Irresistible Bagel Puns: 200+ Deliciously Witty and Glazing Wordplays to Indulge In

Punsteria Team
bagel puns

Are you ready to rise to the occasion and indulge in the carb-tastic world of bagel puns? Look no further! This article has over 200 puns that are sure to make your mouth water and your belly ache from laughter. From poppy seed to everything bagels, we have a pun for every type of bagel lover. Get ready to cream cheese yourself as you devour these deliciously witty wordplays. Don’t be a bagel-donut, share these puns with your friends and watch as their faces become filled with dough light. So grab a cup of coffee and let’s get started on this journey of dough-licious puns!

Bagelicious Wordplay (Editors Pick)

1. A bagel is just a donut that has seen the truth.
2. I’m not a morning person, but I am a bagel person.
3. Have you heard about the new bagel shop? It’s going gluten free, but they’re keeping the lox.
4. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy bagels, and that’s pretty much the same thing.
5. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.
6. I just made a new bagel spread. It’s call “Lethal Jalapeño.”
7. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel!
8. Every time I see a bagel, I get a little dough-eyed.
9. Did you hear about the bagel who graduated from college? It got a degree in Rye-technolgy.
10. I’d rather have a hole in my bagel than in my wallet.
11. Why did the bagel join the softball team? Because it was a great poppy seed.
12. I don’t trust people who don’t like bagels. It’s a little bit “looney-tuna.”
13. I like my bagels like I like my humor- dry.
14. Some people just can’t handle the “everything” bagel.
15. Why did the bagel chef get arrested? He was caught spreading cream cheese.
16. I like my bagels like I like my hair- twisted.
17. Bagels are like what happens when a pretzel and a donut have a love child.
18. I’m so lox-sensitive, I get emotional when I see a bagel.
19. You know what the ultimate bagel is? A “hole-y” donut.
20. Why did the bagel get a passport? To see the world and b-rye-nd itself.

Bagelicious Bites (One-liner Puns)

1. I got in trouble for stealing a bagel, but it was my around-the-lox defense.
2. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was feeling a little loopy.
3. I have a friend who sells bagels, he’s making a lot of dough.
4. When the bagel shop burned down, it was a real tragedy. There were burnt bagels everywhere.
5. Why did the bagel join the army? It wanted to become a dough-boy.
6. I thought I’d learned everything I needed to know about bagels, but there was a whole other dimension.
7. If at first, you don’t succeed at making bagels, try, try again. That’s called adding lox to your stock.
8. When it comes to bagels, I don’t care how you slice it.
9. Why did the bagel have a hole in the middle? So you could see the cheese.
10. I don’t like to brag about it, but I make really good bagels. You could say I’m a hole-y artisan.
11. I’ve started a bagel diet, I’m carb-loading for the apocalypse.
12. Did you hear about the bagel that won the lottery? It got seeded.
13. Why are bagels so calm? They need their daily dose of peace-lox.
14. I was going to make a joke about bagels, but it was too shallot.
15. Bagel puns are like the rolls that didn’t rise, they’re just flat out hilarious.
16. I’m not a morning person, but I’ll rise and shine for a good bagel.
17. Why don’t bagels get married? They’re too independent-lox.
18. The baker’s wife was furious when he brought home a bunch of stale bagels. He said they’d make a good pedestal.
19. How do you make a holy bagel? Use a divine recipe.
20. I asked the bagel if it wanted anything from the store. It replied, ‘Sesame.’

Bagel Banters (Question-and-Answer Puns)

