220 Hilarious Police Puns to Arrest Your Funny Bone and Boost Your Laughs

Punsteria Team
police puns

Ready to laugh out loud? We’ve rounded up over 200 of the best police puns that are sure to tickle your funny bone! From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, these puns are perfect for anyone who loves a good laugh. Whether you’re a cop, a crime enthusiast, or just someone with a great sense of humor, these puns will definitely have you giggling. So get ready to be arrested by laughter and boost your mood with these hilarious police puns!

“Arresting Laughter: The Best Police Puns” (Editors Pick)

1. Why did the police officer go to the art museum? To take fingerprints!
2. Why don’t police officers ever forget a criminal’s face? Because it’s their mug shot.
3. What do you call a police officer in bed? An undercover cop.
4. Why did the police officer ticket the zombie? For double parking.
5. How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.
6. Why did the police officer quit his job? Was undercover and couldn’t find his way back.
7. What do you call a police officer who makes the best jokes? A cop-a-witty.
8. What do you call a police officer who’s always on the phone? A cop-a-phone-a!
9. Why didn’t the police officer go to work? Because he was a little horse.
10. Why did the police officer pull over the hamburger? Because it was exceeding the speed limit.
11. Why don’t police officers ever get bored at work? Because every day is an arresting experience.
12. How did the police officer know his coffee was a criminal? It left a mugshot.
13. Why don’t police officers trust stairs? Because they’re always up to something.
14. Why did the police officer visit the pastry chef? He heard he had evidence of some croissant activity.
15. Why do police officers make good photographers? They always know how to take mugshots.
16. Why did the police officer get the driver’s license when he was a baby? So he could drive-bye.
17. How does a police officer know when his wife is cheating on him? She starts coming home with a taser.
18. Why did the police officer give up on his gardening job? He couldn’t grow evidence.
19. Why don’t police officers ever hate their job? They can always plant evidence.
20. How did the police officer know it was time for a haircut? He could hear the sirens coming.

Criminal Clapbacks (Police-related Puns)

1. Did you hear about the officer who stole a calendar? He got twelve months!
2. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? To get his beat!
3. I wanted to be a police officer, but I couldn’t take the cop out.
4. What do police officers eat for breakfast? Cop cakes!
5. Why did the police officer sit on the toilet? To do his duty!
6. What do you call a fake police officer? An im-policeman!
7. Why did the police officer arrest the ghost? He didn’t have a haunting license.
8. Why don’t police officers tell jokes? They prefer the punch line!
9. What do you get when you cross a police officer and a lawyer? Law enforcement!
10. Did you hear about the police officer who stubbed his toe? He said it was the hardest beat he’d ever walked!
11. What do you call a group of police officers wearing sunglasses? Shade-enforcers!
12. Why did the police officer run away from his own shadow? He thought he was being tailed!
13. What do police officers call their day off? Felonious Fun Day!
14. What did the police officer say when he broke his handcuffs? I can’t believe I’m off the hook!
15. Why did the police officer break up with his girlfriend? She was always arresting his development!
16. How does a police officer go fishing? With a criminal!
17. Why did the police officer cross the road? To get to the doughnut shop!
18. What did the police officer say to the skunk? Back off, or you’ll get sprayed!
19. How do police officers stay cool in the summer? They keep their sirens on!
20. Why did the police officer fail to solve the crime? He couldn’t get a grasp on the situation!

Criminal Comedy: Q&A Puns on Police Puns

1. Why was the police officer always calm? Because he had a lot of patiencuffs.
2. How does a police officer stay cool during the summer? By staying in the shade of the long arm of the law.
3. Why was the police officer always happy? Because he could arrest anyone he felt like.
4. What do you call a detective who can’t solve a case? A private joke.
5. Why did the police officer become an artist? Because he loved to draw suspects.
6. How did the police officer catch the thief? He staked out his territory.
7. Why was the police officer always on the lookout? Because he was a watch dog.
8. How does a police officer know that he’s a fan of football? Because he loves a good tackle.
9. Why do the cops love donuts so much? They have a hole lot of respect for them.
10. How do the police officers make the criminal pay for their crimes? By taking them to court.
11. Why did the police officer take his helmet off? Because his head was under arrest.
12. How did the police officer catch the runaway criminal? He just followed the tracks.
13. What do you call a cop who’s always jumpy? Officer Caffeine.
14. Why did the cop hate working for the traffic division? He was always ticketed off.
15. How does the police officer solve a problem? By using his brain’o’scope.
16. Why did the cop take a professional development class? He was trying to level up.
17. How did the cop teach his son the alphabet? He reminded him that Cops Arrest Bad ABC’s.
18. Why did the cop try to learn French? He was hoping to catch fourgetful criminals.
19. What was the cop’s favorite sitcom? That 70s Crime Show.
20. Why did the cop stop his car on the way to work? He was trying to make a rest in peace.

