Get ready to laugh your way through Westeros with our collection of over 200 pun-tastic Game of Thrones jokes! Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just a casual viewer, these puns will have you chuckling like Tyrion Lannister at a wine tasting. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, we’ve compiled the ultimate list of puns that will leave you grinning from the Iron Throne to the Wall. So grab your sword, saddle up your dragon, and get ready for a belly full of laughs. Whether you’re a Stark, a Lannister, or just a casual member of the Night’s Watch, these puns are sure to make your day. Winter may be coming, but the laughter is already here!
Hilarious Game of Thrones Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone (Editor’s Pick)
1. “I hope Jon Snow doesn’t suffer from Snow blindness!”
2. “Did you hear about the Arya Stark recipe book? It’s called ‘A Feast of Faces.'”
3. “Cersei Lannister’s favorite type of salad is a Caesar Lannister.”
4. “When Sansa Stark opened a bakery, she named it ‘The Dough-Winterfell.'”
5. “What does Jaime Lannister use to fight off the cold? Hand warmers!”
6. “Tyrion Lannister opened a winery and called his first blend ‘Imp’s Delight.'”
7. Why did the White Walkers open a fast food restaurant? They love to serve frozen food!”
8. “The Hound’s favorite movie is ‘The Bone Identity.'”
9. “If you’re feeling chilly, remember to put on a fresh pair of Ned Starkings.”
10. “When Daenerys Targaryen ordered a burger, she asked for extra dragon sauce.”
11. “Why did Viserys Targaryen refuse to take a taxi? He’d rather have a Drogo-n ride.”
12. “Ramsay Bolton’s favorite workout routine is called ‘The Flaymaster.'”
13. “When Bran Stark started learning magic tricks, he mastered the ‘Wight of Hand.'”
14. “Why did the Night King return his broken bike to the store? It was a White Walker!”
15. “Samwell Tarly is into recycling. His favorite motto? ‘Reduce, Reuse, Three Eyed Raven.'”
16. “When Khal Drogo started his own fashion line, he called it ‘Dothraki Chic.'”
17. “What do you call an injured Lannister? Cer-Sore!”
18. “Why did Ygritte always win at poker? She never knowswhen to fold!”
19. “When Missandei became a hairdresser, she specialized in ‘Khaleesi Curls.'”
20. “Why did Hodor become a detective? He always gets to the bottom of things since he ‘Hold-the-door’ open!”
Throne-tastic Wordplay (One-Liner Puns)
1. What did Ned Stark say to his wife when she asked him if he wanted another cup of coffee? “I can’t, I’ve already had my fill of Catelyn.”
2. Why did Arya Stark become good at fencing? Because she always has a point.
3. The Lannisters always pay their debts, but they never leave a tip. They just take what is owed.
4. Why did Daenerys Targaryen start a bakery? Because she wanted to be known as the mother of scones.
5. What did Jon Snow say when he served poorly cooked bacon? “I’m sorry, but this is too wilding for me.”
6. Why did Jaime Lannister invite Brienne to a dance? He wanted to show her a waltz with destiny.
7. What do you call a drunk Wildling? A free spirits.
8. How did Jon Snow surprise his friends at a party? He brought the party to The Wall!
9. Why did Sansa Stark start a gardening club? Because she’s always been fond of planting the seeds of doubt.
10. Why did Tyrion Lannister open a pub? Because he wanted to be called the Pint of the North.
11. What did Melisandre say when she discovered a new hair care product? “The night is dark and full of hairspray.”
12. What do you call it when Bran Stark throws a party? A gathering of all his close friends.
13. Why did Cersei Lannister always win at poker? She always had a royal flush.
14. What did Robb Stark say when he entered a bakery? “I’m here for the bread wedding!”
15. Why did Ramsay Bolton become a wedding planner? Because he loves to cut the cake!
16. Why did Samwell Tarly become a librarian? He’s always been a page-turner.
17. What did Jaqen H’ghar say when he saw the surprise birthday cake? “A girl is not ready for this many candles.”
18. How did Davos Seaworth become a successful seafood chef? He knows how to shuck tradition and serve fresh catches.
19. Why did Ygritte become a comedian? She’s a master of punch lines.
20. What did the Night King say when he couldn’t find his keys? “They must be beyond The Wall-lock.”
The “Dragon’s Den” (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. What did Jon Snow say to the Night King? “Let’s settle this once and for all, I’m tired of the Night’s King and Tanqueray.”
