Are you ready to break the ice and have some fun? Look no further than these 200+ irresistible hockey puns that are sure to score you some laughs and smiles. From slapstick jokes to witty one-liners, this collection has it all. Whether you’re a die-hard hockey fan or just looking to add some humor to your day, these puns will have you cheering from the stands. So, put on your skates and get ready to glide through these ice-melting quips. Get ready to break the ice and laugh your way to victory with these ultimate hockey puns!
Slapstick Laughter: Our Favorite Hockey Puns! (Editors Pick)
1. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a hockey player? Frostbite.
2. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? She kept saying he only wanted to score.
3. Why did the hockey arena get hot during the game? Because all the fans left.
4. How did the hockey player quit smoking? He left the cigarettes in the penalty box.
5. What do hockey players and magicians have in common? They both do hat tricks.
6. Why did the hockey player refuse to wear stripes? He didn’t want to be mistaken for a referee.
7. How do hockey players stay cool during the game? They wear ice caps.
8. Why do hockey players love math? Because they’re always trying to calculate their angles.
9. What did the referee say to the hockey player who wouldn’t stop checking him out? “Icing on the creep!”
10. Why did the chicken go to the hockey game? To see a power play.
11. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? He wanted to tie the score.
12. How does a hockey player stick up for himself? By keeping his guard up.
13. What do hockey players say when they get hurt? “Icing on the injury!”
14. Why don’t hockey players travel by airplane? They prefer the ice surface.
15. Why was the hockey coach a terrible carpenter? Because every time he saw a nail, he wanted to hammer it in the net.
16. What did the hockey player say when he got a penalty for fighting? It was just a slap shot!
17. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder onto the ice? He wanted to reach the high stick.
18. How do you know if a hockey player is out of money? He’s lost his Zamboni.
19. What do you get when you cross a hockey player and a sailor? A puck captain.
20. Why do hockey players prefer to dye their hair blue? To match the color of their bruises.
Breaking the Ice: Hilarious Hockey Puns (One-liner Quips)
1. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score!
2. Did you hear about the hockey team that always had bad luck? They were always on the ice when the floods came!
3. Why did the hockey player get in trouble on the school bus? Because he was high-sticking!
4. What is a hockey player’s favorite vegetable? The stick-pea!
5. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? Because he always had the puck!
6. Why are hockey teams bad at playing cards? Because they always try to break up the suits!
7. What is a hockey player’s favorite dessert? Stick-y pudding!
8. Why did the ice hockey team go to the bank? To get their ice check!
9. How do hockey players stay cool during a game? They sit next to the fans!
10. Why did the hockey player go to jail? He was caught cross-checking!
11. Why do hockey players always wear jerseys? So they can stay in the playoff-sphere!
12. What is a hockey player’s favorite office supply? The blue line-er!
13. Why are hockey goalies always happy? Because they’re always in their crease!
14. Why do hockey players always bring extra socks to the game? In case they get lost in the corner!
15. Did you hear about the hockey player who stole the ice? He got a life sentence!
16. Why did the hockey player’s girlfriend break up with him? Because he was always icing her out!
17. How do you recognize a great hockey player? By his skill at stick handling!
18. Why did the hockey player bring a ladder to the game? Because he wanted to reach new heights!
19. What is a hockey player’s favorite vegetable? Ice-berg lettuce!
20. Why did the hockey player refuse to take a break? Because he didn’t want to skate on thin ice!
Pucks and Punchlines (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. Why did the hockey player break up with his girlfriend? Because she was a puck-tease.
2. Why was the hockey game so hot? Because the fans left on all the ice.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was out-standing in his field.
4. Why did the hockey player take his skates to the bank? To get his free checking.
5. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
6. Why did the hockey player bring string to the game? Because he wanted to tie the score.
7. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
8. Why did the hockey player refuse to wear his skates? Because he didn’t want to be iced out.
9. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
10. Why did the hockey player go to the bank? To get a checking account.
11. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
12. Why did the hockey team hire a dead battery? Because they needed a charge.
13. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? Because it ran out of juice.