Cops and Robbers: The Best Double Entendre Police Puns

1. Why did the police arrest the turkey? He was suspected of fowl play.
2. What do you call a fake police officer? A cop-out.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
4. What is a police officer’s favorite kind of food? Copcakes.
5. What do you call a police officer who can’t stop making puns? A cop-out.
6. How do police officers stay cool? They open their vests for maximum undercover.
7. Why did the police officer go to the grocery store? He was looking for some beat.
8. What do you call a police officer with a big nose? Chief Sniffer.
9. Why did the police officer break up with his lover? He was always booking time with the station.
10. What do you call a group of secret police officers competing in a marathon? Spies that run.
11. What is a police officer’s favorite type of hotel? The cop-a-cabana.
12. What did the police officer say to his belly? You’re under a vest.
13. How do you know if a police officer is working on the street? He’s the one with the earpiece talking to himself.
14. What do you call a police officer who travels by train? A loco-motor cop.
15. How do police officers communicate with each other? They speak in codes like 10-4, 10-20 and 10-2.
16. Why was the police officer always cooking breakfast? He wanted to be a sizzle-ary.
17. What do you call a police officer’s favorite music? Cop rock.
18. Why did the police officer go to the vet? He wanted to get micro-copped.
19. How did the police officer cure his cold? He booked time in the coughin’.
20. What do you call a police officer who is always cold? A cop-sicle.

Cop-tivating Puns (Puns on Police Idioms)

1. The police officer lost his watch at a crime scene, and now he has a case on his hands.
2. The new police officer was unsure if he was cut out for the job, but he soon found his beat.
3. When the police officer witnessed the car robbery, he had a brake down.
4. The police officer in charge of tracking down the criminal had a few leads, but then they went cold turkey.
5. The police officer was always on the lookout for stolen property, but sometimes the suspect had it all locked up.
6. The police sergeant was always eager to solve a mystery, but sometimes he had to draw the line.
7. The police officer knew the suspect was guilty, but he just couldn’t cuff him.
8. The police officer tried to make sense of the crime scene, but it was all just gunpowder and smoke.
9. The police officer suspected his partner of stealing his lunch, but it was just a wrap sheet.
10. The rookie police officer tried to apprehend the suspect, but he felt like he was swimming upstream.
11. The police officer was always a stickler for the rules, but sometimes he had to turn a blind eye.
12. The police department’s new recruit was eager to prove himself, but he was still wet behind the ears.
13. The police officer was always the calm in the eye of the storm, but sometimes he had to weather the storm himself.
14. The police detective was always following leads, but he had to be careful not to get left holding the bag.
15. The police officer saw the suspect running down the street, but he didn’t have the heart to chase him down.
16. The police officer had a hard time believing the witness’s testimony, but it all added up in the end.
17. The police officer tried to keep his cool during the high-speed chase, but he was at the end of his rope.
18. The police department’s budget was tight, but they had to make ends meet.
19. The police officer was always watching his back, but he never forgot to keep his nose to the grindstone.
20. The police officer tried to solve the case, but he always felt like he was going around in circles.

Cops and Robbers (Pun Juxtaposition)

1. Why did the police officer go to sleep under her car? She wanted to wake up oily
2. What did one police officer say to the other officer when they went outside on a hot summer day? “Man, it’s a real heat arrest out here!”
3. Why did the police officer go to the bank? To get his copypaste
4. Why did the police officer bring a glue stick to work? Just in case he needed to stick up for himself.
5. Why did the police officer use an eraser on his computer screen? Because he wanted to make a clean get away from the computer
6. Why did the police officer bring a baseball bat to work? In case he needed to catch criminals off guard
7. Why did the police officer have a clock in his car? So he could watch the speed of criminals
8. Why did the police officer carry a dog with him all the time? Because a K9 just wasn’t enough!
9. Why did the police officer get arrested while on duty? Because he was caught stealing evidence
10. Why did the police officer chase a chicken across the road? He wanted to catch an egg thief in the act
11. Why did the police officer break into his own police car? He locked himself out and wanted to break into the evidence locker to retrieve his spare key
12. Why did the police officer become a beekeeper? He wanted to catch burglars in a sting operation
13. Why did the police officer get a job as a landscaper? He wanted to catch criminals mowing the lawns of their hideouts
14. Why did the police officer equip his car with a GPS tracker? He wanted to follow the trail of breadcrumbs left by criminals
15. Why did the police officer become a chef? To grill criminals during interrogations
16. Why did the police officer learn archery? To shoot criminals with a bow and arraign them swiftly
17. Why did the police officer become a magician? To put handcuffs on criminals with a magical twist
18. Why did the police officer learn math so well? To solve crimes using his sleuthy skills in calculations
19. Why did the police officer become a mushroom farmer? He wanted to catch someone hiding on his farm with spore tactics
20. Why did the police officer bring a mop to work? To clean up the streets of crooks

