Weight for It: 220 Hilariously Fun Fat Puns to Lighten Up Your Day

Punsteria Team
fat puns

Looking for some gut-busting humor to brighten up your day? Well, weight for it, because we’ve got a hefty dose of hilarity coming your way! In this article, we’ll be serving up over 200 side-splittingly funny fat puns that are guaranteed to crack you up. Whether you’re a fan of food-related humor or just love a good play on words, these puns will have you rolling with laughter. So, get ready to expand your waistline with laughter as we dive into this collection of fat puns that’ll leave you in stitches. Brace yourself for a bellyful of fun and let’s dive into the wonderful world of fat puns!

Flabulously Funny Fat Pun Selection (Editors Pick)

1. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t cut it. So now I’m just a cake enthusiast!
2. Did you hear about the hungry clock? It went back four seconds.
3. I asked my dietitian if I could have a cheat day. She told me I “dessert-ve” it!
4. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
5. I wanted to lose some weight, but I decided doughnuts were a better investment.
6. I used to eat a lot of natural, organic food, until I realized the hotdogs at baseball games were also made of meat.
7. I finally decided to stop eating doughnuts. It’s tough, but I’m glazing over it.
8. My trainer told me to eat salad for dinner. So, I put a pizza on top of a salad for dinner!
9. I’ve gained so much weight that I’m now selling all my skinny jeans… they’re a waist of time!
10. I hate it when I gain weight. It’s like my body is trying to get back at me for all the salads I didn’t eat.
11. I hope there’s a buffet in heaven. Not because I want to eat, but because I want to prove my fitness friends wrong.
12. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it!
13. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always trying to bring me down.
14. I started a new diet where I walk past the doughnut shop every day. So far, I’ve lost 18 days.
15. I tried to lose weight, but it just kept finding me.
16. I’ve been on a diet for two weeks, and all I’ve lost is 14 days.
17. When someone adds me on Facebook, I like to assume they’re looking for a waist of time.
18. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
19. My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward!
20. The only crunches I do are on potato chips.

Chubby Chuckles (Fit for One-liner Puns)

1. I invited my fat friend to the bakery, and he said, “I’m on a roll!”
2. Did you hear about the overweight mathematician? He carried a sumo calculator.
3. I knew a guy who was so big, he had his own zip code.
4. My friend asked me if I wanted to go for a run, and I replied, “I can’t, I’m only jogging your memory.”
5. I asked the overweight horse if he wanted seconds, but he said, “Nay, I’m stuffed!”
6. I asked the heavy metal fan how he exercises, and he replied, “I do headbanging curls.”
7. The dietitian told me not to eat in front of the television. Now I eat in the kitchen, facing the fridge.
8. I went on a sea expedition, and all I caught was a whale of a joke.
9. My friend is so fat, he has a separate gravitational pull.
10. Why did the overweight ghost go on a diet? He wanted to be a lighter shade of pale.
11. I was going to make a joke about a big cheese, but it’s too gouda to be true.
12. Why did the overweight cat join a gym? She wanted to be the “purrfect” hourglass.
13. I used to be scared of my friend who is really fat, but now I’ve gained weight.
14. My friend tried to lose weight by eating light bulbs, but he had a glowing personality instead.
15. I asked the overweight baker how he stays in shape, and he replied, “I knead the dough.”
16. My friend is so big that it takes two buses and a train to transport him. They call it mass transit.
17. I gave my overweight friend a scale for Christmas, but he wanted a bigger present.
18. I went on a diet, but I couldn’t resist my friend’s fat rolls of laughter.
19. My friend’s fat dog swallowed a bone whole. He said it was a rib-tickling experience.
20. I asked my overweight friend if he wanted to go on a diet, and he said, “I’m not biting!”

Fit Funnies (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork chop!
3. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!
4. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
5. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
7. How do you organize a space party? You just planet!
8. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
9. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
10. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired!
11. What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
12. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it!
13. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
14. What do you call a pig that knows karate? Porkchop!
15. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
16. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
17. How do you count cows? With a cowculator!
18. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
19. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite!
20. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!

