220 December Puns: Chillingly Funny Jokes to Break the Ice this Winter

Punsteria Team
december puns

The winter season is upon us and what better way to break the ice than with some chilly and hilarious puns? From Santa’s bad puns to frosty wordplay, we’ve gathered over 200 pun-tastic jokes to keep you laughing all December long. Whether you’re decking the halls or just trying to stay warm, these puns are guaranteed to put a smile on your face. So grab a cup of cocoa, cozy up by the fire, and get ready to be snowed under with laughter. Here are 200+ December puns that are sure to sleigh this winter season!

“Dashing through the puns” (Editors Pick)

1. Why did Santa named his reindeer after weather fronts in December?
Because Rudolph the Red-Nosed Foggy Night didn’t have the same ring to it.

2. Why do programmers prefer Advent calendars to Christmas calendars?
Because they always want to start counting from zero.

3. What do you call a person who is afraid of December 25th?
Santa Claus-trophobic

4. Why did the snowman refuse to eat the December calendar?
Because he heard it had dates on it.

5. Why was December favorite month of the college football team?
Because they win no Bowl and sleep all January.

6. What did Santa’s accountant say when he looked over the books in December?
It looks like you’re in the red again, Claus!

7. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman, of course!

8. What do snowmen do when they want to communicate using body language?
They use finger flakes.

9. How do snowmen stay connected during the holidays?
They use a blizzard of social media.

10. What did the Christmas tree say to the snowman?
“I’m fir real!”

11. Why did the Grinch decide to rob a bank in December?
He wanted to steal Christmas.

12. Why did the snowman refuse to go inside the house?
Because he knew he’d just melt away.

13. What do you call a snowman with a defective internal thermostat?
A puddle.

14. What did the wise men say when they first saw baby Jesus?
“Gold, frankincense, and myrrh… is that enough to pay for a baby carriage?”

15. What does Frosty the Snowman call his rumored girlfriend?
His alleged icy.

16. What do snowmen say when they complain about the weather?
We’ve really hit a blizzard.

17. What do you call a group of people who dislike December?
The wintry mix.

18. How does Santa’s sleigh fly in the air?
It uses mistle-throttle!

19. What do you call people who sing Christmas carols door-to-door?
Jingle lobbyists.

20. What did the snowman say to the other snowman? “Hey, do you smell carrots?”

December Delights (One-liner Puns)

1. Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho!
2. December always gets the cold shoulder.
3. The only thing getting lit this December are the candles on the menorah.
4. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He felt crummy.
5. I love December because it’s the only month where eating candy canes for breakfast is acceptable.
6. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs? Anything you want, he can’t hear you.
7. I’m dreaming of a white Christmas… but if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red.
8. December is like a Friday for the whole month.
9. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.
10. If you put your left stocking on first, it will always be the “right stocking” from then on.
11. I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. My mom told me he was diagnosed with COVID-19 and had to quarantine at the North Pole.
12. What snack do Christmas elves make? Santa crackers.
13. I’m counting down the days until December 32nd.
14. What do you get when you put candles in cupcakes on December 26th? Birthday cakes for Jesus.
15. Why is it always cold and snowy in December? Because abominable snowmen get lonely and need company.
16. How do you protect a Christmas tree? With a fir-arm!
17. I asked my dad if we could put up the Christmas tree. He said sure, knock yourself out. So I rammed my head into it.
18. What do you call a group of reindeer playing instruments? A jingle band.
19. Why do Christmas lights get tangled so easily? Because they have a twisted sense of humor.
20. December: A month of joy, love, and reminding your loved ones to bring you gifts.

Don’t “Yule” want to miss these December puns! (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. Why do we decorate trees in December? Because they look spruce-tacular!
2. Why did Santa go to college? To improve his clauses!
3. Why did the Grinch rob the bank on December 31st? To finally make a clean getaway in the new year!
4. Why did the gingerbread man go to the doctor? He was feeling crummy.
5. Why was the snowman clean-shaven? He preferred an ice-smooth face.
6. Why did the elf go on strike? He wanted thing-a-ma-jiggy to get a raise.
7. Why was the present sad? It had a bow-tie’d up inside.
8. Why did the ornament go to jail? It was caught hanging around a bad crowd.
9. Why did the Christmas wreath get a promotion? It was outstanding-in-its-field.
10. Why did the reindeer wear a bell? He wanted to jingle all the way.
11. Why did the snowflake go to the bank? It wanted to get a flurry of withdrawals.
12. Why did the fruitcake go to the therapist? It was feeling a bit nutty.
13. Why did the mistletoe get a ticket? It was hanging in a no-kiss zone.
14. Why did Santa buy a new garden bed? He wanted to Ho! Ho! Ho! his greens.
15. Why did the Christmas pudding go to the ocean? It wanted to be a figgy swimming.
16. Why did the Christmas lights break up? They just couldn’t get a-good-socket.
17. Why was the Christmas turkey never invited to dinners? It was a-fowl mood all the time.
18. Why did the snowman refuse to wear a cap? It wanted to let its hair down!
19. Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? It had a case of pine-terest.
20. Why did the chimney feel cool this December? It was feeling flu-ray.