2. Why did Hodor start a band? Because he mastered the art of not playing bass-holt.
3. Why did Arya Stark refuse to go to the bakery? She didn’t knead any buns, Arya-knee?
4. How do you know when a Lannister is lying? Their nose grows like Tyrion’s vineyard.
5. What did Bran say when he discovered a new tree? “I can definitely see the stump you’re making!”
6. Why does Daenerys Targaryen always carry a hairdryer? She needs to stay on top of her dragon manes.
7. Why was Varys always invited to parties? He always brought the best hare for the throne.
8. Why did Robb Stark open a bakery? He kneaded the dough to rise while he was ruler of the bread north.
9. How does Tormund Giantsbane style his beard? With wildling hair spray, of course!
10. Why did Ramsay Bolton avoid the barbershop? He was afraid of getting a hair-trimming surprise.
11. What did Joffrey Baratheon say when he saw a bear in the woods? “Bow before me, you uncivilized claw-some creature!”
12. Why did the White Walkers enjoy jazz music? Because they were all about chilling vibes.
13. What happened when Tormund Giantsbane met a vegetarian? He started singing “I want to be Bran Doreen’s lover!”
14. Why did Hodor get involved in the stock market? He believed in the power of “Hodor-vesting” for his retirement.
15. How did Jaime Lannister break up with his girlfriend? He told her he needed some space, and it was giving him a serious handache.
16. Why did Daenerys never become a poet? She was too busy trying to write her own dragon verse.
17. What did the White Walkers say when they discovered a hot spring? “Finally, time to chill by a warm pool!”
18. Why was Tyrion always the host of parties? He knew how to make small talk with everyone.
19. What did Theon Greyjoy say when someone complimented his new car? “Thanks, it’s a real Reek of success!”
20. Why did Cersei Lannister invest in the pharmaceutical industry? Because she heard they were developing a lotion for greyscale.
Punny Thrones (Double Entendre Puns)
1. “Winter is coming, and so am I.”
2. “The Iron Throne isn’t the only thing that needs conquering.”
3. “Dragons are just fiery lovers looking for a good time.”
4. “The Wall isn’t the only thing that can keep your enemies out.”
5. “Valar Morghulis, but Valar Dildohis too.”
6. “The Night King can freeze me anytime.”
7. “My sword isn’t the only thing that’s long and hard.”
8. “Red weddings aren’t as fun as red bedrooms.”
9. “I may be a bastard, but I’ll make you feel like a queen.”
10. “A girl has no name, but she has a lot of pleasure.”
11. “Warging into someone’s mind is the perfect foreplay.”
12. “I bend both the knee and the bed.”
13. “You may be the Mother of Dragons, but I can be the father of satisfaction.”
14. “The Dothraki may ride horses, but I’ll ride you instead.”
15. “Forget the Iron Bank, I’d invest in our bed instead.”
16. I heard Jon Snow knows something about satisfying women.
17. “Catching up on the Game of Thrones? Let’s play our own game of bones.”
18. “Winter is coitus.”
19. “Kings may rise and fall, but my love for you is constant.”
20. “Forget the Seven Kingdoms, I’ll show you the eighth one.”
Pun Kings and Queens (Game of Thrones Puns)
1. I wanted to be on the throne, but I was just a pawn in the Game of Thrones.
2. Keep your friends close and your White Walkers closer.
3. He who lives by the wildfire dies by the wildfire.
4. A Lannister always pays his bets.
5. The Starks are barking up the wrong tree.
6. Winter is coming, better grab a coat and your direwolf.
7. The Night King is the king of well-timed entrances… He always breaks the ice.
8. When life gives you lemons, use them to poison your enemies at your royal wedding.
9. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the dragon’s breath.
