Hilarious Lord of the Rings Puns to Rule Them All

Punsteria Team
lord of the rings puns

Looking for a good laugh? If you’re a fan of J.R.R. Tolkien’s epic fantasy series, Lord of the Rings, then you’re in for a treat! We’ve got over 200 hilarious puns that are sure to make you chuckle and groan in equal measure. From silly wordplay to clever twists on your favorite characters, these puns are sure to rule them all. Whether you’re headed to Mordor or just want to share a good laugh with your Fellowship, our epic collection of Lord of the Rings puns will have you in stitches. So grab your elven cloak and get ready to grin, because with these puns, the fun never ends!

“My Precious Puns” (Editors Pick)

1. “Why was Frodo the best burglar? Because he was always up to Mordor.”

2. “What do you call a hobbit who’s a fan of football? A Goalum.”

3. “Why didn’t Sauron go to the mall? Because he already had all the one ring he needed.

4. “Why is Bilbo always happy? Because Gandalf gives him Fellowship.”

5. “Why did Frodo buy an iPhone? So he could always have his ringtone with him.”

6. What do you call an elf who loves to sing? A tuneful Noldo.”

7. “Why did Frodo never wear shoes? Because he wanted to feel the grass between his toes.”

8. What do you get when you cross a dwarf and a dragon? A fire-breathing Gimli.”

9. “Why did Gandalf retire? Because he felt he had no more rings to give.”

10. “Why did the fellowship go to Isengard? To get their rings buffed and polished.”

11. “What’s the best way to get to Mordor? By taking a hobbit cab.”

12. Why did Aragorn get chicken nuggets for his army? Because he wanted them to have second breakfast.

13. “Why did the ring want to be a bracelet? So it could be surrounded by more precious things.”

14. “Why did Merry and Pippin keep drinking Ent-draught? So they could grow taller.”

15. Why did Gollum open a seafood restaurant? So he could serve his famous catch of the day.”

16. “Why did Legolas paint his face? So he could look his elvish best.”

17. “Why didn’t Sam and Frodo know how to swim? Because there weren’t any Hobbit-sized pools available.”

18. “Why did Saruman get kicked out of the wizarding world? Because he couldn’t decide whether to be good or evil.”

19. “Why did Frodo never lose his ring? Because he was always wearing it around the neck.”

20. “Why did the hobbit go to the doctor? Because he had a case of Bilbos.”

Ring-side Repartee: Lord of the Rings One-liner Puns

1. I asked my friend if he wanted to watch The Lord of the Rings with me, but he said he didn’t “tolkien” to me.
2. My girlfriend was watching Lord of the Rings when she accidentally hit the power button. I guess you could say she Frodo the switch.
3. My parents forbid me from watching any movie with violence, including Lord of the Rings. They said it was “Two Towers” of carnage.
4. What do you call an elf who is a coffee addict? A Frotho Baggins.
5. Why couldn’t the pirate captain finish the Lord of the Rings trilogy? He kept trying to Aragorn it out.
6. I tried to cosplay as Gandalf, but my wig got caught on a ceiling fan. You could say my cosplay was Balrogged.
7. My doctor recommended that I watch Lord of the Rings as a stress reliever. He said it was a great way to take a Hobbit from stress.
8. Why did Sauron refuse to order takeout? Because one does not simply call Mordor.
9. I was playing a Lord of the Rings trivia game and accidentally answered a question wrong. You could say I was Sarumanhandled.
10. What do you call an orc who can’t stop telling lies? A Sarumander.
11. I told my friend that I could recite the whole Lord of the Rings script from memory. He said, “Prove it!”. So I pulled a Tolkien experience!
12. Why did the dwarf refuse to wear his helmet during the Battle of Five Armies? He said it was too Gimlipossible.
13. What do you get when you cross a hobbit with a deer? Legolamb.
14. My Lord of the Rings marathon party was a hit! It was definitely a Fellowship of the Screen.
15. Why did Sam keep dropping his gardening tools? Because he had butterfingers Baggins.
16. Gandalf asked Frodo if he needed any help carrying the One Ring. Frodo replied, “No thanks, I’ve got it tolkien care of”.
17. My girlfriend asked me if the Lord of the Rings movies were worth watching. I said, “Like the ring, they’re Precious”.
18. Why did Boromir keep showing off his shield during battles? Because he was trying to Boro-proud.
19. What do you call a grumpy Uruk-hai? An Orcward.
20. When Frodo and Sam arrived at the Black Gate, they saw a sign that read “All Hope Abandon, Ye Who Enter Here. Frodo replied, “I don’t think we’re in Moria anymore”.