14. Why did the hockey player join the military? To see action on and off the ice.
15. Why did the bread go to jail? Because it needed to be kneaded.
16. Why did the hockey goalie refuse to get back on the ice? Because he was a little crease-y.
17. Why were the cheerleaders so good at hockey games? Because they knew how to ice-olate the crowd.
18. Why did the mushroom get invited to all the parties? Because he was a fungi to be around.
19. Why did the hockey player spend all his money on insulation for his house? Because he wanted to stay ice-olated.
20. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired.
Puck-tastic Wordplay (Double Entendre Puns on Hockey)
1. “I always go for the five-hole, if you know what I mean.”
2. “I’m not afraid to drop the gloves.”
3. “I love to slap it around on the ice.”
4. “He really knows how to stickhandle.”
5. “I got a penalty for high-sticking.”
6. I like my game like I like my coffee: full of fights.
7. “I can handle two minutes in the box.”
8. “I always put my stick in the right place.”
9. “I’ve got a mean backhand.”
10. “He really knows how to use his stick.”
11. “I never back down from a good poke check.”
12. “I’m always looking for an open net.”
13. “He really knows how to score.”
14. “I love to score from the slot.”
15. “The key to success is a good stick length.
16. “I’m always ready for an offensive rush.”
17. “I like to hit it hard and fast.”
18. “I love to play rough in the corners.”
19. “I’m a master of the wraparound.”
20. “I’ll do whatever it takes to score.”
Ice-Capades: Punny Hockey Idioms
1. “I’m a big fan of hockey, it really puck-ers me up.”
2. “Why is the hockey rink always so cold? Because of all the ice-olation.”
3. “I’m only watching this game for the ice cap-ades.”
4. “My hockey skills are on thin ice.”
5. He really stick-handled his way out of that one.
6. “Icing on the cake, let’s go win this hockey game!”
7. “The hockey team was on thin ice after their first loss.”
8. “I hate to break it to you, but your hockey game needs a power-play.”
9. “He was slap-shot out of luck on that one.”
10. “The hockey team had a hat-trick of victories.”
11. “Stick to the game plan, we need to score a goal pronto.”
12. “They had a face-off to decide who would take the penalty.”
13. The game was so intense, the players were skating on thin ice.
14. “We’re losing so badly, it feels like we’re skating uphill.”
15. “They need to break the ice to start scoring goals.”
16. The goalie was a brick wall in the last game.
17. “Our team is really starting to hit their stride on the ice.”
18. “We need to follow through on this power-play and score a goal.”
19. “It’s all about teamwork, that’s why they call it a hock-ey.”
20. “He really went for the check, but ended up taking a penalty for rough hockey.”
Stick it to Them: Puck-tastic Hockey Puns Galore (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. I used to play hockey, but I kept getting board.
2. The hockey team was on thin ice, but they managed to win anyway.
3. The goalie always had a stick to his routine.
4. The coach was so furious he almost throw ice.
5. We need some new players, the team is ice-olated.
6. I’m always a-frost when I watch ice hockey.
7. I heard the Zamboni driver was quite clean cut.
8. She the puck was magic, it disappeared on ice sight.
9. The hockey announcer got a job offer he couldn’t skating refuse.
10. The team was just skating by, but then they scored.
11. I tried to get a job at the ice rink, but I couldn’t find an opening.
12. I got all my hockey gear from the penalty box.
13. The new hockey coach was a real icebreaker.
14. When the opposing team showed up, the hockey players felt chills down their back.
15. The player left the rink with a smile on his face; he had a puck-er up.
16. The goalie hit a bad patch of ice and slipped right through the crease.
17. The hockey player was told to slow down, but he just kept skating at break-neck speeds.
18. I can’t believe hockey games are so snowcial.
19. The best way to stop a goalie from snoring is to wake him puck.
20. Hockey pun-meister, please hit us with a goalie lock of top-notch puns.
Puck-tastic Names: The Best Hockey Puns!
