220 Witty Newspaper Puns for Your Daily Dose of Humor: Read all about it!

Punsteria Team
newspaper puns

Extra! Extra! Read all about it! If you’re in need of a laughter-filled read, we’ve got you covered with over 200 witty newspaper puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone. From headlines that will make you chuckle to clever wordplay that will leave you grinning, our collection of puns is perfect for injecting some humor into your daily routine. Whether you’re a news junkie or just in need of a good laugh, these newspaper puns are sure to make your day brighter. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and prepare to be entertained by the comical world of headlines and articles. Let the laughter begin!

Making Headlines: The Best Newspaper Puns! (Editors Pick)

1. Why did the newspaper go to the dentist? For a daily cleaning!
2. The newspaper editor was feeling under the weather, so she tried a headline remedy.
3. I bought a new newspaper and it immediately gave me bad news. It was tear-ible!
4. Did you hear about the newspaper that fell in love? It said it had “headlines” over heels!
5. When the newspaper was feeling chilly, it made headlines by wearing a print jacket.
6. A newspaper company had trouble getting new customers, so they decided to “paper”-chase.
7. I saw a newspaper wearing sunglasses. Turns out, it wanted to be called “The Daily Shade.”
8. The newspaper reporter loved keeping track of birds. You could say it was his “tweet” of the trade.
9. Why did the newspaper blush? It saw the comic strip and thought it was really “punny.”
10. The newspaper determined it was time for a change, so it went on a “front page” diet.
11. What genre of music do newspapers love? “Headline” and bass!
12. The newspaper went to the gym to get in shape because it wanted to be “well red.
13. I found a hidden message in the newspaper; it must be full of “sub-headlines.”
14. Why did the newspaper need new glasses? It couldn’t “focus” on the stories.
15. The newspaper phoned in a problem to customer service, but they said it needed to be “delivered” in person.
16. Why did the newspaper get an award? It was “extra ink-redible!”
17. The newspaper married a fashion magazine, and their wedding was headline news.
18. The newspaper became a comedian and had an “ink-credible” sense of humor.
19. A group of newspapers teamed up for a race by creating a “head-to-head” competition.
20. I misplaced my newspaper subscription, so now I need to “track” it down.

Times of Laughs (Newspaper Puns)

1. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
2. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
3. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
4. Whenever I get a new newspaper, I always check the obituaries first. If I’m not in there, I go ahead and have breakfast.
5. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
6. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know Y.
7. I was gonna tell a newspaper joke… but it’s kinda tearable.
8. I started a band called 999 Megabytes. We still haven’t gotten a gig.
9. I own a pencil that used to belong to Shakespeare. But it doesn’t write anymore. It’s pretty much pencil-vania.
10. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I just can’t seem to put it down.
11. I was going to tell you a joke about newspapers… but I decided to fold.
12. I tried to organize an all-newspaper band, but nobody showed up. I guess they all got lost in the classifieds.
13. I used to be a baker, but then I couldn’t make enough dough.
14. I had a joke about the newspaper, but I lost the classifieds on my notes.
15. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
16. I got over my addiction to reading the newspaper. It was in black and white.
17. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
18. I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
19. I started a new business, but it kept folding.
20. Reading the newspaper every morning really helps start my day off with a headline.

Creative Columns (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. Why was the newspaper so calm? Because it had a lot of issues!
2. What did one newspaper say to the other? “I’m glad we’re still in print, we make a great pair!”
3. Why did the newspaper go to therapy? It couldn’t stop focusing on the headlines!
4. Why did the newspaper start feeling lonely? It couldn’t find any good news!
5. What did the newspaper say when it won an award? “This is headline news!”
6. Why did the newspaper bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to reach the top stories!
7. How do newspapers stay in shape? They exercise their headlines!
8. What’s a newspaper’s favorite type of music? The “Press” (Jazz)!
9. Why did the newspaper file a police report? It was reporting a headline crime!
10. How do newspapers greet each other in the morning? With a “Newsflash!”
11. What did the insecure newspaper say to its readers? “I really value your ink-put!”
12. Why did the newspaper become friends with the scissor? Because they were always cutting edge!
13. How do you make a newspaper dance? Put a little boogie in it!
14. What’s a newspaper’s favorite baseball team? The “New York Newsies”!
15. Why don’t newspapers have breakfast? They’re always on a fast!
16. How do newspapers exercise their muscles? They do a lot of press-ups!
17. What did one newspaper say to the other in a competition? “May the best headline win!”
18. Why do newspapers always carry umbrellas? In case of a “rain” of information!
19. What did the newspaper say to the journalist? “You’re my inkredible news source!”
20. Why did the newspaper start a band? It wanted to make some headline-worthy music!

