If you’re a fan of puns and looking to add a little humor to your day, these possum puns are sure to do the trick! From silly wordplay to clever one-liners, we’ve gathered over 200 hilarious puns that will make you possum-tively roar with laughter. Whether you’re looking to impress your friends with your wit or just need a good chuckle, these puns are perfect for any occasion. So sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained with a plethora of possum puns that are sure to leave you grinning from ear to ear. Let’s dive into the world of possums and their puns!
“Pawsitively Hilarious: Possum Puns Galore!” (Editors Pick)
1. What kind of tree does a possum prefer? A paw-some!
2. Did you hear about the possum who opened a bakery? It was a pies-sum!
3. Why did the possum start a band? Because he had some drums in the attic!
4. How did the possum cut his hair? He used his o-possum!
5. What do you call a possum with a sense of humor? A jolly roger!
6. What do you get when you cross a possum and a kangaroo? A possooroo!
7. How does a possum keep its fur clean? With a wash and brush-up!
8. Why did the possum cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
9. How do you know if a possum is lying? Its lips are o-zipped!
10. What’s a possum’s favorite holiday? Halloween!
11. Why was the possum afraid of the computer? It was afraid of the mouse!
12. What’s a possum’s favorite food? Opple sauce!
13. What do you call a possum with a degree in mathematics? An o-possum-math!
14. Why was the possum afraid of the water? It was afraid of going down the o-possum-paddle!
15. How does a possum sound when it laughs? Ha-possum!
16. What’s a possum’s favorite movie genre? Com-possum!
17. What’s a possum’s favorite dessert? Possum pie!
18. Why did the possum go to the doctor? It had an o-possum-tum!
19. How can you tell if a possum is happy? It’s o-grinning!
20. What’s a possum’s least favorite day of the week? Fri-possum!
Playing Possum with Puns (One-liner Puns)
1. Why did the possum cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
2. Did you hear about the possum who opened a nightclub? He called it “The Playing Dead.
3. What do you call a possum that can play dead and rap? “Notorious P.O.S.”
4. Why don’t possums get bored? They’re always playing dead.
5. Why is a possum good at playing poker? Because they’re great at playing “possum.”
6. Why did the possum go to Las Vegas? To hit the jackpot on the slot “possums.”
7. What did the possum say to the squirrel who asked him to come to his treehouse? “I’m not playing possum, I just have a lot on my plate.”
8. How do you know if a possum is happy? They have a big grin on their face!
9. Why did the possum get a job at the bank? Because he wanted to play “possum” and save up some cash.
10. Why did the possum stay in bed all day? Because he was feeling “possumly.”
11. How do you make a possum laugh? Play “possum” with it!
12. How do you know if a possum is lying? Its nose is growing… wait, that’s a different animal.
13. What do you call a possum that’s always on the move? A “nomad possum.”
14. Why aren’t possums good at drawing? They always play “possum” when it’s time to sketch.
15. What do you call a possum that sneaks up on you? A “silent possum.”
16. How does a possum write? With a “possum” pencil!
17. Why don’t possums eat junk food? They prefer playing “possum.”
18. What did the baby possum say to its mother? “Can we play ‘possum’ again?”
19. What do you call a possum that’s always down in the dumps? A “depossum.”
20. Why don’t possums get lost? They always “play possum” and wait for someone to find them.
Possumly Puns (Question-and-Answer Shenanigans)