Gollum Giggles (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. Why did Frodo hang out with Gandalf? Because he was his Fellowship!
2. How does Aragorn like his eggs cooked? Over Mordor-less.
3. What was Gollum’s favorite computer program? My Precious Word.
4. How do you know if Balrog is a good singer? He’s got flames in his eyes!
5. What do you call a malfunctioning hobbit? A Frodo glitch.
6. What do you get when you cross Legolas and Gimli? Legomy Eggo.
7. What do you call an elf that can’t sing? Orlando No-tune.
8. Why was the ring so fascinated by Frodo? He had a lot of hobititude.
9. What do you call a wizard who can’t do magic? Gandalf the Grey.
10. What did the orc say at the barbecue? This is some Mordor-in’ hot meat!
11. Why doesn’t Sauron wear socks? He has hobbit feet.
12. What do you call an elvish beekeeper? A honey-loving Glorfindel.
13. How does Gandalf get ideas for his spells? He has a wizard’s staff meetings.
14. Why was Legolas feeling sad? Because his bow had stringheaviness.
15. How do you make a hobbit stew? Put it on a Merry-go-round and throw in a Pippin!
16. What do you call it when Frodo loses his ring? A Tolkien tragedy.
17. What did the stormtroopers say during the battle of Helm’s Deep? These aren’t the swords you’re looking for!
18. Why couldn’t Gollum make it to the party? He was feeling Smeagol.
19. What do you call a hobbit who loves dance music? Fro-disco.
20. How do you know if an orc is lying? Its nose will always grow-lum.

One Ring to Rule Them All (Double Entendre Puns about Lord of the Rings)

1. Gimli might be short, but he still knows how to swing his axe.
2. Smeagol may have been all about that ring, but he’s not the only one chasing that precious.
3. Legolas knows how to draw his bow…and the ladies too.
4. The Two Towers? More like the Two HOURS discussing Frodo and Sam’s “journey.”
5. Gandalf always has a trick up his sleeve…or under his robe.
6. Aragorn is called the King of Men for a reason.
7. It’s not just Sam’s cooking that’s making Frodo hungry…
8. The Nazgul certainly know how to ride their winged beasts…and we’re not just talking about horses.
9. Bilbo’s got a ring a little too precious for anyone else to handle.
10. ‘Lord of the Rings’? More like ‘Lord of the Bling.’
11. Even Sauron’s evil eye can’t look away from a shapely hobbit.
12. Balrog may have a fiery whip, but we all know what he’s really compensating for.
13. Frodo may be small, but he’s got big…dreams.
14. Treebeard knows how to make a lady feel like a “sapling” again.
15. Shelob’s lair might seem like a torture chamber, but some people are into that sort of thing.
16. Eowyn proves that even a shieldmaiden needs a little loving, too.
17. The battle for Middle-earth was intense, but not as intense as the heat between Legolas and Aragorn.
18. To rule them all? More like to fool them all.
19. The One Ring may bring power, but it also brings…stamina.
20. Frodo and Sam got so close in their journey, they practically merged into one hobbit.

“J.R.R. Tolkien some Pun-tastic Fun: Lord of the Rings Idiom Puns!”