Extra! Extra! Read all about it: Witty Wordplay (Double Entendre Puns)

1. Did you hear about the journalist who got stuck in a paper jam? He really had to get his headline straight.
2. I wanted to be a newspaper editor, but they told me it was a press-ing job.
3. The journalist knew how to make headlines and break hearts, he had a way with inked words.
4. The columnists at that newspaper had a way of making the front page news…if you know what I mean.
5. The editor was accused of having an affair with the headline, but he claimed it was just a catchy quote.
6. When the journalist saw the scandalous story, he simply exclaimed, “That’s some front page material!”
7. The journalist couldn’t hold back his excitement, he always had a headline of his own up his sleeve.
8. The editor had a way with tobacco pipes. He believed in puff pieces.
9. The printer always had a knack for spreading ink, he couldn’t resist the temptation of making a dirty print.
10. I heard the newspaper delivered a risqué story last night, it was quite a titillating read.
11. The journalist had a reputation for getting off on the wrong foot, nothing like a byline to stumble upon.
12. The headline editor was known for his cheeky approach, always finding a way to expose something.
13. They say the newspaper office is full of innuendos, a hot bed of double meanings, if you will.
14. The journalist believed in the power of the written word, especially when it came to seduction.
15. The sports section of the newspaper always managed to put a provocative twist on the games.
16. The newspaper photographer always had an eye for capturing the intimate details, a real lens-sational talent.
17. Breaking news: the newspaper scandal was just a result of a misunderstanding, it was all about the headlines.
18. The journalist was known for her creative writing, always managing to slip in a little naughty prose.
19. The newspaper competition was fierce and cut-throat… they sure knew how to make headlines of their own.
20. The newspaper editor loved a good expose, whether on public or private matters.

Newspaper Nonsense (Puns in Print)

1. I heard the newspaper industry is going through rough “papyrus” right now.
2. As a journalist, I’m always in the “headlines.”
3. The editor was fired for making too many paper “cuts.”
4. The newspaper office is notorious for its “headline” grabbing stories.
5. Reading the newspaper can be a real “press”ure.
6. The journalist was always eager to “break” the story.
7. The editor always “columns” the shots in the newsroom.
8. The newspaper employees were always “headline” in the right direction.
9. The newsroom was full of “ink”redible stories.
10. Being a journalist involves “news”-ing your way around.
11. The reporter was “newspaper”ate about getting the story right.
12. The newspaper staff was always down-to-“print.”
13. The editor always had a “print”-ed copy ready to go.
14. The journalist was “torn” between different story angles.
15. The reporter was always “scripting” the headlines.
16. The newspaper business can be quite “press”tigious.
17. The journalist won’t go “off the record” without a “sheet” of paper.
18. The editor always had a way of making the newsroom “fold.”
19. The newspaper business can be quite “black and white.”
20. The journalist was always “delivered” the latest news.

Headline Scoop (Pun Juxtaposition): Extra! Extra! Puns Delivered Fresh off the Press!

1. The paperboy got a traffic ticket for not delivering news on time.
2. The newspaper typo caused a huge comedy of errors during a serious court case.
3. I became a journalist because I have a way with words, especially when they’re jumbled.
4. The newspaper editor quit because he couldn’t handle the headlines anymore.
5. The reporter felt overwhelmed by all the pressing deadlines.
6. The journalist had a knack for catching headlines, but not baseballs.
7. Printing a newspaper is costly, but not reading it could cost you valuable knowledge.
8. The journalist’s interview with the famous artist turned into a sketchy situation.
9. The newspaper headline read: “Water shortage leads to social media overflow.”
10. A newspaper company with a sense of humor constantly prints “Breaking News” stories.
11. The journalist won the pun contest hands down, proving he had a way with words.
12. The reporter couldn’t help but delve into the news, even during their vacation.
13. The cartoonist’s illustration of the paper’s publisher caused quite a stirfall.
14. The journalist’s coffee addiction made them the perfect candidate for brewing headlines.
15. The news anchor felt offbeat after reading a bunch of musical headlines.
16. The newspaper company faced bankruptcy due to excessive “burning the midnight oil” idioms.
17. The journalist specialized in covering aquatic events, always diving into newsworthy stories.
18. The editor-in-chief’s desk was covered in messy papers, a perfect reflection of their chaotic profession.
19. The sports section printed an article about a marathon runner who only took breaks for breakfast.
20. The newspaper columnist had a knack for political satire, always making readers cast their votes for laughter.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! (Newspaper Puns)