1. What did the Everything Bagel say to the Plain Bagel? “You’re just not my type. We don’t have that much in Fluent in common.”
2. How do bagels like to travel? On the Lox Express!
3. How do you make a bagel laugh? Put a little Smear Campaign on it.
4. Why did the bagel go to school? To get a “flour” degree!
5. What do you call a bagel that can fly? A plain bagel-eagle!
6. Why did the bagel break up with the croissant? It was just a flaky relationship.
7. How do you know if a bagel is a morning person? It rises early!
8. Why did the bagel go to meditation class? To find inner pizza.
9. What do you call a bagel that’s a great singer? Adele Bagel!
10. Why did the bagel refuse to go for a jog? It wasn’t feeling very “loafly”.
11. How do you butter up a bagel? With a lot of compliments!
12. Why don’t bagels make good detectives? They always have a hole in their investigations.
13. What’s a bagel’s favorite game show? Wheel of Four-Cheese Fortune!
14. Why did the bagel go to work? It kneaded the dough.
15. What do you call a bagel who’s popular on social media? An “insta-Dough” influencer.
16. Why did the bagel get in trouble? It had a bad “rye-d” attitude.
17. How do you make a bagel nervous? Toast its buns.
18. Why did the bagel go to the beach? It wanted to see the “graham-scenery”.
19. What do you call a bagel with a criminal record? A convict-bagel.
20. How does a bagel greet its friends? With a friendly “rye” smile!

Hole-y Laughter: Double Entendre Puns on Bagel Puns

1. Did you hear about the bagel that went to space? It was out of this world.
2. I love my bagels with some schmear on it, it’s my bagel’s spread eagle.
3. Do you have a favorite bagel flavor? Mine is “everything.” It’s like a little party on my plate.
4. Some people like their bagels with a hole in the middle, others prefer them filled. It’s a personal preference.
5. Bagels are perfect for when you want a quick Hole-y experience.
6. Bagels are bread that went to college.
7. How do you know if a bagel is religious? It’s Holy.
8. Bagels are like a hug from the inside.
9. My doctor told me to cut down on my bagel intake. He said I needed a whole new lifestyle.
10. I told my friend to stop eating so many bagels and she said “I just can’t resist their steamy goodness.”
11. Why couldn’t the bagel be paid for? Because it was bread on credit.
12. I can never finish a whole bagel. I always end up with just a bagel bite.
13. Bagels taste even better on Sunday mornings because they’re the hole-y day.
14. Why was the bagel mad at his wife? She kept eating all of his cream cheese.
15. What do you call a bagel that can fly? Plane bagel.
16. I love to eat my bagels in bed. Sometimes I even get crumbs all over the sheets. It’s my idea of a breakfast in bed.
17. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little “dough”-zy.
18. I tried to make my own bagels at home, but they were a little lackluster. It turns out, I had bitten off more than I could chew.
19. I don’t like my bagels too crispy, I like them soft and chewy. It’s just a better experience.
20. Bagels are like a work of art. Except in this case, the hole is the centerpiece.

Bagelicious Witty Wordplay (Puns in Bagel Idioms)

1. It’s such a hole-some treat!
2. This is knot your average bagel.
3. It’s a bit cheesy, but I’ll still take a bite.
4. Don’t worry, I’ll take a Lox of extra cream cheese.
5. I’ll never bagel on you.
6. Let’s get this bagel rolling!
7. I’m on a roll with this bagel pun.
8. Don’t bagel out on me now.
9. I’m a-hole for bagels.
10. I’ll rise to any occasion with a bagel.
11. You’ve got to bagel-ieve me on this one!
12. This bagel is a hole new level of deliciousness.
13. In bagel we crust.
14. Thank you for making me hole with this bagel.
15. It’s hard not to bagel in love with this.
16. This is the wheel deal of bagels.
17. I’m totally lox-in’ it!
18. You’re the bagel to my cream cheese.
19. I’m sorry if I’m getting a bit caraway-zy.
20. Don’t be a scaredy bagel, try it!

Bagelicious Jokes (Pun Juxtaposition)