10. Some say the Iron Throne is just a chair, but for others, it’s the iron to my soul.
11. I’m as loyal as Jon Snow’s hair.
12. When you play the Game of Thrones, winning is a royal flush.
13. Don’t worry about knowing all the dragons, just learn to breathe fire.
14. If it’s meant to be, it will be written in the Red Book of Westeros.
15. The White Walkers might be cold, but they’re not chilling enough for me to join.
16. You can’t choose your family, but you can choose to slay them during a royal feast.
17. The Lannisters aren’t the only ones who pay their debts; the Iron Bank of Braavos does too.
18. You may sit on the Iron Throne, but you can’t sit on a dragon.
19. Lord Baelish always has a “little bird” telling him secrets, but maybe he should invest in better spies.
20. Tyrion Lannister may be the Hand of the Queen, but he’ll always be the Master of Puns.
The Punny Iron Throne (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. I got sick of waiting for winter, so I opened an ice cream parlor in King’s Landing.
2. The Iron Throne is so uncomfortable, it’s just a big pain in the throne.
3. The Night King tried to take up knitting, but he couldn’t handle the purl.
4. Cersei Lannister opened a beauty salon called “Cersei’s Hair Game.
5. The Hound started brewing his own brand of hot sauce called “Fire and Bites.”
6. Jon Snow opened a mattress store called “You Know Nothing, Sleepy Jon.”
7. Bran Stark opened a bakery called “Three-Eyed Scones.”
8. The Mountain started his own gym and named it “The Skull Crusher.”
9. Daenerys Targaryen opened a pet store and called it “Dragons R Us.”
10. The Night’s Watch is considering selling sunglasses and calling them “Night’s Shades.”
11. Arya Stark is opening a cute clothing boutique, “Killing It with Style.”
12. Tyrion Lannister opened a wine bar called “The Half-Pints.”
13. Jaime Lannister started his own fishing business, specializing in catching one-handed fish.
14. House Stark frozen food line will have their slogan: “Winter (is) Coming to your Freezer!”
15. Varys is opening a hair salon chain called “The Bald and the Beautiful.”
16. Ygritte started her own hair accessories line called “Wildling Curls.”
17. Jorah Mormont started a travel agency offering trips to the shadow lands called “Jorah Mormont’s End of the World Tours.
18. Theon Greyjoy is starting a line of self-defense workshops called “Reek Havoc.”
19. Samwell Tarly opened a library with only one book called “How to Win Friends and Influence Wights.”
20. Melisandre started a skincare line with a tagline, “Age is just a number, let the flames cleanse your skin!
Throne of Puns (Game of Thrones Name Puns)