1. Inkaholics Anonymous – a support group for newspaper addicts
2. Headline Hounds – a group of avid newspaper readers
3. Pressed for Time – a newspaper that’s always on a tight deadline
4. The Daily Grind – a coffee shop located in a newspaper office
5. Extra! Extra! Eateries – restaurants with newspapers as tablecloths
6. Scoop D’jour – a French restaurant with a newspaper-themed menu
7. Crossword Café – a coffee shop with daily crossword puzzles on every table
8. Breaking Brews – a coffee shop that serves news-themed beverages
9. The Front Page – a newspaper-inspired bar with front pages as wall decor
10. Bylines & Bites – a café where reporters grab a quick bite between stories
11. Press Pause – a newspaper-themed spa for journalists in need of relaxation
12. The Classified Chews – a restaurant with menus disguised as classified ads
13. Editor’s Notes – a wine bar where journalists come to unwind after work
14. The Letterpress – a newspaper-themed bookstore with a coffee shop inside
15. Brews Flash – a trendy coffee shop known for its lightning-fast service
16. Ink It Up – a tattoo parlor with newspaper-inspired designs
17. Tabloid Tacos – a Mexican restaurant with a playful newspaper aesthetic
18. Morning Glories – a breakfast cafe that serves morning papers with meals
19. Rough Draft – a pub where journalists drink and swap story ideas
20. Breaking Breves – a coffee shop that serves espresso shots named after breaking news stories

Newsprint Nonsense (Spoonerisms)

1. A tough gig for new downcasts.
2. A sappy columnist who’s often lost in words.
3. A nosy situation at the local newspaper office.
4. A daring announcement turned into wailing and dancing.
5. A boring story made into a snoring bory.
6. A scoop of falt and flurious news.
7. An article about the world’s fattest burgerer.
8. A sports report turned into a torts resort.
9. A report on a supernatural phenomenon turned into “the tails of ghosting.”
10. A wannabe reporter who’s always muddled in vice words.
11. A bewildering paper roll turned into a twirling rap pole.
12. A mysterious headline that became a delirious minehead.
13. A front-page story about a giant wormson dedicated to the world of alart.
14. A political scandal titled “The Blunder of Rankers.”
15. A story about a shining star who became a waning scar.
16. A crossword puzzle turned into a prose word puzzle.
17. A photographer’s success turned into a potographer’s succeff.
18. A joke column titled “Why did the rice cross the street?”
19. A report on the dangers of technology titled “Disadvantages of Fax Tones.”
20. A front-page headline about a famous singer becoming a hairless finger.

Ink-redibly Punny Newspaper Quips (Tom Swifties)

1. “I prefer the morning paper,” Tom said aMUSEDly.
2. “I’ve just read an article about the printing press,” Tom said impressively.
3. “I always find the crossword puzzle so challenging,” Tom said puzzledly.
4. “I think I’ll cancel my subscription,” Tom said decidedly.
5. “I need to find a job at the paper,” Tom said urgently.
6. “I can’t help but skim through the headlines,” Tom said superficially.
7. “I won’t believe what’s in the paper until I read it,” Tom stated in disbelief.
8. “This newspaper is full of gossip,” Tom said scandalously.
9. “I only read the sports section,” Tom said sportingly.
10. “I always check the horoscope for a good laugh,” Tom said predictably.
11. “I’m a journalist, so I always make headlines,” Tom said newsworthy.
12. “This story is so captivating, it’s making headlines,” Tom said captivated.
13. “I’m considering a career change to reporting,” Tom said newsy.
14. “I can’t find the paper, it must’ve gone missing,” Tom said lost.
15. “I find reading the paper to be a newsance,” Tom said annoyedly.
16. “I just read an article about a secret society,” Tom said confidentially.
17. “I’m always searching for breaking news,” Tom said actively.
18. “I prefer a newspaper with colorful illustrations,” Tom said vividly.
19. “I love reading the obituaries, they’re so deathly entertaining,” Tom said morbidly.
20. “I can’t decide between the daily or the Sunday paper,” Tom said weakly.

Baffling Headline Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)

1. Breaking news: “Old news” is actually new again!
2. Newspaper classifieds: All the ads fit to print!
3. Headline alert: Dull newspaper writer receives Pulitzer Prize!
4. Exclusive story: “Banana peels now considered a serious threat to society.”
5. Breaking news: The newspaper industry experiences an unexpected surge in trees planting themselves.
6. Local newspaper reports: Silence is golden, but opinions are even better!
7. Reporter’s dilemma: Is it possible to write a headline without using any words?
8. Breaking news: Famous comic strip reveals deep existential crisis!
9. Front page story: Sleep experts recommend staying awake for better rest.
10. Breaking news: Weather forecast predicts a fiery snowstorm!
11. Crime report: In a bizarre twist, notorious thief returns stolen item along with an apology note.
12. Exclusive interview: Mute interviewee speaks volumes without uttering a word!
13. Breaking news: Newspaper production halted due to ink shortage.
14. Filler article: Blank page captivates readers with its mysterious allure.
15. Headline alert: Newspaper readership declines cause surge in paper manufacturing.
16. Breaking news: Words found guilty of talking behind people’s backs!
17. Local newspaper report: Town square hosts silent auction with extravagant hand gestures.
18. Front page story: Ghostwriter wins prestigious writing award.
19. Breaking news: Newspaper headline proclaims “No news is great news!”
20. Exclusive exposé: Ordinary newspaper reveals its secret superhero identity.