1. What do you call a sneaky possum? A pos-sneak.
2. Why did the possum cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
3. What did one possum say to the other possum? “Sssssssomebody sssssssaid we wasssss playing possum.”
4. Why did the possum go to school? To learn how to play possum professionally.
5. What do you call a possum that plays dead? O-possum.
6. What do you call a possum that knows martial arts? A Kung Fu possum.
7. Why did the possum bring a ladder to the party? To play possum-upon-a-time.
8. What do you call a possum that sings? A possitively good singer.
9. Why did the possum go to space? To look for some possumstronauts.
10. What do you call a possum that fights crime? A possum-vigilante.
11. Why did the possum try sky-diving? To prove he could play possum from any height.
12. What do you call a possum that loves to dance? A possitively groovy dancer.
13. Why did the possum refuse to pay for something in the store? He was looking for a possum discount.
14. What do you call a possum that tells tall tales? A possum-ego.
15. Why did the possum try to sneak into the movie theater? To play possum-hide-and-seek.
16. What do you call a possum that loves to gamble? A possum-bilist.
17. Why did the possum break up with his girlfriend? She was playing possum with his feelings.
18. What do you call a possum that is good at math? A possumatic genius.
19. Why did the possum fail his driver’s test? He was too good at playing possum in the car.
20. What do you call a possum who is always involved in drama? A possum-in-the-middle.
Playing Possum: Double Entendre Puns That’ll Make You Snicker
1. Why did the possum break up with his girlfriend? He wanted to play dead with other people.
2. Did you hear about the possum who got a job playing dead? He’s the best actor in Hollywood.
3. Why did the possum join a gang? He wanted to play dead like it was his job.
4. What did the possum say when he got caught stealing from a bank? “I’m just playing possum!”
5. Did you hear about the possum who opened a bar? It’s called “Playing Dead, Drinking Alive.”
6. Why did the possum start exercising? He wanted to play dead less often.
7. What do you call a possum that’s always playing dead? A master-baiter.
8. Why did the possum get kicked out of the strip club? He was playing dead on the dance floor.
9. What do you call a possum that’s really into BDSM? A playing-dead sub.
10. Why did the possum turn down a role in a movie? He didn’t want to get typecast as a playing-dead extra.
11. Why did the possum get a tattoo of a skull on his tail? He wanted people to know he was serious about playing dead.
12. Did you hear about the possum who became a detective? His specialty is playing dead bodies.
13. What do you call a possum that’s always gambling? A playing-dead recklessly.
14. Why did the possum get into politics? He wanted to play dead so well, nobody would think he was alive.
15. Did you hear about the possum who joined a cult? They believe in playing dead to reach enlightenment.
16. What’s a possum’s favorite pickup line? “Hey, want to come play dead with me?”
17. Why did the possum go to the bank with a vacuum cleaner? He wanted to play dead-cleaner.
18. Did you hear about the possum who started a dating service? It’s called “Playing Dead, Looking Alive.”
19. Why did the possum go to the gym? He wanted to sculpt his playing-dead form.
20. What do you call a possum that’s addicted to online gaming? A playing-dead gamer.
Possum-tively Punny Idioms: Playing Dead with Hilarious Wordplay!
1. “Playing dead was just a possumbility I couldn’t resist.”
2. “That possum may look tough, but he’s all fur and no bite.”
3. “Don’t be a possum in headlights, make a decision!”
4. “I’m not playing possum, I really am that tired.”
5. “He went full possum when he heard the scary noise.”
6. “Possums have the best poker face, they never give anything away.”
7. “This job is a real possumbility for me.”
8. “The possum was caught red-handed stealing the cat food.”
9. “I said to my possum friend ‘Let’s play dead’, but he never got up again.”
10. “That possum is a real wallflower, doesn’t want to come out of his shell.”
11. “Why do possums always win arguments? They’re good at playing oppossum.”
12. “Possums may look like rats, but they’re actually quite up-possum standing.”
13. “The possum saved up all his acorns for the colder months, he’s very fursighted.”
14. “Possums are nocturnal creatures, they prefer to do things under the cover of darkness.”
15. “I found some possum poop in my backyard, it’s a real poopossums.”
16. “Possums are not very good at math, they prefer to count on their tails.”
17. “Don’t give up-possum, there’s always a way out!”
18. “The possum was so cold he had to curl up into a possum ball to stay warm.”
19. “You can try to possum off work, but your boss will find out.”
20. “The possum was caught in a trap and said ‘I really need to learn to possum my feelings better’.”