“Getting a Little Cheesy: A Plump Collection of Double Entendre Puns”

1. I’m on a seafood diet… I see food and I eat it, especially the fattening kind.
2. I’m trying to lose weight, but every time I step on the scale, it says “To be continued…”
3. I couldn’t resist the donut, it was just calling my name… and all my other names too.
4. I realized I had put on some extra pounds when I went to hug someone and he said, “Excuse me, but you’re encroaching on my personal space.”
5. My doctor told me to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror.
6. I started a gym membership called “Fad Fitness” because it embraces my love for both fitness and fad diets.
7. I asked my doctor if he had a diet plan for me, and he said, “Don’t go bacon my heart.”
8. I was feeling down about my weight, but then I realized it’s just more of me to love.
9. My significant other told me they wanted to get a little more “toned,” so I bought them a musical instrument.
10. When someone asked me how I lost weight, I replied, “I hugged my doughnut until it cried and melted away.”
11. The best part about being fat is that no one ever asks you to run from their problems.
12. My love for food is so intense, it’s like I’m in a committed relationship with a buffet.
13. I tried eating healthy, but it didn’t work. Apparently, you can’t just rub kale on your thighs to make them smaller.
14. I asked my friend if they had any tips for losing weight, and they said, “Sure, just stick to the celery-chon method!”
15. I heard exercising releases endorphins, so now I’m trying to find the person who took away my Doritos.
16. I tried counting calories, but apparently, they’re too small to see without a magnifying glass.
17. I went for a jog yesterday… it was more like a snack run, but hey, at least I burned off a few calories.
18. Instead of going to the gym, I decided to start a “laughter-a-robics” class, because who needs abs when you have abs-olutely hilarious puns?
19. I tried to join an aerobics class for weight loss, but I accidentally ended up in a room full of helium balloons. It was an uplifting experience.
20. The only thing I’m lifting these days is a spoon… and then a fork, and maybe a knife.

Chubby Cheeks and Word Play: Fat Puns That’ll Have You Busting Your Buttons

1. I’m not fat, just horizontally challenged.
2. She’s not overweight, she’s just gravitationally enhanced.
3. I have more curves than a country road.
4. I’m not fat, I’m fluffy!
5. I’m not heavy, I just carry extra love handles.
6. I’m not fat, I’m festively plump.
7. I’m not fat, I’m just big-boned.
8. I’m not overweight, I’m undertall.
9. I’m not fat, I’m well-rounded.
10. I’m not pudgy, I’m pleasingly plump.
11. I’m not overweight, I’m under-tall.
12. I’m not fat, I’m just living in high definition.
13. I’m not chubby, I’m big-hearted.
14. I’m not large, I just supersize everything.
15. I’m not heavy, I’m just gravity-resistant.
16. I’m not fat, I’m just swollen with awesomeness.
17. I’m not overweight, I’m under-heightened.
18. I’m not fat, I just have a higher gravity pull.
19. I’m not hefty, I’m just abundantly blessed.
20. I’m not fat, I’m just a gravitational force to be reckoned with.

Feasting on Fun (Pun Juxtaposition)

1. I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it. Especially if it’s fried calamari.
2. She said I couldn’t pull off a fat suit for Halloween. Well, we’ll see, because the elastic is starting to give in.
3. My doctor said I should watch my weight, but I prefer to watch Netflix instead.
4. I tried to lose weight, but then I realized I was just making light of the situation.
5. People say I’m fat, but I think they’re just jelly.
6. I’m on a high-calorie diet. I count the calories until they finally hit an all-time high.
7. They say exercise is a key to a long life, but I prefer to unlock the fridge instead.
8. My doctor said I should go on a low-fat diet, but I think I’ll just stick to my low standards instead.
9. I’ve been trying to find a balance between eating healthy and eating everything in sight. It’s a work in progress.
10. I was going to go on a diet, but I decided I’m too much of a big deal to give up cake.
11. I used to be in shape. Round is a shape, right?
12. Some people say running is a great way to lose weight, but I find that running late for snacks has the same effect.
13. They say beauty is on the inside. Well, so are the extra slices of pizza.
14. My doctor recommended regular exercise, so I tried hauling my groceries up the stairs. Turns out, lifting a bag of chips doesn’t count.
15. I’m big-boned, or at least that’s how I justify finishing a whole pizza by myself.
16. They say dressing well makes you look slimmer, so I bought a gown made entirely of lettuce.
17. I’ve tried dieting, but nothing seems to work. I guess my body just loves being the life of the patty.
18. I thought about going on a diet until I realized that “die” is part of the word. No, thanks!
19. I’m not overweight, I’m just under-tall for my weight.
20. I can’t help being fat; it’s genetic. My grandpa was a refrigerator.