1. “I asked Legolas if he wanted to hear a joke, but he said he wood-knot.”
2. “I made a Tolkien error and called Frodo ‘Froyo’ – I guess I got my Middle Earth treats mixed up.”
3. Bilbo Baggins wasn’t a morning person, he always took second breakfast in bed.
4. When Gandalf fought the Balrog, he was really smoking hot.
5. “Sauron lost the One Ring – I guess he wasn’t Lord of the Rings after all.”
6. “The hobbits had a hard time getting through the Mines of Moria – it was a real dwarf-icult journey.”
7. Gollum was always fishing for compliments.
8. “When Frodo and Sam reached the end of their journey, you could say they were at their Mordor-less.”
9. “Legolas and Gimli had a fierce beard-growing competition – it was quite a hair-raising experience.”
10. “Aragorn was always fighting his way out of hairy situations.”
11. “Gimli was never short on puns – he always had a good one-liner in store.”
12. “When Frodo destroyed the Ring, it was a real Mount Doom moment.”
13. “The orc army was so big, you could say it was orc-ward.”
14. “When the Fellowship had to cross the river, they paddled their own canoe – or rather, elven boats.”
15. “Sauron really had a one-track mind – all he wanted was the One Ring.”
16. “When Legolas sees an opportunity to make a joke, he really arrowed in on it.”
17. “Gandalf always had a lightbulb moment when he used his staff as a torch.”
18. “Theoden wasn’t feeling well, you could say he horse-sick.”
19. “When Sam and Frodo got lost, they were really turned around – they were taking the hobbit way.”
20. “Even when the hobbits were feeling down, they never lost their hobbit-tude.”

“The One Pun to Rule Them All: Lord of the Rings Pun Juxtapositions”

1. Why did Sauron switch to Geico? To save Middle-earth dollars!
2. Did you hear about the hobbit that slept with his windows open? He caught Frodo.
3. Why did Gandalf the Grey turn into Gandalf the White? Because he needed a light-er shade of grey!
4. Gollum just got a job as an Uber driver. Riders beware: He’s known for taking the long precious route.
5. Are you talking to me or Sauron? Oh wait, One does not simply talk into Mordor…
6. A Balrog walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ” sorry, we don’t allow fiery creatures in this establishment.”
7. What do you call an orc that kicks field goals? A Sauron kicker.
8. How did Frodo manage to destroy the ring without any hur(G)gles? He walked (G)andalf it.
9. Why was Aragorn a bad storyteller? Because he Strider-ed on too long!
10. Why did the ring keep slipping off of Sauron’s finger? Because it was a bit slippery (precious).
11. Why did the dwarves refuse to ride in the carriage with Elrond? They just couldn’t get over his horse-and-elven carriage!
12. Why can’t hobbits ever get lost? They have GPS: Gandalf Positioning System.
13. What do you call an enchanting hobbit who loves “Hamilton”? Bilbo Wop.
14. What is Gandalf the Grey’s favorite instrument? A Fro-do-klil.
15. Frodo Baggins once got a job as a refuse collector, but he didn’t like taking the Gollum out.
16. Samwise Gamgee once made a commitment to reducing his waste. Now he’s officially the king of the reuse of Rohan.
17. Why did the elves choose to relocate to a new kingdom? Because their old land was Rivendull.
18. After Gandalf loses his pointy hat, he always has a be-hat-segment of finding it.
19. Why did Legolas always lose his archery competitions? He was armless!
20. Hobbit-london is the only underground where Gandalf can still smoke.

“Ring in the Laughs with Lord of the Rings Puns”

1. Bag End Bakery
2. The Prancing Pita
3. Mordor’s Mortar
4. Rivendell Rendezvous
5. Gandalf’s Gourmet Grill
6. Helm’s Deep Dish Pizza
7. Sauron’s Sour Alehouse
8. Frodo’s Froyo
9. Aragorn’s Arugula Salad
10. The Ring Pop Shop
11. Gollum’s Gourmet Gummies
12. Balrog Burger Bar
13. Legolas’ Lemonade Stand
14. Eowyn’s Enchanted Eggrolls
15. Rohan’s Rollin’ Wraps
16. Minas Tirith Tea Co.
17. Samwise’s Smoothie Shop
18. Ork’s Organic Garden
19. Galadriel’s Glazed Donuts
20. Pippin’s Pita Pocket