1. The Hound’s Tooth Dental Clinic
2. Bran’s Rolls – A bakery specializing in cinnamon rolls
3. Jon Snow Cone – An icy treat shop
4. Daenerys Targaryen’s Bar and Grill – Serving up some fiery dishes
5. Arya Baking – A bakery known for its killer pastries
6. King’s Landing Dry Cleaners – We clean your garments with royal precision
7. Sansa’s Ribbons and Bows – The go-to shop for all your accessory needs
8. Cersei’s Wine Cellar – A liquor store fit for a queen
9. Tyrion Shaves – A barber shop with a witty twist
10. The Night’s Watch Pet Patrol – Keeping your furry companions safe from wildlings
11. Melisandre’s Red Velvet Bakery – Delicious cakes with a touch of darkness
12. Grey Worm’s Pest Control – We exterminate your vermin with military precision
13. Highgarden Florist – A flower shop fit for a queen
14. The Iron Throne Gym – Get fit like a true ruler
15. Ygritte’s Frozen Yogurt – You know nothing, Jon Snow, but you’ll know good yogurt.
16. Ser Jorah’s Friend Zone – A bar where rejected love interests drown their sorrows
17. The Red Wedding Gown Boutique – For brides who want an unforgettable experience
18. Gendry’s Armory – Fitting you with custom armor and weaponry
19. The Greyjoy Seafood Shack – Fresh catches straight from the Iron Islands
20. Daenerys’ Dragon Daycare – Keeping your fire-breathing pets under control
Game on, Thrones Puns: Tongue-Twisted Wortplay
1. Scone of Groans
2. Storks of Lame
3. Winter is Stunning
4. Stark of Bister
5. Dragon of Moans
6. Pingslayer
7. Ned Strarky
8. Joffrary Slo
Swiftly Witted Game of Thrones (Tom Swifties)
1. “I can’t believe the dragon’s breath,” said Tom, flabbergasted.
2. “I just won the Iron Throne,” said Tom, with a regal air.
3. “Winter is coming,” said Tom, chillingly.
4. “The war for the Seven Kingdoms is intense,” said Tom, battle-scared.
5. “I’m a big fan of Game of Thrones,” said Tom, extremely.
6. “I guess Jon Snow really knows something,” said Tom, knowledgeably.
7. “I wouldn’t want to mess with Daenerys Targaryen,” said Tom, dangerously.
8. “Arya Stark sure knows how to make an entrance,” said Tom, stealthily.
9. “Cersei Lannister always pays her debts,” said Tom, creditably.
10. “Tyrion Lannister really is the life of the party,” said Tom, spiritedly.
11. “Joffrey Baratheon is the ruler everyone loves to hate,” said Tom, mockingly.
12. “The Red Wedding was shocking,” said Tom, morbidly.
13. “Hodor has a very limited vocabulary,” said Tom, simply.
14. “Bran Stark has quite the sixth sense,” said Tom, clairvoyantly.
15. “The Night King is ice-cold,” said Tom, frigidly.
16. “Theon Greyjoy’s transformation is inspiring,” said Tom, devotedly.
17. “Sansa Stark’s style is always on point,” said Tom, fashionably.
18. “Jaime Lannister sure has his sword-hand full,” said Tom, multitasking.
19. “Brienne of Tarth is a true knight,” said Tom, honorably.
20. “The Westeros politics are a real game-changer,” said Tom, politically.
Paradoxical Throne Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. The Stark family always knows how to warm up a cold winter.
2. Jon Snow: the king in the North, yet he knows nothing!
3. The Lannisters: rich in gold, but poor in morals.
4. The Iron Throne: an uncomfortable seat of power.
5. Daenerys Targaryen: a mother of dragons, yet not a fire-breather.
6. The Night’s Watch: they promise to fight for the living, but often encounter the dead.
7. Samwell Tarly: the brave coward of the Game of Thrones.
8. The Red Wedding: a celebration of love and extermination.
9. Tyrion Lannister: the small man with the biggest influence.
10. The Hound: a fierce warrior with a soft spot for chicken.
11. The Unsullied: fearless soldiers born to be free.
12. Cersei Lannister: a queen who reigns by fear, lacking mercy.
13. The Battle of Winterfell: a clash between the living and the dead during springtime.
14. The Night King: a leader of an army of ice born out of the freezing cold.
15. The Wall: a massive structure built to unite, but also divide.
16. The Ironborn: hardened sailors, prone to sea sickness.
17. Bran Stark: the all-seeing, but the one who cannot walk.
18. Arya Stark: a fierce warrior disguised as a lady.
19. The Mountain: a hulk of a man, yet delicate when it comes to his brother.
20. The Game of Thrones: a ruthless competition for power, where loyalty and trust are key.
Recursive Thrones (Punception at its Finest)
1. I went to a Game of Thrones convention dressed as a Stark. It was a Stark contrast to the other costumes!
2. Did you hear about the Lannister who became a barber? He always pays his hair debts!
3. Winter is coming? Nah, summer just keeps coming back in reruns!
4. I invited Daenerys Targaryen to my BBQ party, but she couldn’t make it. Looks like she’s all fired up elsewhere!
5. Arya Stark borrowed my copy of “The Art of Disguise,” but I haven’t seen her since. She must be really good at blending in!