Cops-clever (Pun-tastic Police Names)

1. Cuffington Post
2. Officer Johnson & Johnson
3. Siren Song Hotel
4. Police Boysenberry
5. The Thin Blue Wine
6. Detective Draper
7. Cop-accino
8. Sheriff Starbright
9. Night Shift Donuts
10. Highway Patrolling Stones
11. Constable Crabtree
12. The Beat Goes On Motel
13. Blue Bacon Donut Shop
14. Deputy Dribble
15. Copacabana Beach
16. Sergeant Squirt
17. Undercover Umbrella
18. Sheriff Shangri-La
19. SWAT Tea House
20. The Officer’s Club Sandwich

A Cufflink of the Tongue (Police Pun Spoonerisms)

1. “Lice siren” instead of “police siren”
2. “Brawnie coppers” instead of “crowdie boppers”
3. “Haughty cuff” instead of “caughty huff”
4. “Faster ticker” instead of “master thiccer”
5. Cuffing date” instead of “duffing cate
6. “Barking radar” instead of “marking bader”
7. “Jail bait” instead of “bail jate”
8. “Pistol shrimps” instead of “pistol grips”
9. “Crime shocker” instead of “time crocker”
10. “Arresting chairs” instead of “cherry staring”
11. “Victim pool” instead of “pictum vool”
12. “Bunking ditches” instead of “dumping bitches”
13. Flashing light” instead of “lashing flight
14. “Tackle bags” instead of “backle tags”
15. “Squadron cop” instead of “codron sqaup”
16. “Patrol charts” instead of “charol parts”
17. “Touting brollies” instead of “bouting trollies”
18. Rolling mules” instead of “molling rules
19. “Beating clops” instead of “cheating blops”
20. “Chasing tails” instead of “tasting chails”

Pun-tastic Police Swifties

1. “I’m sorry, sir, we’re closed,” the police officer said curtly.
2. “I’ll need a few minutes to solve this case,” said the detective copiously.
3. “I caught the thief red-handed,” said the officer brazenly.
4. “I can’t wait to lock up this criminal,” said the cop convincingly.
5. Stop in the name of the law,” yelled the officer shrilly.
6. “I have to write you a ticket for jaywalking,” said the cop illegally.
7. “I’ll catch the kidnapper,” said the detective adamantly.
8. “I won’t let you get away with this,” said the policeman arrestingly.
9. “I’m going undercover,” said the officer sneakily.
10. “I’m going to have to put you under arrest,” said the cop submissively.
11. “I’m taking no chances in this high-speed pursuit,” said the officer recklessly.
12. “I’m questioning the witness now,” said the detective meaningfully.
13. “I’m confident we’ll solve this mystery,” said the cop assuredly.
14. “I’ve got my eye on this suspect,” said the officer ironically.
15. “I’ll get to the bottom of this,” said the detective gravely.
16. “I’ll need backup to take down these criminals,” said the cop urgently.
17. “I’m on the trail of the bank robber,” said the detective persistently.
18. “I’m taking these bad guys to the slammer,” said the cop offhandedly.
19. “I’ll have to confiscate this evidence,” said the officer possessively.
20. “I’ll use all my resources to catch the fugitive,” said the detective resourcefully.