Extra! Extra! Recursive Puns Extraordinarily Deliver Newspaper Laughter!

1. Did you hear about the journalist who was turned into a vampire? He got a taste for blood and ink-redible stories.
2. Why did the news editor bring a ladder to work? He always wanted to climb the ranks.
3. I bought a new copy of the newspaper, but it seems there’s a mistake. Every page has the same headline, “Extra! Extra!”
4. I tried to read the newspaper while riding a bicycle, but I quickly realized it was a cyclical process.
5. I made paper hats out of old newspapers. Now I have headlines on my head, making me quite news-worthy.
6. Why did the newspaper hire a motivational speaker? It wanted to boost its circulation.
7. My friend told me he puts his newspaper in the freezer. He said it’s his way of keeping up with the current events.
8. I asked the newspaper delivery person if reading the news made them dizzy. They replied, “No, but the headlines do leave me spinning!
9. I told my friend that the newspaper just ran a story about beavers. He asked if it was a dam good read.
10. The newspaper editor always carries a shovel around. He spends all his time digging up stories.
11. Why did the newspaper reporter always carry an umbrella? To protect himself from the storm of breaking news.
12. I tried to solve a crossword puzzle in the newspaper, but it was puzzlingly recursive. Every clue led to another clue that referred back to the first one.
13. The newspaper headline read, “Coffee drinker wins lottery!” Turns out it was just grounds for celebration.
14. I told my friend the newspaper’s popularity was spreading like wildfire. They asked if it was front-page news.
15. I decided to start a newspaper dedicated solely to puns. It’s called “The Daily Pun-dit.”
16. I asked my friend if they were ever involved in a newspaper scandal. They replied, “Never, I always keep my headlines clean!”
17. My friend refused to believe that the newspaper industry was declining. They said it was just a bunch of ink-redulous rumors.
18. The newspaper had a section on gardening, but it was just a bunch of plant propaganda.
19. The newspaper’s astrology section predicted that I’d be reading their paper. They must be following me!
20. I saw a headline in the newspaper that said, “Local artist arrested for forgery.” If only they had read the fine print!

Extra! Extra! Puns Galore: Breaking News on Newspaper Puns

1. “Extra, extra! Read all about it! These puns are worth the headlines.”
2. “The newspaper editor had a lot on his plate, but he couldn’t pull out the sports section.”
3. “I tried to make a newspaper hat, but it just didn’t make headlines.”
4. “The journalist’s printer broke, but it’s okay, he had a backup source.”
5. “The newspaper columnist was feeling down, so he went for a headline massage.”
6. “I submitted my puns to the newspaper, but they ended up in the classified laughs.”
7. “The journalist quit his job at the newspaper because he couldn’t handle the ink-stress.”
8. “My newspaper delivery person is always running late, I guess they’re on the slow news cycle.”
9. “The newspaper’s crossword section was quite challenging, it really got my mind-over-matters.”
10. “I was framed, but luckily I made the front page of the newspaper.”
11. “The newspaper’s meteorologist was always spot on, they really had a knack of making headlines.”
12. “The newspaper headline read, ‘New study finds coffee can perk up your mornings and brew the best puns.'”
13. “I tried to impress my friends with a newspaper pun, but they just brushed it off as column sense.”
14. “The newspaper intern got promoted to editor because they always made headlines for their punny articles.”
15. “I told my dad a newspaper joke, he called it headline abuse.”
16. The journalist couldn’t find an angle for his article, he was stuck in a punny loop.
17. “The newspaper artist always made a splash with their headlines, they were headline-makers!”
18. “I thought of a great newspaper pun at midnight, but I couldn’t find a news outlet open.”
19. “I saw a headline that said ‘Newsflash: Puns are the new black!’ I guess they’re always in style.”
20. “The newspaper stands are always full with the latest news, but they can’t handle my punny headlines!”

In conclusion, we hope these 200+ witty newspaper puns brightened your day and added a dose of humor to your routine! If you’re hungry for more jokes and puns, be sure to check out our website for a plethora of pun-tastic content. Thank you for taking the time to visit, and remember, laughter is always the headline of a great day!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.