Tolkien in Tongue-Twisters (Spoonerisms)

1. “Bord of the lings”
2. “Rord of the blings”
3. “Hobbits and wirards”
4. “Wizards and hobbits”
5. “Gollum’s riddles and biddles”
6. “Middle Mearth”
7. “Sire of Londs”
8. “Frodo’s bling”
9. “Sauron’s might and bight”
10. “Aragon’s sword and ward”
11. “The Wraiths and Raiths”
12. “Moroder and Thoromund”
13. “Minas Tirith and Tinas Mirith”
14. Bilbo’s riddle and diddle
15. “Gandalf’s staff and daff”
16. “Merry and Pippin’s merriment and pippin’pleasure”
17. “The Rings of Pow and Rongs of Ping”
18. “Shire and hite”
19. “Eowyn’s courage and ourage cog Ewyn”
20. “Orcs and rock and socks and rucks”

Middle Earth Quips (Tom Swifties)

1. “I can’t wear this One Ring anymore,” said Frodo, resignedly.
2. “I can’t believe the sheer size of Mount Doom,” said Sam, volcanically.
3. “I wonder what Legolas is up to,” said Gimli, archerly.
4. “I refuse to be seen wearing Mithril armor,” said Aragorn, adamantly.
5. “I can sense the Eye of Sauron watching us,” said Gandalf, intently.
6. “I believe Gollum has gone off the deep end,” said Bilbo, wadingly.
7. “I need to fuel up for our journey,” said Pippin, hungry.
8. “I can’t wait to see the fiery depths of Mordor,” said Merry, excitedly.
9. “I can’t handle the weight of my sword,” said Boromir, heavily.
10. “I won’t let Sauron get his hands on the Ring,” said Arwen, passionately.
11. “I can’t decide which dwarf is my favorite,” said Legolas, conflictedly.
12. “I can’t stand using orc weapons,” said Eowyn, disgustedly.
13. “I can’t believe how much courage Frodo has,” said Sam, admiringly.
14. “I can’t tell if Sauron is being manipulative or genuine,” said Radagast, suspiciously.
15. “I can’t seem to find the right path,” said Faramir, lostly.
16. “I won’t let the orcs beat us down,” said Theodred, determinedly.
17. “I can’t believe how much Elvish has changed since my time,” said Galadriel, linguistically.
18. “I can’t wait for the day when we are free of Sauron’s evil presence,” said Gandalf, optimistically.
19. “I won’t let the Ents be cut down without a fight,” said Treebeard, woodenly.
20. “I can’t believe how much the hobbits have grown,” said Tom Bombadil, sizably.

Contradictory Wordplay: Lord of the Rings Puns

1. “What’s the best way to defeat a hobbit? Outrun them!”
2. “What do you call an orc with manners? A polite-raider.”
3. “Why did the Elf refuse to use the One Ring? He was anti-blinding.”
4. “What do you call a hobbit who’s also a wizard? A small medium at large.”
5. “Why did the ringwraith retire from chasing the ring? He was tired of being on a wild-ring chase.”
6. “What’s Gandalf’s favorite type of transportation? Magic-carpet-riders.”
7. “Why didn’t they take any gold from the Lonely Mountain? They thought it was dragon-protected.”
8. “What do you call a group of dwarves who love metal music? Iron-maidens.”
9. “What do you call a hobbit who’s impressed with himself? Narcisso Baggins.”
10. “Why did the Uruk-hai give up on fighting the Fellowship? They were too theFellowship of the un-ring.”
11. What’s the favorite sport in Mordor? Volcano-tennis.”
12. “Why did Frodo go on vacation? He wanted to put his feet up.”
13. “What do you call a hobbit with a great sense of direction? A hobbit-compass.”
14. “Why did the Balrog refuse to wear shoes? He wanted to keep his feet smokin’.”
15. “What’s the most difficult part of being a ringbearer? The ringcycle.”
16. “Why did the Nazgul need Viagra? They had trouble staying up all night.”
17. “What do you call a Hobbit who’s a bathroom attendant? A stall-ranger.”
18. “Why did the elf fall out of the tree? He was branching out.”
19. What’s the best way to travel through Mirkwood? By spider-pedal.”
20. “Why did Legolas refuse to use the One Ring? He had a bad elventh sense.”