1. Wayne Gritzky (Wayne Gretzky)
2. Ice Tretzky (Ice Hockey)
3. Zamboni Mani (Zamboni Machine)
4. Shaq-ic O’Neal (Shaq-ic=Hockey stick)
5. Hat Trick Swan (Hat Trick)
6. Pavel Bureka (Pavel Bure)
7. Broad Street Boogaard (Derek Boogaard)
8. Bobby Orr-ganic (Bobby Orr)
9. The Great One-liner (Wayne Gretzky)
10. Lord Stanley’s Cupcake (Stanley Cup)
11. The Puck Stops Here-ald (Herald)
12. Tim Horton Hears a Hoo (Tim Horton)
13. Jacques from the Block (Jacques Plante)
14. Phil Kessel Run (Phil Kessel)
15. Corey Score-dor (Corey Schneider)
16. Hockey McEnroe (John McEnroe)
17. Jaromir Swoopr (Jaromir Jagr)
18. Alexander the Great Skate (Alexander Ovechkin)
19. Eddie Goalender (Eddie Goldie)
20. Gordie Howe Tower (Gordie Howe)
Puck-er Up for Some Hilarious Hickey Humor (Spoonerisms)
1. Ducky Hakes
2. Puck Foston Ruins
3. Ice Bockey
4. Rodie Tuff
5. Canada Hat Trick
6. Net Crease Hurdles
7. Hockey Poes
8. Pen Twoalties
9. Stick Raff
10. Rink Feferee
11. Playurr Hault
12. Zamboni Tiding
13. Win Giddings
14. Coakies Mash
15. Blue Shirts Fights
16. Hipchecks Geeks
17. Arena Mudge
18. Skate Blades Fakes
19. Slap Shot Hot Spots
20. Score Shot Core Shots
Score Some Laughs with These Punny Hockey Jokes (Tom Swifties)
1. “I can’t wait to hit the ice,” said Tom, “puckishly.”
2. “I scored the game-winning goal,” said Tom, “stickily.”
3. “I’m really good at passing,” said Tom, “puckishly.”
4. “I’m always getting checked,” said Tom, “checkedly.”
5. “I never give up on a shot,” said Tom, “goal-orientedly.”
6. “I love playing goalie,” said Tom, “net-net.”
7. “I’m the fastest skater on the team,” said Tom, “skate-rapidly.”
8. “I’m always ready to fight on the ice,” said Tom, “pugilistically.”
9. “I have great aim with the puck,” said Tom, “puck-accurately.”
10. “I always go for the slapshot,” said Tom, “shotgun-style.”
11. “I’m not afraid to take a hit,” said Tom, “hit-tough.”
12. “I love going for the hat trick,” said Tom, “hat-trickily.”
13. “I always play with my head up,” said Tom, “headingly.”
14. “I’m always looking for a chance to score,” said Tom, “opportunely.”
15. “I can handle the pressure of a shootout,” said Tom, “shootout-steadily.”
16. “I don’t mind being in the penalty box,” said Tom, “penalty-boxily.”
17. “I’m always making big saves,” said Tom, “save-heroically.”
18. “I never let the puck get past me,” said Tom, “puck-less.”
19. “I have great endurance on the ice,” said Tom, “endurance-ly.”
20. “I always keep my stick on the ice,” said Tom, “stick-on-the-icely.”