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up bagels!
2. No matter how you slice it, a bagel is always a hole in one.
3. My friend asked me to explain what a bagel was and I told him it’s a donut in a carb’s clothing.
4. What do you call a bagel that flies? A plain bagel.
5. I told my friend I was going to start a business selling bagels with a side of cream cheese, and she called it bagel-icious.
6. Why did the sesame bagel have to go to jail? It got caught loafing around.
7. Why was the little bagel upset? Because it was feeling a little hole-some.
8. I heard someone stole a bagel from the convenience store, but they didn’t get very far because the cops were already on a roll.
9. I don’t trust gluten-free bagels. They always seem like they’re just a shadow of their dough-y selves.
10. Why did the bagel go to the doctor? It was filling a little runny.
11. I love cinnamon raisin bagels because they’re raisin the bar for breakfast food.
12. My friend told me that the best way to eat a bagel is to put it in the toaster, so I responded with “that’s an idea I can get toasted to”.
13. I had a dream that I was on a bike ride and all of the trees had little bagels growing on them. I guess I was just experiencing carb-on-copy.
14. Have you tried a vegan bagel yet? Personally, I think bagels should always be mac-dough-ve.
15. Why did the bagel ghost haunt the deli? It couldn’t find piece(-s) with its ending.
16. Whenever I’m baking bagels, I make sure to use the imperial system because you can’t have too much flour power.
17. Why did the pumpernickel bagel go on strike? It loafed too much.
18. I got lost while trying to find the bagel shop, so I asked for directions and someone told me “just follow the smell, it’s scent-ral station”.
19. I love garlic bagels because they’re seasoned enough to make it past the gatekeeper of my tongue.
20. What kind of bagel can fly? A plain bagel-eon.

Bitingly Funny Bagel Puns

1. Bagel O’Reilly
2. Don Bagelone
3. Bagelicious
4. Bagel and Tag
5. Holy Bagel!
6. Bready or Not
7. Dough-some Bagels
8. Bagel Meister
9. Hole-y Grail
10. Bagel Bros
11. Bagel Bites
12. Bagel Oasis
13. Bagel Brigade
14. Lovin’ from the Oven
15. Bagel Barn
16. Everything Bagelton
17. Bageliciously Baked
18. Bagel Emporium
19. Bagel Bonanza
20. Dough-licious Bagels

Bun in the Oven: Bagel Spoonerisms that’ll Give You a Rise

1. “Bream chagels” (cream cheese bagels)
2. “Grab a bight” (bag a bite)
3. “Belly dagels” (deli bagels)
4. Mid berry” (bid merry)
5. “Dagel befits” (bagel defits)
6. “Doider bog” (boider dog)
7. “Frosted slack” (toasted black)
8. “Lueberry bug” (blueberry bag)
9. Rassy foot” (fussy rat)
10. “Bircher flicks” (fercher blicks)
11. “Lazy buns” (baizy luns)
12. “Ginger bags” (binger gags)
13. Tootal rail” (rootal tail)
14. “Frisky clack” (crispy flack)
15. Sprinkle marple” (minkle spark)
16. “Sagely butt” (bagely sutt)
17. “Herby tummy” (terby hummy)
18. “Legion blub” (region blue)
19. “Tarty beed” (bart red)
20. “Wabber gaffle” (grabber waffle)

Bagelicious Banter (Tom Swifties)

1. “I’ll have a bagel with cream cheese,” said Tom, schmearfully.
2. “I can never choose just one kind of bagel,” Tom tried to be assort-mintive.
3. “I’ll take my bagel toasted and lightly buttered,” Tom said with crispness.
4. “I love everything bagels,” Tom said with a hole-heart.
5. “This sesame seed bagel has tons of flavor,” Tom said with seeds of approval.
6. “I’m in a rush, can I get a quick bagel?” Tom inquired hastily.
7. “I don’t always eat bagels, but when I do, I prefer poppy seed,” said Tom, with do-lessness.
8. “This bagel is a new flavor for me,” Tom said curiously.
9. “I always feel satisfied after eating a bagel,” Tom said with dough-tification.
10. “This bagel is so delicious, I could eat another one,” Tom said digestively.
11. “I’ll take a bagel with lox and a side of puns,” Tom said amusingly.
12. “This bagel has a nice chewy texture,” Tom said with chomp-etency.
13. “I can’t decide if I want a bagel or a donut,” Tom said indecisively.
14. “This bagel is too small,” Tom said shortly.
15. “This everything bagel is missing something,” Tom said with spice-pertise.
16. “I’ll take an onion bagel with cream cheese,” Tom said with pungency.
17. “I need a bagel to start my day,” Tom said with bready enthusiasm.
18. “This bagel has a perfect balance of savory and sweet,” Tom said with flap-jacknowledge.
19. “I prefer plain bagels,” Tom said salt-lessly.
20. I could eat bagels every day,” Tom said with carb appreciation.