Contradicting Cops: Oxymoronic Police Puns

1. Why did the police officer arrest the ghost? He wanted to book him for disappearing.
2. I wanted to tell the police officer a joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
3. Did you hear about the police officer who slept on the job? He was undercover.
4. The police officer told me he’s been chasing his dreams. I guess that’s why he’s always running.
5. Why did the police officer go to the movies by himself? He wanted to watch a stakeout.
6. The police officer told me he was a vegetarian, but he still loved to grill suspects.
7. Why do police officers never get angry? They just maintain their beat.
8. I heard the police officer has a great sense of humor, but he never cracks a case.
9. Why did the police officer go to the beach? He wanted to catch some criminals.
10. The police officer told me he’s not very good at math, but he can still count on his instincts.
11. Why did the police officer cross the road? To get to the other side of the law.
12. Why do police officers love to listen to music? It helps them tune out the criminals.
13. The police officer told me he was tired of sitting at a desk all day. He wanted to stand up for justice.
14. Why do police officers always use a ruler? They like to measure up to their expectations.
15. I heard the police officer is a great artist. He always draws a crowd.
16. Why did the police officer break up with his girlfriend? She was always stealing his heart.
17. The police officer told me he likes to start his day with a cup of joe. He’s always on the grind.
18. Why do police officers always use pencils instead of pens? They like to erase any mistakes they make.
19. The police officer told me he loves to travel. He likes to explore different jurisdictions.
20. Why did the police officer go to the gym? He wanted to buff up on his detective skills.

The Law Is Hilarious: Recursive Police Puns

1. What does a police officer say to their belly button? You’re under a vest!
2. Did you hear about the police officer who was caught stealing electricity? He was charged and had to give a current statement.
3. Why did the police officer decide to become a musician? He wanted to become a part-time copper pianist.
4. Do police officers have a favorite type of vegetable? Yes, they love beets.
5. Why did the police officer jump into the lake? He was doing deep water under cover.
6. What does a police officer say when they make a joke? “I’m arresting you for laughing!”
7. What do you call a police officer who is grumpy in the morning? A grouchy cop.
8. What does a police officer say before they go to bed at night? “Goodnight cop, goodnight chief, goodnight sergeant, goodnight thief.”
9. Why did the police officer refuse to go on vacation? He was worried he would miss his beat.
10. Why did the police officer break up with his girlfriend? He couldn’t handle the long truncheon of a distance relationship.
11. What do you get when you cross a police officer with a skunk? A cop that smells like trouble.
12. Why did the police officer switch to an electric car? He wanted to join the volt force.
13. Why did the police officer quit his job to become a baker? He heard there was dough in it.
14. What did the police officer say after he arrested a stinky criminal? “You’re in a lot of old spice trouble now.”
15. Why did the police officer refuse to eat the hotdog? It had too many felonies.
16. Why did the police officer refuse to leave his house? He was under house arrest.
17. What do you call a police officer who is also a lifeguard? A police lifeguard.
18. Why did the police officer get angry at his computer? It kept saying “ctrl + alt + thief”.
19. Why did the police officer refuse to enter the haunted house? He was afraid he would be haunted by his past arrest history.
20. What do you call a police officer who uses a lot of spices while cooking? A curry-ous cop.

Coping with Cops and Their Pun-derful Sense of Humor (Puns on Police and Clichés)

1. Why did the police officer go to the art museum? To brush up on his Can(ino)va-ledge.
2. Why do police officers wear blue? Cause they’re feeling a little arrest-a-blues.
3. What do you call a detective who loves ice cream? Sherlock Cones.
4. What did the cop say to his belly? Freeze, you’re under a vest!
5. When a police officer is under stress, they turn to cheese. They just need a patrolein.
6. What do you call a group of robbers? A crook of thieves.
7. Why did the doughnut refuse to speak to the police? He had shell-shock.
8. What do you call a fraudulent train? A sham-locomotive.
9. Why did the police officer go on vacation? He wanted to: ses-siesta.
10. Why did the police officer arrest the musician? For bass-ault.
11. Police offers don’t like gardening because they get trigger-happy around hoes.
12. How do you know when a police officer is out of breath? He starts to whee-term.
13. Why did the police officer climb up on the roof wearing slippers? He wanted to catch some sleep criminals.
14. Why do policemen prefer dogs to cats? Because dogs don’t purr-tray their owners.
15. Police officers never make mistakes, they just compromise a felonious situ-8-ion.
16. What do you call a cop who doesn’t take bribes? A Doe-badder.
17. What type of chili do policemen eat? COPpotle.
18. Police officers don’t believe in ghosts, they’re too busy chasing Criminals.
19. How does a police officer break up a fight between two wind turbines? He slaps the cuffs on them.
20. What do you call a police station built on a horse? Stable-Ice!

In conclusion, we hope you have enjoyed these 200+ hilarious police puns and that they have given your funny bone a good workout. If you’re hungry for more puns, be sure to check out our website where you’ll find many more to tickle your funny bone. Thank you for taking the time to visit our site, and we hope to see you again soon for more laughs!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.