“Deck the Halls with Punny Laughter: Double Entendre December Delights”

1. “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas, but if that fails, there’s always snow lingerie.”
2. What do December and Cinderella’s pumpkin have in common? They both turn into something magical at midnight.”
3. “I’m not saying December is the best month, but it’s really sleigh-ing the game.”
4. “Why did the ornament go to the doctor? It had tinsel-itis.”
5. “December is the mistletoe-likely month to hook up in.”
6. “Why did the Santa retire? He was elf-destructing.”
7. What is Santa’s favorite kind of pizza? One with extra sleigh-sage.
8. “Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.”
9. “December is when the grinch’s heart gets three sizes larger. That’s quite a growth spurt!”
10. “What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.”
11. “Why did Frosty go to live in a fridge? His performance on the snow was icy.”
12. “What did Mariah Carey want for Christmas? All she wanted was you – to spend $400 on tickets to her holiday concert!
13. “Why was Santa’s sleigh so slow? It kept stopping for ho-ho-traffic!”
14. What did the naughty little elves get for Christmas? Coal hard cash.”
15. “Why was Santa’s belt so tight? He had a big tummy, and he was afraid he might Nord-pole it.”
16. “What do you call Santa when he accidentally falls into a fireplace? Krisp Kringle.”
17. “Why did Santa go to a therapist? He was starting to feel claustrophobic in his workshop.”
18. “What do you call a December that’s been stolen? A jolly theft-mas.”
19. “Why did the Christmas tree get a divorce? It caught its partner being a little light on commitment.”
20. “What do you call an advent calendar with no chocolate? Just a Yuletide reminder of your mundane life.”

Dashing December Puns: Witty Wordplay for the Winter Season

1. December is the month to remember.
2. The cold weather is snow problem for me.
3. I’m so excited for winter break, I can’t snow it.
4. I’m pine-ing for a white Christmas.
5. I’m feeling frosty today.
6. It’s snow joke that winter is here.
7. I have a flurry of activity planned for this month.
8. I feel like I’m walking in a winter wonderland.
9. I’m such a candy cane topper when it comes to decorating.
10. I’m sleighing the holiday gift game this year.
11. I’m Clark Griswolding my house for the holidays.
12. My bank account is taking a bit of an elf-a hit this month.
13. I’m a real mistle-toe-holic.
14. My holiday cheer is at an all-time elf.
15. I’m more excited than Rudolph on Christmas Eve.
16. I’m having a holly, jolly December so far.
17. I’m trying to stay wrapped up in the holiday spirit.
18. I’m feeling like a Christmas elf, working hard to spread cheer.
19. It’s snow problem if I get a little carried away with the holiday decorations.
20. I’m dreaming of a white December.

Decemb-Puns Galore! (Pun Juxtaposition)

1. December is a great time to invest in stocks – Jingle Bell/Silent Night
2. I can’t wait to decorate my home with trees – One for Christmas, other for Kindle
3. This December, I’ll be taking stock by the fireplace – I’m investing in warmth
4. I moved to a winter wonderland – it’s snow joke
5. December is the month to get festive with friends – Yule Be Sorry if you miss it
6. I love December – It’s snow joke that is one of my favourite months
7. Your Christmas decorations are really lit – No Electricity bills I guess
8. Planning a great December – Berry Good Time
9. Why can’t you take a sleigh to work? – Because it’s a snow day
10. I can never remember Decembers – they just seem to fly
11. I’ll be hibernating this December – That’s just my Polar Plan
12. You can’t make a mistake in December – All’s fayre in love and decorations
13. This Christmas, I’ll be dreaming of a Winter Wonderland – it’s the Snowbie effect
14. I hate to snow this, but December can be tough– just chill out
15. Put the Holly in your Jolly for a great December
16. I prepared for winter – it was all downhill from there
17. December is the time to be merry – Just shore you get enough rest
18. You’re a gift – No wrapping required
19. Let’s make it the jolliest December yet – No present unelected
20. The key to a successful December – Frost come, Frost served