Contradictory Carbohydrate Puns (Oxymoronic Bagel Puns)

1. An everything bagel with nothing on it.
2. A water bagel that’s dry as a bone.
3. A bagel with a hole that’s filled to the brim.
4. A plain bagel that’s anything but plain.
5. A round bagel with square edges.
6. A toasted bagel that’s still frozen.
7. A bagel that’s both sweet and sour.
8. An onion bagel without the tears.
9. A wheat bagel that’s gluten-free.
10. A jalapeño bagel that’s not spicy.
11. A bagel with cream cheese that’s dairy-free.
12. A cinnamon raisin bagel without the raisins.
13. A bagel with lox that’s vegetarian.
14. A poppy seed bagel that’s seedless.
15. A whole wheat bagel that’s half-baked.
16. An everything bagel with nothing but salt.
17. A bagel with bacon that’s vegetarian.
18. A bagel with caraway seeds that’s gluten-free.
19. A bagel that’s gluten-free but full of gluten.
20. A bagel with smoked salmon that’s vegan.

Bagelicious Wordplay (Recursive Puns on Bagels)

1. Why did the bagel go to the gym? To get a-dough-bled.
2. How do you make a bagel cry? You lox its parents.
3. I’ve never met a bagel I didn’t like, but I have met quite a few I didn’t love at yeast.
4. What’s a bagel’s favorite bedtime story? The Hole-y Bible.
5. Why did the bagel refuse to toast? He thought it would crumb his style.
6. Where do bagels like to go on vacation? Flour-ida.
7. What did the bagel say when it met the donut? “Whatever you can dough, I can dough better.”
8.What is the bagel’s favorite dance? The Twist and Knead.
9. Have you heard of the new high-protein bagel? You’re gluten-free to try it.
10. How does a bagel greet its friends? It takes a lox of effort.
11. I’m not saying I love bagels… but if bagels were available on Tinder I would definitely swipe right.
12. Why do bagels make terrible dancers? They have a tendency to flatten on the dance floor.
13. Why did the bagel break up with the cream cheese? She was too spread out.
14. What’s a bagel’s favorite cereal? Cheerios bagel bites.
15. My doctor told me I should be less bagel-centric. I told her I was gluten-free to try.
16. What do you call a bagel that flies? A plain bagel-in.
17. Why did the bagel join the golf club? He liked to putter around.
18. What did the chef say when he ran out of bagels? This is a real schmear.
19. Why did the bagel cross the road? To get to the Einstein Bros. Bagels on the other side!
20. How do you make a bagel sandwich? With cream cheese on both insides so it won’t bread.

Bagelling Around with Clichés (Puns on Cliches)

1. The early bird gets the bagel, but the late bird gets the day-old discount.
2. You can’t have your bagel and eat it too, unless you’re a magician.
3. When life gives you lemons, ask for a schmear for your bagel.
4. Actions speak louder than words, but a perfectly toasted bagel speaks volumes.
5. All is fair in love and bagels.
6. The grass is always greener on the other side, especially if they have an everything bagel.
7. It’s not over until the bagel sings.
8. Time heals all wounds, but a warm bagel heals the soul.
9. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few bagels.
10. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but a cinnamon raisin bagel makes it skip a beat.
11. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a sesame bagel.
12. There’s no use crying over spilled bagels.
13. There’s more than one way to toast a bagel.
14. A bagel a day keeps the doctor away… unless you have a gluten allergy.
15. Take the bagel by the horns.
16. Don’t count your bagels before they’re baked.
17. You can’t judge a bagel by its toppings.
18. Behind every great bagel is a great toaster.
19. A bird in the hand is worth two in the toaster.
20. The proof of the bagel is in the pudding.

In conclusion, we hope these bagel puns have filled you with laughter and hunger for some delicious doughy treats. If you can’t get enough of puns, make sure to check out our website for even more witty wordplays to indulge in. Thank you for taking the time to visit us, and remember, a day without puns is like a day without bagels – not worth living!

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Punsteria Team

We're the wordplay enthusiasts behind the puns you love. As lovers of all things punny, we've combined our passion for humor and wordplay to bring you Punsteria. Our team is dedicated to collecting and curating puns that will leave you laughing, groaning, and eager for more.