Get ready to drop everything and dive into the bowel of laughter with our collection of over 200 poop puns that are guaranteed to make even the stiffest upper lip quiver with giggles. These cheeky one-liners are so pun-derfully humorous, they’ll have you rolling with laughter before you can say “No. 2.” Perfect for lightening the mood or simply enjoying a little potty humor, our poop puns are curated to ensure you’re never caught in a stinky situation without a witty repartee. So whether you’re on the loo or just looking for a movement of mirth, this article is your go-to for a flush of fun and laughter. Seal the deal with your SEO quest and plunge into the rollicking world of poop puns that will tickle your funny bone and leave you wanting more!
Top-notch Turds: A Curated Collection of Poop Puns (Editors Pick)
1. I’m reading a book on the history of glue. Can’t put it down. It’s bound to be a sticky situation.
2. As an elevator technician, I’ve seen some ups and downs. It has its ups and downs.
3. How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? If he starts coffin.
4. I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help, but I stand corrected.
5. When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble.
6. Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.
7. I used to build stairs for a living. It’s an up and down business.
8. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
9. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
10. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.
11. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
12. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
13. I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked.
14. If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
15. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
16. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.
18. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
19. I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
20. I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
“Potty Humor Hits the Spot: Pooper Scooper One-Liners”
1. I should avoid eating prunes because I don’t want to get into any sticky situations.
2. You know you’re a true poet when your verses start with “Roses are red, violets are blue, I need to poop but I’m in a queue.”
3. You shouldn’t write with a broken pencil, it’s pointless—much like trying to flush when the water’s off.
4. What do you call a farting wizard? A blast from the past!
5. I tried to catch some fog earlier but I mist. Just like that time I tried to catch a turd before it hit the fan.
6. Constipation is a sin because it blocks one’s path to stool enlightenment.
7. If you’re American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom? European!
8. A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks, “Is this stool taken?”
9. You wanna hear a poop joke? Never mind, it stinks.
10. Pooping in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
11. I would tell a constipation joke, but it’s too hard to pass.
12. Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood—or pooping.
13. Having diarrhea is like having a liquid asset; unfortunately, it’s prone to rapid devaluation.
14. That was a crappy joke, but urine for a good time if you log on for more.
15. I thought about going on an all-almond diet, but that’s just nuts – especially when you think of the aftermath in the bathroom.
16. I was going to tell a joke about poop, but it’s really crappy.
17. What’s the true definition of a diplomat? Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip, or the toilet.
18. Some say love is like a river, but anyone with diarrhea knows it can run deeper and faster.
19. Sorry for all the poop jokes. I know they’re a bit much, I should probably just wipe them away.
20. Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word! And, take my advice, don’t use Excel after a chili cook-off.
Dropping Jokes: Q&A with a Comic Movement
1. Why did the poop go to the party?
Because it was invited as a stool pigeon.
2. What kind of car does poop drive?
A bowel-movement.
3. What’s a poop’s favorite TV show?
Game of Thrones, because it has a lot of seats.
4. Why was the poop a good musician?
Because it had perfect pitch and tone.
5. What’s a poop’s favorite game?
Duty Calls.
6. What did one poop say to the other when they broke up?
“It’s time to wipe the slate clean.”
7. Why don’t poops like rainy days?
Because they can’t stop thinking about the potty.
8. What do you call a poop detective?
Sherlock Bowels.
9. Why did the poop start a business?
To get its movement moving.
10. What do you call a smart poop?
An excre-mentor.
11. Why did the poop get promoted?
It excelled at dumping tasks.
12. Why do poops make bad liars?
They can’t cover their stink.
13. What’s a toilet’s favorite movie?
Poop Fiction.
14. Why did the poop refuse to flush?
It had separation anxiety.
15. What do you get when a poop wins an award?
A plaque buildup.
16. What did the constipated poop say?
“I’m in a bit of a log jam here.”
17. Why did the poop want to become a lawyer?
To learn the art of passing the bar.
18. Why are poops bad storytellers?
The tales tend to drag on.
19. What’s a cultured poop’s favorite music?
Bowelero.
20. Why did the gossip spread so quickly in the bathroom?
Because the poop spilled the beans.
Dropping Hilarity Bombs (Double Entendre Poop Puns)
1. I’m pooped, but that’s just how I roll.
2. This situation stinks, but I’ll plunge into it.
3. Our plans just went down the toilet.
4. That’s a craptivating story if I ever heard one.
5. I’ve got a movement meeting to attend.
6. Fecal matter hit the oscillating cooling device.
7. He’s got a loose stool and can’t sit still.
8. I’m ex-stool-sively working on bathroom humor.
9. It’s time to dump the old routine.
10. I bowel before your superior wit.
11. A turd in the hand is worth two in the bush.
12. Poopdeck becomes a whole new word on a luxury cruise.
13. Number two is my number one topic.
14. You can’t handle the feces of this argument.
15. I’m wiped out from all the toilet talk.
16. Sphincter someone who has a way with words.
17. That joke was a bit strained, but I’ll let it pass.
18. Diarrhea of the mouth is a real flow of ideas.
19. I’m on a roll, so don’t paper over the cracks.
20. A flush beats a full house in potty poker.
“Dropping Puns like They’re Hot: The Scoop on Poop Idioms”
1. No matter how much you push your envelope, it’ll still be stationary.
2. I’ve got a few loose stools, but I’m still running the show.
3. It’s no use crying over spilled milk, but it stinks to cry over spilled milkshakes.
4. When the going gets tough, the tough get going… to the bathroom.
5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a burrito a day keeps everyone away.
6. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but flatulence makes everyone go yonder.
7. What goes around, comes around, especially when it’s a stomach bug.
8. Better late than never, but never late is better… unless you’re in the loo.
9. A penny for your thoughts, a nickel for your toots.
10. Every cloud has a silver lining, but every burrito has a risky ending.
11. Laughter is the best medicine, unless you’re trying to hold it in.
12. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you, especially if it’s serving up spicy chili.
13. Don’t count your chickens before they hatch, and don’t trust a fart after a chili batch.
14. Great minds think alike, but all bowels have their own schedule.
15. It’s raining cats and dogs, and my stomach’s brewing up a storm.
16. Out of the frying pan and into the fire, out of the snack bar and into the mire.
17. Patience is a virtue, particularly in a bathroom queue.
18. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but diarrhea strikes fast.
19. The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the toilet paper.
20. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it poop on schedule.
“Stool Samples of Humor: Potty-punning with Juxtapositions”
1. “I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down, much like when you’ve got to go and the toilet’s occupied.”
2. “They say love is patient, but it certainly can’t wait when you’ve had too much fiber.”
3. “I was going to watch the origami championship until it folded, just like my plans when diarrhea hits.”
4. “Time flies like an arrow, but it seems to slow down when you’re waiting for the bathroom.”
5. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away, unless it leads to a ‘crapple’ situation.”
6. “I would tell you a poop joke, but it’s really crappy.”
7. “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you poop, make compost.”
8. “I tried to catch fog yesterday, mist. Today I tried to hold in a fart, risky.”
9. “If you’re American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom? European… or maybe just doing your business.”
10. “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already and gained a few urgent trips to the loo.”
11. “To the mathematician, life is a function. To me, it’s a constant search for the nearest restroom.”
12. “It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end… just like when the toilet’s occupied.”
13. “I’m writing a book on teleportation. I just can’t seem to get the ending right, similar to when you think you’re done but you’re not.”
14. “I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure, except about needing to go to the bathroom.”
15. “I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around. That’s what it’s all about, and so is finding a washroom in time.”
16. “A clear conscience is a soft pillow, but nothing beats the relief of a timely bowel movement.”
17. “You know you’re a true isometric artist when you can draw two points together from any angle, much like when you finally connect to the toilet seat.”
18. “I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are hard to find, kinda like a public restroom when you desperately need one.”
19. “I asked the librarian if the library had books on paranoia. She whispered, ‘They’re right behind you!’ I wish someone warned me about that with bathroom emergencies.”
20. “I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work, kind of like when you’re constipated.”
“Stool’s Roll Call: The Potty Humor Edition”
1. Diarra Rhea – the one who always runs
2. Loo C. Bowels – the restroom critic
3. Farty McFly – the time traveler with a gastro twist
4. Poo-l Newman – the salad dressing enthusiast with a twist
5. Dump-lin Ross – the singer with a surprising onstage antic
6. Stoolie Andrews – the secret informer on bathroom habits
7. Hershey Squirts – the chocolate fan with a questionable condition
8. Crappy Gilmore – the golfer with unfortunate luck
9. Dung Beetle Bailey – the comic strip soldier with a scatological slant
10. Poo N. Scavenger – the one who always knows where to find the facilities
11. Pooper Mario – the plumber who specializes in one type of pipe
12. Dookie Howser – the young doctor with a talent for gastroenterology
13. Seymour Butts – the proctologist with an eye for detail
14. Richard “Dick” Tater – the bossy guy who loves bathroom humor
15. Anita Dump – the lady always in search of a restroom
16. Floaty McTurd – the swimmer with an unfortunate nickname
17. Consti P. Ation – the one who never seems to go with the flow
18. Excreta Franklin – the singer with soul and unexpected bathroom breaks
19. Bowel-yn Johnson – the athlete known for running to the loo
20. Log-an Paul – the vlogger with a penchant for toilet humor
Flush with Laughter: Poop-Themed Tom Swifties
1. “I can handle the smell,” Tom said breathlessly.
2. “This poop joke is the worst,” Tom said crappily.
3. “I need to fix this clog,” said Tom, plungingly.
4. “I just invested in toilet paper stocks,” Tom said flushingly.
5. “This fertilizer is premium quality,” Tom said compostingly.
6. “I’ve perfected my manure spreader design,” said Tom, mechanically.