Playing Possum with Pun Juxtaposition: Witty Wordplay on Possum Puns
1. Why couldn’t the possum pay his bills? Because he was playing possum.
2. What do you call a possum with a donut? A jelly roll possum.
3. Did you hear about the possum who became a doctor? He specialized in playing dead.
4. How do you know when a possum is lying? Its tail is twitching.
5. I asked the possum if he wanted a glass of milk and he said, “I’ll just play dead.”
6. Why did the possum cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken.
7. Why did the possum sue the bank? He said they played dead with his account.
8. The possum tried to open a bakery but it was a flop because he kept playing dead dough.
9. Why did the possum go to the doctor? He had a case of playing too much dead.
10. The possum chef cooked up a storm, but he always played dead when it was time to clean the kitchen.
11. What does a possum use to cut his hair? A playing dead-end comb.
12. The possum couldn’t find his phone, he played dead with his pocket.
13. Why was the possum a terrible gambler? He kept playing dead with his poker face.
14. How do you know when a possum is nervous? Its tail is playing dead.
15. The possum tried to join a rock band, but they said he played too much dead wood.
16. What do you call a possum lawyer? A playing dead-vocate.
17. The possum was a terrible singer, all he did was play dead-achromatic tones.
18. What do you call a possum who likes to collect stamps? A playing dead-philatelist.
19. Why did the possum become a chef? Because he was tired of playing dead-beat jobs.
20. The possum was a terrible comedian, all his jokes played dead on arrival.
Possumly Punny Names: The Witty World of Possum Puns
1. Ossie Mandias
2. Perry Podium
3. Possumus Jackson
4. Wanda Wallaby
5. Margo Marsupial
6. Sammy Snuggles
7. Pogo Pouch
8. Posie Pipsqueak
9. Polly Pout
10. Priscilla Purrfect
11. Pansy Paws
12. Phillipa Phantom
13. Oscar Opossum
14. Patience Puddlejumper
15. Patsy Pawley
16. Pluto Pucker
17. Penelope Playdead
18. Peggy Punch
19. Petra Pest
20. Paige Prancer
A Pause for Possum Puns (Spoonerisms)
1. “Playing dead is par for the corpse-um.”
2. “I’m feeling paw-some tonight.”
3. “My brother is a possum-taker.”
4. Don’t be a sposter, join in the fun!
5. “Possum your way through life!”
6. “Possums are quite op-pore-tumistic creatures.”
7. “That possum is a real tick-magnet.”
8. “He’s a total possum plugger!”
9. I swear my pet possum has an opposable thumb-paw.
10. “Don’t be such a hossum-podge.”
11. “My dad called me a possumfied child.”
12. “I’m a pretty good possum impersonator, if I do say so myself.”
13. “I think I’m coming down with a case of the possum blues.”
14. I saw a possum drinking a cup of joey this morning.
15. “Possums in a pocket? More like pocket possums!”
16. I once saw a possum driving a rampant rhino.
17. “That possum is definitely an opossumorph.”
18. “Possums love to play dead-bug on a log.”
19. You can catch more flies with honey than with possum pee.
20. “A group of possums is called a posse.”
Possumly Perfect Puns (Tom Swifties)
1. “I’m not sure I should eat this possum,” Tom said, half-heartedly.
2. “That possum is playing dead,” Tom said, lifelessly.
3. “I hope this possum isn’t too chewy,” Tom said, jaw-droppingly.
4. “I don’t believe that possum has rabies,” Tom said, unconvincingly.
5. “I can’t find my possum cookbook,” Tom said, huntedly.
6. “I don’t see how possums are similar to cats,” Tom said, oppossumly.
7. “This possum is too tough,” Tom said, overbearingly.
8. “I can’t believe I just hit a possum,” Tom said, deadpan.
9. “I’m not sure if this possum is fresh enough,” Tom said, jugglingly.
10. “I’m so tired of possums,” Tom said, playing possum.
11. I don’t think this possum was worth the hunt,” Tom said, dis-possum-ly.
12. “This possum looks very unhealthy,” Tom said, sickly.
13. “I found a possum in our trashcan,” Tom said, dumpster-divingly.
14. “Why do possums always play dead?” Tom asked, lifelessly.
15. “I can’t seem to get rid of these possums,” Tom said, pest-fully.
16. “This possum is so big, it’s like a small bear,” Tom said, overbearingly.
17. “I can’t seem to find any s’more possum recipes,” Tom said, camping-ly.
18. “I hope this possum doesn’t wake up and attack me,” Tom said, possum-ly.
19. “I’m not sure possums are really nocturnal,” Tom said, darkly.