Deck the Halls with Puns of December (Puns in December-related Names)

1. Decem-beer: A bar that only serves beer in December.
2. Decemburger: A burger joint that is only open in December.
3. Decem-brrr: A winter-themed ice cream shop.
4. Decem-bear: A bear-themed gift shop for the holiday season.
5. Santata Claus: A Santa impersonator who performs as a DJ.
6. North Pool: A swimming pool that’s transformed into a winter wonderland.
7. Yule-etide: A store that sells holiday decorations and candles.
8. Reindew Drops: A candy store that specializes in reindeer-themed treats.
9. Merry & Brightside: A mental health clinic that helps people cope with holiday stress.
10. Holly-Jolly-Lawn: A landscaping business that decorates yards with festive lights.
11. Decem-barks: A dog grooming salon that offers holiday-themed makeovers.
12. Tinsel Town: A movie theater that only screens classic holiday films.
13. Jingle Belle: A bridal shop that specializes in winter weddings.
14. Sleigh Queen: A boutique that sells formalwear for holiday parties.
15. Sable Claws: A pet store that offers accessories for exotic animals.
16. Let it Snow Cone: A shaved ice stand that’s open exclusively in the winter.
17. Yuletide Yummies: A bakery that features holiday-themed treats.
18. Wreath Rover: A car rental service that decorates vehicles for the holidays.
19. Sleigh & Stay: A bed and breakfast that’s styled like a cozy cabin.
20. Mistletoe Mansion: A real estate agency that specializes in properties with holiday decor.

December Delight: Dashing Through the Punning Snow (Spoonerisms)

1. Wishing you a Merry Dismember!
2. Get ready for the cold snowing of December blow!
3. Have a hoppy Chistmas!
4. Time for a birthday merry Christmoose!
5. Santa’s cringing bad chris-jokes!
6. Sleigh the bells!
7. Let’s have a beery Hap-mew Year!
8. May your festives be fizzle and bright!
9. Hoping you have a sprite-christmas!
10. Very Merry Fist-mas!
11. Soup-er holidays to you and yours!
12. Have a very Bery Hap-moo Year!
13. Cheers to a Berried Christmas!
14. Let’s have a merry chiss-mas!
15. Deck the stalls with horse of Holly!
16. Happy Jolly Dismas!
17. Time for a frosty balled snowman!
18. Let’s have a herry Jap-mew Year!
19. Fa-la-la-llama-la-christmas!
20. Have a berry-merry Jingle Boels!

Decem-puns (Tom Swifties)

1. “December always puts me in a giving mood,” said Tom, charitably.
2. “I love the holidays,” Tom said December-ly.
3. “This chilly weather is simply unbearable,” Tom complained frigidly.
4. “I can’t wait for the snow to fall,” Tom said precipitously.
5. “I’m glad the year is ending,” Tom said lastly.
6. “I really enjoy drinking hot chocolate,” Tom said steamily.
7. “The end of December always makes me feel nostalgic,” Tom said wistfully.
8. “I can’t believe it’s almost Christmas!” Tom exclaimed festively.
9. “I hate being cold,” Tom complained frostily.
10. “I’m feeling quite merry today,” Tom said cheerfully.
11. “This is the perfect time for a winter vacation,” Tom said snowily.
12. “I’m so excited for New Year’s Eve,” Tom said eagerly.
13. My Christmas shopping is finally finished,” Tom said finally.
14. “I can’t wait to see what presents I’ll get,” Tom said giftedly.
15. “The Christmas lights are so beautiful,” Tom said brightly.
16. “I really enjoy the scent of pine trees,” Tom said evergreenly.
17. “I could really use some time off from work,” Tom said holiday.
18. “I’m feeling quite cozy today,” Tom said snugly.
19. “I can’t believe it’s almost a new year already,” Tom said yearly.
20. I love having family over during the holidays,” Tom said warmly.

Contradictory Holidays: December Puns (Oxymoronic Puns)