Chubby Chortles: Fat Puns in Names

1. Calorie L. Jenkins
2. Chunk Norris
3. Biggie Cheeseburger
4. Rounda Rousey
5. Flora Butterfield
6. Heavy McWeighty
7. Wanda Waistline
8. Morris Muffintop
9. Pastry Poundstone
10. Graham Cracker
11. Olive Oiliver
12. Dorito Herrera
13. Patty Pancakes
14. Biscuit Barden
15. Obese-iah Johnson
16. Larda Laura
17. Tommy Tater Tot
18. Butterball Bobby
19. Donut Delight
20. Sugar Lumpkin

A Heavy Dose of Word Play (Flabby Spoonerisms)

1. Bat puns
2. Lat funs
3. Hat puns
4. Mat buns
5. Sat puns
6. Cat puns
7. Nat runs
8. Rat muns
9. Tar puns
10. Vat puns
11. Gnat puns
12. Wat puns
13. Pat tons
14. Gat huns
15. Fat sons
16. Hat fons
17. Nat gunds
18. Wat fons
19. Kat muns
20. Bat nuns

Flab-ulous Phrases (Tom Swifties)

1. “I can’t believe how fast I ate that whole pizza,” said Tom greedily.
2. “I wish I could fit in these skinny jeans,” Tom said heavily.
3. “I can’t resist another bite of cake,” Tom said indulgently.
4. “I can’t find my phone,” Tom said thinly.
5. “Why do I always get the bigger size?” Tom said largely.
6. “I can’t believe I finished all the ice cream,” Tom said chillingly.
7. “I’ll have seconds and thirds,” Tom said hungrily.
8. “I need to start exercising,” Tom said heavily.
9. “I can’t get enough of these donuts,” Tom said ravenously.
10. “I need a diet plan,” Tom said weightily.
11. “This candy bar is calling my name,” Tom said temptingly.
12. “I can’t squeeze into this shirt anymore,” Tom said stoutly.
13. “I need to shed these extra pounds,” Tom said determinedly.
14. “This buffet has my name written all over it,” Tom said salivatingly.
15. “I think I gained a few pounds just looking at that dessert,” Tom said gluttonously.
16. “I’ll never say no to a bacon cheeseburger,” Tom said with relish.
17. “I feel like a beached whale,” Tom said heavily.
18. “Why do I always end up with the jumbo-sized portions?” Tom said expansively.
19. “I think I need to lose some weight,” Tom said ponderously.
20. I need a double scoop of ice cream to cool down,” Tom said sweatily.

Slimming and Chubbying Up: Weighty Oxymoronic Puns

1. I’m on a weight-watching diet, but I still can’t resist a cheesecake shake.
2. I’m exercising to get in shape, but I always end up eating a slice of cake.
3. My doctor said I should watch my fat intake, so I switched to a diet of deep-fried salad.
4. I’m trying to lose weight, but my love for bacon is weighing me down.
5. I’m working out to get my body beach-ready, but chips and dips are my weakness.
6. I’m slimming down, yet my love for pizza only seems to grow.
7. I’m trying to shed pounds, but the pull of donuts is just too strong.
8. I’m eating healthier, but my fridge is still full of chocolate bars.
9. I’m trying to fit into my old jeans, but my passion for ice cream keeps expanding.
10. I’m counting calories, but my love for french fries just multiplies.
11. I’m hitting the gym regularly, but the call of cookies is hard to resist.
12. I’m exercising to get toned, but my love for burgers makes me feel round.
13. I’m trying to get in shape, but my stomach demands daily dessert.
14. I’m working on my abs, but my love for nachos is hard to crunch.
15. I’m trying to slim down, but my passion for fried chicken is hard to deny.
16. I’m trying to get fit, but my love for pasta leaves me feeling carb-loaded.
17. I’m watching my weight, but the allure of chocolate melts my willpower.
18. I’m trying to lose weight, but my heart belongs to creamy mac and cheese.
19. I’m working on my fitness, but my cravings for donuts don’t diminish.
20. I’m on a weight loss journey, but my love for butter-drenched popcorn never wavers.