7. “Diapers again? This is getting repetitive,” Tom said changingly.
8. “I am the king of the outhouses,” Tom said, throningly.
9. “I shall document every bowel movement,” Tom said, loggingly.
10. “I’ve had too many laxatives,” Tom said, runningly.
11. “I can’t unclog this toilet!” Tom said, plungingly.
12. “Let’s conduct a study on animal droppings,” Tom said, researchingly.
13. “I forgot to flush earlier,” Tom said, rememberingly.
14. “I’ve decided to become a proctologist,” Tom said, analytically.
15. “I just saw a poop emoji pillow,” Tom said, cushionedly.
16. “I installed a new toilet lid,” said Tom, coveringly.
17. “We should think more about waste management,” Tom said, philosophically.
18. “Turds can be surprisingly aerodynamic,” Tom said, throwingly.
19. “Constipation is no laughing matter,” Tom said, seriously.
20. “I always use the bathroom before a long trip,” Tom said, preemptively.
“Contradictory Crap Quips (Oxymoronic Poop Puns)”
1. Seriously funny flushes.
2. Act naturally in the stall.
3. Clearly confused about the plunger.
4. Awfully good at clogging.
5. Found missing toilet paper.
6. Openly secretive bathroom breaks.
9. Pretty ugly porta-potty scenes.
10. Seriously joking about the odor.
11. Sweet sorrow of saying goodbye.
12. Awkwardly graceful in a public restroom.
13. Bitterly sweet relief.
14. Deafening silence after the flush.
15. Painfully beautiful restroom graffiti.
16. Clearly obfuscated bathroom signs.
17. Liquid solid waste treatment.
18. Alone together in bathroom stalls.
19. Controlled chaos in the toddler’s bathroom.
20. Surprisingly expected accidents.
Looping the Scoop: An Ongoing Dump of Poop Puns
1. I was going to tell you a poop pun, but it really stinks.
2. These poop puns are a load of crap, but let’s roll with it.
3. Let’s not get bogged down in these puns; they’re starting to pile up.
4. We could try to flush these puns away, but they keep circling back.
5. I don’t mean to dump more on you, but the puns aren’t over yet.
6. This list is becoming quite the movement, wouldn’t you say?
7. Poop puns are classic, so don’t waste any time sharing them.
8. Some might think these puns are ex-stream, but I think they’re spot on.
9. We might need to wipe the slate clean if these puns get too dirty.
10. I’m starting to feel pooped out with all this pun-making.
11. You know, we’re really pushing the envelope—or should I say bowel—here.
12. We’ve got a solid number two list of puns here, don’t you think?
13. Keep going or stop; it’s your doody to decide.
14. Digest these puns well; they’re full of fiber and good for your health.
15. Are these puns getting too corny, or should I plunger ahead?
16. Maybe I should put a lid on it; these puns are overflowing.
17. This list might be my magnum opus, the peak of my dump-sterpiece.
18. Let’s cut the crap. Do you think there’s a pun number two coming?
19. These puns about poop are starting to grow on me… like a fungus.
20. Looks like we’ve reached the end; time to log off this pun journey.
Dropping In with a Pile of Cliché Poop Puns
1. When it comes to poop, every log has its day.
2. Crap doesn’t just happen; it takes dedication and fiber.
3. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it not poop on your favorite trail.
4. All’s well that ends well, but a poop story is a whole other tale.
5. A penny for your turds.
6. Absence makes the fart grow fonder.
7. Actions speak louder than bowel movements.
8. A poop in time saves nine… trips to the bathroom.
9. A rolling stone gathers no moss, but a stationary poop gathers flies.
10. Beauty is in the eye of the poop-holder.
11. Better the devil you know than the diarrhea you don’t.
12. Blood is thicker than water, but not as thick as last night’s chili.
13. Cleanliness is next to godliness, so keep your throne sparkling.
14. Don’t count your chickens before they poop.
15. Don’t put all your poops in one restroom.
16. Every poop cloud has a silver lining.
17. Fortune favors the bold, but not the bowel that’s uncontrolled.
18. Great minds think alike, but great poops stink alone.
19. Haste makes waste, but constipation waits for no one.
20. He who laughs last didn’t get the poop joke first.
We’ve reached the end of our roll here, and what a stinkin’ good time it has been! We hope you found these poop puns as de-lighting and re-poo-sing as we did. Just remember, life’s too short not to indulge in a little potty humor now and then.
If these cheeky jokes have left you flushed with laughter, don’t let the fun end here. Drop by other sections of our website to plunge into an even wider world of giggles and guffaws with all sorts of pun-tastic content. We’re always cooking up fresh batches of humor to keep your spirits high and your groans mighty.
A big thank you for pooping by—sorry, popping by! We treasure the time you’ve spent with us, and we hope it’s been as enjoyable for you as it has been for us. Remember, when life gets crappy, a good pun can be a real plumber—I mean, lifesaver! Keep smiling, and come back soon to keep the good times rolling!