6. Bran Stark tried to unlock his new iPhone using Face ID, but it kept saying, “Hold the door.”
7. Jon Snow’s favorite dessert is shaved ice. He always knows when it’s Snow Cone time!
8. Sansa Stark got into trouble at school for naming her pet direwolf “Lady.” They thought she was just acting like a Queen Bee!
9. Why did the White Walkers open a bakery? Because they knead the dough!
10. Tyrion Lannister took up gardening as a hobby. He’s always digging himself out of small plots!
11. I bought a replica of the Iron Throne, but it came unassembled. It’s a real game of adapter!
12. Jaime Lannister joined a dance troupe, but no matter how hard he practiced, he couldn’t perfect the one-hand stand!
13. Joffrey Baratheon tried his hand at stand-up comedy, but his jokes were just a Game of Groans!
14. The Hound became a successful dog trainer. He always tells his clients, “Don’t worry, I won’t bite!”
15. Cersei Lannister went on a healthy diet and started making her own cereal. She named it “Cersei-os”!
16. Melisandre started a new skincare line for fire worshippers called “Red Hot Lips.” It’s all about that fiery charisma!
17. Davos Seaworth tried his luck as a weatherman, but all his forecasts were just Davos tropes!
18. Hodor decided to make a career change and became a locksmith. He’s always at the door, holding it open!
19. The Night King opened an ice cream shop. He calls it the “Cold Throne.” It’s all about chilling!
20. Varys opened his own clothing line featuring wigs and hair accessories. He names it “The Mane Throne.” It’s all about the hair-archy!
Throne Zone of Puns and Cliches
1. Winter is coming, and so is my favorite crime drama series.
2. The Iron Throne is like a revolving door—everyone wants a seat!
3. If you can’t handle the dragon’s fire, stay out of the kitchen.
4. Valar Morghulis: All men must withdraw a dollar after losing Game Night.
5. When you play the game of Thrones, you either rise to power or end up in an awkward family reunion.
6. Don’t underestimate a woman from House Stark—she always brings her “Arya” game.
7. Cersei may like her wine, but she’s definitely a “whine” connoisseur.
8. Be careful when lending money to Jon Snow; he always promises to pay it back…eventually.
9. Theon Greyjoy is like a bad penny—he always turns up in tough situations.
10. If you can’t stand the heat, don’t challenge Daenerys Targaryen to a “dragon’s breath” eating contest.
11. If you owe someone a debt, better hope you don’t get a Lannister as your loan officer.
12. Ramsay Bolton’s pet dog definitely has that “killer instinct.”
13. The Night King’s favorite ice cream flavor? Blue Bell of the Wall (berry).
14. If you can’t handle a sword, don’t try to cross swords with Arya Stark—she’s a cut above the rest.
15. When it comes to weddings in Westeros, you can never RSVP too early.
16. If you’re looking for love in King’s Landing, just remember—everyone loves a little bit of Tyrion Lannister.
17. Littlefinger always has a trick up his sleeve, but you have to admit—he’s got “finger-lickin’ good” schemes.
18. Bran Stark always be like, “You know nothing, Jon Snow…I’ve seen the future!”
19. If you want to be the fairest of them all, just ask the mirror in the House of Black and White.
20. Sansa Stark’s cooking may be a bit bland, but add a little spice and she’ll “season” the occasion just right.
In the game of puns, you laugh or you pun. And we hope you’ve had plenty of laughs with our collection of over 200 Game of Thrones puns. But don’t leave just yet! We’ve got plenty more puns and jokes waiting for you on our website. So grab your sword, put on your best Lannister smirk, and journey through the world of puns with us. Thank you for joining us on this pun-tastic adventure!