Icy Irony: Oxymoronic Puns on Hockey
1. Why did the hockey player bring a hammer to the game? He wanted to nail it.
2. The goalie was feeling jumbo-shrimp-sized after making a save.
3. The forward was cold-hot after scoring the winning goal.
4. The team captain was pretty ugly-beautiful on the ice.
5. The puck had a bitter-sweet taste to it.
6. The players were deafeningly silent during the national anthem.
7. The arena was crowded with empty seats.
8. The coach was speechless but still managed to say something.
9. The game was a fast-paced snooze-fest.
10. The ice was burning cold.
11. The defense was aggressively passive.
12. The player was a giant shrimp.
13. The referee made a fair bad call.
14. The game was a win-loss-draw for both teams.
15. The game-winning goal was a tragic-comedy.
16. The player was a clear-mistake.
17. The penalty box was a peaceful riot.
18. The commentator’s voice was a whispering scream.
19. The stick was a heavy feather.
20. The coach’s strategy was a controlled chaos.
Hockey Puckster (Recursive Puns)
1. Did you hear about the hockey player who got lost in the forest? He ended up icing his way back to civilization.
2. Why did the hockey puck go to the doctor? It felt a little board.
3. I tell ice hockey puns, but they usually just slide past people.
4. Why don’t hockey players like to drink tea? Because they prefer to stay on ice.
5. What kind of lights do hockey players use when they study? Penalty box lights.
6. Why did the hockey player become a piano player? Because he liked the sound of slap shots.
7. Why did the hockey team decide to have a dinner party? So they could pass the gravy.
8. What happens when a hockey player buys too much ice cream? They end up with a spoon penalty.
9. Did you hear about the hockey player who bought a plant? He wanted to sit it on the blue line.
10. Why did the hockey player get a job as a detective? He wanted to solve the mystery of the missing puck.
11. What do you call a hockey player who can’t stop cleaning? A blue line scrub.
12. Why was the hockey player always so calm? He had ice in his veins.
13. What did the hockey coach say when his team won the championship? “It was a nice icing on the cake.”
14. Did you hear about the hockey player who went to the dentist? He lost his filling, but he still had his teeth.
15. Why was the hockey team so surprised to see a zebra on the ice? They thought they were playing soccer.
16. What do hockey players do when they’re scared? They shoot the puck and skate away fast.
17. Why do hockey players like to build snowmen? So they can check ’em.
18. What do you call a hockey player who’s always on time? A punctual checker.
19. Did you hear about the hockey player who couldn’t find his helmet? He was feeling a little short-sticked.
20. Why did the hockey player get a job as an astronomer? He wanted to shoot for the stars and the five-hole.
Stickin’ to the Classics: Punny Hockey Clichés
1. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but you also miss them if you’re a terrible player.
2. Hockey players have sticks and pucks, but some say they have a screw loose.
3. A good hockey player has a lot of ice in their veins.
4. Hockey is a lot like chess, but with more punches than pawns.
5. A good defense is the best offense, unless you’re a goalie.
6. The ice hockey rink is the coolest place to be.
7. Keep your eyes on the puck unless you’re a referee, then keep your eyes on the players.
8. If you can’t beat them, stick check them.
9. The only thing better than going top shelf is going top cheddar.
10. Hockey is a game of inches, but also goals and assists.
11. Skating circles around the competition isn’t just for figure skaters.
12. When it comes to hockey, there’s no such thing as a one-timer too many.
13. The best thing about hockey is the sound of the puck hitting the net.
14. Some people say hockey is just a bunch of empty netters, but they’re just bitter.
15. It’s hard to be a puck bunny when you’re allergic to fur.
16. If you’re not scoring, you’re not trying hard enough – unless you’re a goalie, then you’re probably doing just fine.
17. Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing, unless you’re playing for fun.
18. Hockey players have a lot of heart, but they need their lungs to keep up with the pace.
19. Hockey is a great sport, but it’s even better when it’s played on frozen water.
20. The best way to win a game is to leave it all out on the ice, unless you’re playing for the Stanley Cup, then you might want to save a little bit for overtime.
In conclusion, whether you’re a die-hard hockey fan or just looking for a good laugh, these 200+ irresistible hockey puns are sure to score big with everyone! Hopefully, these ice-melting jokes have brought a smile to your face and unleashed your inner comedian. If you’re keen on exploring more puns, be sure to check out our website for a pun-tastic experience. Thank you for taking the time to visit, and happy punning!