Lord of the Rings-Lovin’ Laughs (Recursive Puns)

1. Why did Gandalf go to the amusement park? To ride the Roller-Tolkien.
2. What’s Frodo’s favorite genre of music? Hobbit-hop.
3. What’s the difference between Aragorn and a water slide? One’s a ranger in the strife, and the other’s a strife in the ranger.
4. What do you call an Elf who loves to sing? An Elfabet.
5. How do you get tickets to see the Lord of the Rings musical? Just give Bilbo a ring.
6. What did Gandalf say when he quit smoking? “I need to be Gand-healthy.”
7. Why isn’t Legolas good at cooking? He’s always elf-taught.
8. What did the Orc say when he got a job as a server? “Looks like I’m finally a Sauron.”
9. Why didn’t Sauron eat the Hobbit? He was too Gollum-phobic.
10. What do you get when you cross Gollum and an owl? A who-precious.
11. Why did Sam cross the road? To get to the Morder side.
12. What kind of car does a hobbit drive? A Frodorunner.
13. What do you call a dwarf who’s bad at math? Gimli-math.
14. How did Legolas become a skilled archer? He practiced elf-help.
15. Why did the One Ring break up with Sauron? It said they had irreconcilable elf-differences.
16. Why couldn’t the Balrog get a date? It had a fiery personality.
17. What do you call an Orc with a sense of humor? A saurcasm.
18. What do you get when you cross an Ent with a GPS? A Tree-POI.
19. Why did Frodo refuse to use Google Maps? He didn’t want to be Mordorized.
20. How do you get to the Undying Lands? Just follow the elf-tickles.

Ring in the Laughs with Lord of the Rings Puns (Puns on LOTR Cliches)

1. “One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness, bind them…to my waist belt.”
2. “All is fair in love and war, except stealing the One Ring while Frodo’s not looking.”
3. You can lead a hobbit to Mordor, but you can’t make him throw the ring in the fire.
4. “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, except for Gollum, who needs to stay far away from me.”
5. “A wizard is never late, Frodo Baggins. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to, and that’s usually after second breakfast.”
6. “Speak softly and carry a big stick… or a glowing sword that can defeat the Dark Lord.”
7. “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, or a fellowship of unlikely companions.”
8. “When in doubt, follow the stars. Unless you’re in Mordor, then follow the lava.”
9. “There’s more than one way to skin a cat, but there’s only one way to destroy the One Ring.”
10. When life gives you lemons, make lemon cake and share it with your fellow hobbits.
11. “When the going gets tough, the tough get going, or in Frodo’s case, the tough get Sam to carry them.”
12. “Time heals all wounds, except for the emotional scars of losing Boromir.”
13. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Unless you’re trying to destroy the Ring with an eagle, then you’ll just get shot down.
14. “All that glitters is not gold, except for the treasure of the dwarves hidden in the Lonely Mountain of Erebor.”
15. “The early bird gets the worm, but the Dark Lord Sauron gets the eye of Sauron.”
16. “When one door closes, another opens, or in Gandalf’s case, when one Balrog falls, another rises.”
17. “You can’t judge a book by its cover, but you can judge an orc by its smell.”
18. Laughter is the best medicine, except when you’re being chased by the Nazgul.
19. “Actions speak louder than words, except when those words are ‘You shall not pass!'”
20. “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, unless you’re surrounded by a fellowship of heroic hobbits, elves, dwarves, and men.”

In conclusion, we hope you had a delightful time discovering the epic pun collection inspired by the beloved world of Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings. From Frodo to Gandalf, we’ve got you covered with more than 200 hilarious puns that will have you laughing like a jolly hobbit. We encourage you to explore our website for more punny content, and we appreciate your visit. Until next time, stay pun-spired!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.