1. Why did the snowman turn yellow when he drank hot cocoa in December? Because he melted while freezing.
2. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
3. Why did Santa visit the bank in December? To check his balance.
4. What do you call a grumpy reindeer? An elf-defense mechanism.
5. Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber in December? Because she wanted a trim-ming.
6. Why did the gingerbread man refuse to run in December? Because he was afraid he’d crumble under the pressure.
7. What do you call a snowman with a fever? A melt-in’.
8. Why did the snowman refuse to wear a scarf in December? Because he was already well-wrapped.
9. What do you call a Christmas wreath that won’t stop talking? Mistleeeeek.
10. Why did the Grinch cancel his dentist appointment in December? Because he already had a green tooth.
11. Why did the elf refuse to sit on Santa’s lap in December? Because he didn’t want to give him the wrong impression.
12. What do you call a Christmas present wrapped in toilet paper? A white-elephant gift.
13. Why did the reindeer enroll at a summer school in December? To learn how to fly south.
14. What do you call a fruitcake that’s been through the dishwasher? Clean eats.
15. Why did Scrooge hire a personal chef in December? So he could eat humble pie without straining his wallet.
16. What do you call a belated Christmas card? A miss-tletoe
17. Why did the snowman refuse to take a shower in December? Because he didn’t want to wash off his holiday spirit.
18. What do you call a Christmas tree with a flat tire? A pine-yada.
19. Why did Frosty the Snowman refuse to wear a mask in December? Because he didn’t want to cover his cold sores.
20. Why did the elf refuse to accept a bribe in December? Because he was an honest-john.

Deck the Halls with Recursive Puns (December Puns)

1. My friend said he bought a Christmas tree made out of recycled materials. I said, “So it’s an eco-tree-mber!”

2. Why did the snowman wear a scarf on December 31st? Because it was New Year’s Eve-a.

3. I asked my friend what his favorite thing about December was, and he said “It’s the 12th month of the year.” I said, “You mean Dec-ember, right?”

4. What did the December calendar say to its new owner? “I hope you have a very timely month!”

5. My coworker told me she was planning on making a grand feast for her family this December. I said, “So it’s going to be a Dec-em-banquet!”

6. Why did the turkey refuse to come to the December holiday party? Because it was already a nom-vember.

7. My brother told me he was going to create a time-traveling advent calendar this December. I said, “So you’re going to have a Dec-embark on a journey through time?”

8. Why do reindeer like to read mysteries in December? Because they enjoy Rudolph the red-herring.

9. What did the ornament say to the Christmas tree? “You light up my Dec-ember night!”

10. Why was Santa hanging out in the kitchen this December? He was trying to whip up some Dec-em-batches of cookies.

11. What did Frosty the Snowman say to his wife in December? “I’m so glad we’re Dec-em-buried to each other.”

12. Why did the Scrooge decide to be good during December? Because it was the right Dec-embertunity to turn over a new leaf.

13. What did the chef say to the December snowflake cookies he was baking? “You’re going to look so Dec-em-delicious.”

14. Why did the December snowflake decide to go to the gym? To stay in Dec-em-shape.

15. Why did the December snowman try to avoid the December sun? He didn’t want to have a case of Dec-em-melting.

16. Why did December decide to become a member of the choir? So he could be a Dec-em-ber of the group.

17. What did the December party-goer say when he saw the room decorations? “This is really Dec-em-bling!”

18. Why did the December weather decide to be extra cold this year? So it could bring on some Dec-em-ber weather.

19. What did the December tree say to the gift-wrapped presents underneath it? “You’re a Dec-em-ber bouquet of presents!”

20. Why were the December bells so happy to ring out their music? They wanted to make it a Dec-em-ber to remember.

Mistletoe-mingling with December Puns (Puns on Christmas Clichés)

1. December always puts me in a stocking mood.
2. I’m snowed under with work this December.
3. I’m hoping for a mistle-toast this Christmas.
4. I’ll be ringing in the New Year with a champagne flute-ful.
5. My holiday stress is snowballing out of control.
6. I’ll be decking the halls with bells and collies.
7. I want to sleigh my holiday shopping this year.
8. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to tell puns loud for all to hear.
9. I’m getting too old for this mistletoe-and-make-out business.
10. I’m glad it’s cold outside, otherwise Santa might have a meltdown.
11. This winter, I’m all about the brrr-ead pudding.
12. I’m dreaming of a right jolly holly-day.
13. In December, I stockpile all my puns – I have a lot of elf-control.
14. I’m going to have a wrap battle with my gift wrapping skills this year.
15. December is no time for a silent flight.
16. I can hardly sleigh to see my family this Christmas.
17. I like to make my Christmas presents sound more pun-derful than they are.
18. I’m starting to think my Christmas tree skirt is just a fake fur-midable.
19. I tried to write a Christmas poem, but my mind went on a December-tion.
20. December is both the most wonderful time of the year and the most snowly.

As we come to the end of this article, we hope that you have had a good laugh and that these December puns have brought a little warmth to your heart amidst the cold weather. If you want more puns and humor, be sure to explore our website, where you’ll find a variety of articles that will keep you entertained. Thank you for taking your time to visit our site, and we hope you have a happy and pun-filled winter season!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.