Recursive Calories (Fat Puns)

1. Why did the weighing scale get a promotion? It always knows how to “weigh in” on important matters!
2. Did you hear about the overweight mathematician? He was always adding on the pounds!
3. I told my friend I’m on a seafood diet – I see food and eat it! But he replied, “Looks like you’re on a see-food diet!”
4. My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I started following it on Instagram.
5. Why don’t fat people go on amusement park rides? They know how to “roll” with it better!
6. Did you hear about the baker who only made large pastries? They said he had “too much dough” on his hands!
7. I tried to have a conversation with my overweight friend about dieting, but it always turned into a “heavy” debate!
8. Why did the overweight computer programmer refuse to scale back his projects? He always needed that extra “byte” of energy!
9. My friend said he could eat an entire pizza by himself. I replied, “That takes a lot of ‘pizz-azz’!”
10. I found out the secret to a successful weight loss regimen – “skip dessert” spelled backward is “stressed”!
11. Why did the overweight musician become a conductor? He wanted to “orchestrate” his weight loss journey!
12. I tried to give my overweight friend some dietary advice, but he said it was just “food for thought”!
13. Did you hear about the heavy soda drinker who joined a gym? He was “dedicated” to getting in shape – or at least trying “diet”!
14. My overweight friend always says he’s “big-boned,” but I think he’s just “underestimating” the situation!
15. Why did the heavyset artist choose oil paintings? Because they always “expand” their horizons!
16. I asked my overweight friend if he wanted to go for a run. He replied, “I don’t run, I jog ‘in place’!”.
17. Did you hear about the overweight athlete who competed in a marathon? He won second place – they said he was a “big runner-up”!
18. I tried to motivate my overweight friend to exercise, but all he does is “weight” around!
19. Why are gyms full of mirrors? Because “reflection” is a key part of a successful workout!
20. I asked the overweight magician to perform a trick. He made his weight “?disappear!”

Flipping the Scale of Clichés (Puns on Fat Puns)

1. I’m not chubby, I’m just easier to see in a crowd.
2. My weight is just extra insulation; I’m always warm and cozy!
3. I don’t sweat, I’m just sparkling with enthusiasm.
4. I’m not overweight, I’m underly tall!
5. My curves are just proof that I’m well-rounded.
6. I’m not fat, I’m just gravitationally enhanced!
7. I’m not chunky, I’m just a body positivity advocate.
8. My love for food is just my appetite for life!
9. I don’t have rolls, I have perfect doughnuts!
10. I’m not overweight, I’m just ahead of the weight-loss trend.
11. I’m not plump, I’m just juicy.
12. I refuse to be called fat; I prefer to be called fluffy!
13. I’m not heavy, I’m just down to earth.
14. I’m not chubby, I’m just extra huggable!
15. I don’t diet, I’m just bulking up for hugs!
16. I’m not fat, I’m just a gravitational force of attraction.
17. I’m not large, I’m just expanding my horizons.
18. I’m not heavy, I’m just storing happiness for later!
19. I’m not fat, I’m just a little too short for my weight.
20. I’m not overweight, I’m just a walking and talking soft pillow.

In conclusion, these 200+ hilariously fun fat puns have surely lightened up your day! If you’re craving more pun-tastic content, be sure to check out our website for a truckload of other puns that will keep you laughing. We appreciate you taking the time to visit our site, and we hope to see you back soon for more laughter-inducing puns!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.