20. Possums are so ugly, they’re almost cute,” Tom said, purr-fectly.
Contradictory Critter Talk: Possum Pun-derings (Oxymoronic Puns)
1. That possum is playing dead on a roll.
2. That possum is too lively for my taste!
3. That possum seems pretty quiet… maybe too quiet…
4. That possum is playing possum with my emotions!
5. I can’t believe how much of a neat-freak that possum is!
6. That possum is downright lazy – it’s doing two things at once!
7. That possum is playing high and mighty.
8. That possum is being quiet and loud at the same time!
9. That possum is really coming out of its shell… well, almost.
10. That possum is really taking a nap on its game!
11. That possum is making a huge fuss about nothing!
12. That possum is hot and cold as they come!
13. That possum is doing a great job of being mediocre.
14. That possum is taking its time and rushing all at the same time!
15. That possum is going overboard with its cleanliness habits.
16. That possum is really going places by staying right where it is!
17. That possum is such a wild card – always playing it safe.
18. That possum is putting on quite the performance… of pretending to be dead.
19. That possum is too sweet for its own good…or maybe not sweet enough.
20. That possum is being so loud, I can’t even hear its silence!
Possum-ly Recursive (Possum Puns)
1. Why did the possum cross the road? To get to the other side of the pun.
2. What do you call a group of possums? A playing dead.
3. What do you call a possum with a cold? A snot playing possum.
4. How do possums cook their food? In a playing skillet.
5. Why do possums struggle with math? They always fall playing behind.
6. What do you call a possum that likes to party? A playing possum.
7. Why did the possum get lost? It didn’t have a playing map.
8. What is a possum’s favorite string instrument? The playing possum.
9. What do you call a possum that just woke up? A playing drowsy.
10. Why don’t possums eat spicy food? It’s too playing hot.
11. What do you call a possum with a sweet tooth? Playing possum.
12. What do you call a possum that’s always in a rush? Playing pronto.
13. Why do possums have a hard time keeping secrets? They’re always playing dead.
14. What is a possum’s favorite Shakespearean play? Much Ado About Playing Dead.
15. What did one possum say to the other? Playing possum isn’t just a job, it’s an adventure.
16. Why did the possum skip his appointment? Because he was playing dead-tired.
17. Why did the possum go to therapy? It was playing emotionally scarred.
18. What do you call a possum that stole something? A playing thief.
19. Why did the possum refuse to drink? He was already playing playing possum.
20. What did the possum say when he failed his test? “I guess I’m playing dead last.”
Playing Possum with Puns (Puns on Possums)
1. “Playing possum” is just part of their “act”!
2. “He played dead like a possum” becomes “He played possum like a deadbeat.”
3. “Like a possum in headlights” becomes “Like a possum in headlights, I froze.”
4. “Don’t get caught playing possum” becomes “Don’t get caught playing possum – it’s a dead giveaway!”
5. “Possum on the half shell” for “oysters on the half shell.”
6. He grins like a possum eating peach seeds” becomes “He grins like a possum eating peaches, pitifully.
7. “He looks as quick as a possum in a hen house” becomes “He’s quick as a possum on the run.”
8. “Play possum” becomes “play possum, it’s a dead-end strategy.”
9. “Cuter than a possum in a top hat” as opposed to “Cuter than a button.”
10. Like a possum up a tree” becomes “Up a tree like a possum without a ladder.
11. “Grinning like a possum at a hen’s house door” instead of “grinning like a Cheshire cat.”
12. “Possum herding” instead of “cat herding” to describe a nearly impossible task.
13. “Possum-eyed” instead of “bug-eyed.”
14. “Up all night like a possum” becomes “Up all night like a possum avoiding cats.”
15. “Possum-bilities” instead of “possibilities.”
16. “Hanging by a dead possum” instead of “hanging by a thread.”
17. “Dead as a possum in the road” instead of “dead as a doornail.”
18. “Lying like a possum in the grass” instead of “lying like a dog.”
19. “Possum tote” instead of “tote bag.”
20. “Possum hairdo” instead of “updo.”
In conclusion, we hope these possum puns have made you laugh and brightened up your day! Don’t forget to share them with your friends and family to spread the joy. And if you can’t get enough of puns, check out our website for more hilarious jokes. Thank you for visiting and remember to keep on punning!
