Get ready to have a good laugh and lighten the mood with some hilarious poo puns! Whether you’re in need of a good chuckle or simply want to brighten someone’s day, this collection of over 200 side-splitting jokes is guaranteed to do the trick. From toilet humor to clever wordplay, these silly puns will have you laughing till your stomach hurts. So, get ready to let loose and indulge in some well-deserved laughter. Get your funny bone tickled with these poo puns that are sure to bring a smile to your face. Without further ado, let’s dive into this collection of chuckle-inducing jokes for a lighter moment!
Punny Poop-jokes Galore! (Editors Pick)
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
2. What did one toilet say to the other toilet? You look flushed!
3. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work his problem out with a pencil!
4. Why are poop jokes not funny? Because they’re too corny!
5. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
6. What do you call a bee that needs to relieve itself? A peebee!
7. What did one poop say to the other poop? You crack me up!
8. How do you catch an invisible poo? With toilet paper!
9. What’s brown and sticky? A stick!
10. What happened to the toilet that had been telling poop jokes? It was flushed with success!
11. How do you organize a poo parade? You line up several bowel movements!
12. What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
13. Why did the burger go to the toilet? It needed to pass-thru!
14. What’s a poop’s favorite type of music? Heavy doody!
15. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
16. How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of
🎉 Limited Edition: Get Your Ultimate Pun Collection NOW!
⏰ Grab it while supplies last ⏰
> Premium Quality: Vibrant full-color pages that bring each pun and joke to life.
> Over 1000 Puns: Carefully crafted collection of family-friendly puns for every occasion.
> Amazing Bonus Content: Tons of classic jokes, creative riddles, and whimsical limericks!
Perfect for a casual laugh or as a gift that keeps on grinning!
* Amazon affiliate link to our original book
Punny Poop Prose (Pun-tastic One-liners)
1. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
2. Never trust a fart while playing cards, or you’ll poop your hand.
3. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
4. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
5. I went to a seafood party last night, and now I feel a bit fishy.
6. Don’t worry about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
7. The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.
8. I’m friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
9. When I asked my French friend if she likes to play video games, she said, “Wii.”
10. A jumper cable walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, “Okay, but don’t start anything.”
11. I used to work as a baker until I couldn’t roll with the puns.
12. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
13. I tried to catch some fog yesterday, but I mist.
14. I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”
15. I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
16. My wife told me I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.
17. I’m friends with all 26 letters of the alphabet. I don’t discriminate.
18. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
19. I took the shell off my racing snail to make it faster, but it just ended up being more sluggish.
20. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
Punny Poop-rait (Question-and-Answer Puns)
1. What is a pirate’s favorite letter? Poo!
2. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
3. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
4. What do you call sad coffee? Depresso.
5. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
6. What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner.
7. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
9. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
10. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!
11. What do you call a fake stone? A sham rock.
12. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
13. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
14. What do you call a fish wearing a crown? King Neptune.
15. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up.
16. Why don’t bicycles fall over? Because they’re two-tired.
17. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? King of the sea.
18. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.
19. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
20. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Flush with Humor: Potty Puns that’ll Crack You Up (Double Entendre Puns)
1. I’m really flushed with excitement to be here!
2. When life gets stinky, just keep rolling with the punges.
3. I’m pooped from all this punning!
4. My love for poo-puns runs deep, it’s in my very excrement!
5. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
6. Poop doesn’t need seasoning, it’s an acquired taste.
7. Getting a promotion is such a relief, feels like a flush of success.
8. I’m just going with the flow, or should I say, the bowl movement?
9. Can’t make up your mind? Just flip a turd.
10. Whether big or small, every job has its own pootential.
11. Sometimes life just hands you lemons, and other times you step in something else entirely.
12. I wouldn’t recommend eating a clock, it’s definitely time consuming.
13. The toilet would like to give you a warm welcome, guaranteed to give you a seat.
14. Why do some people never visit the toilet? They can’t urn it.
15. Don’t ever trust a fart; they are notorious for being backstabbers.
16. Don’t poop where you eat; but if you do, consider it a multi-tasking experience.
17. Remember, it’s better to sit in silence than to make a bathroom noise.
18. There’s nothing like a good bowel movement to lift your spirits.
19. Going to the toilet isn’t just an excuse to sit, it’s a way of life.
20. They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but it sure seems like a load of crap.
Fecal Fun: Potty Puns in Idioms
1. I was so angry, I almost pooped my pants!
2. He knew the answer off the top of his head, it just popped out!
3. She’s always full of crap, never speaks the truth!
4. After eating that, I’ll be following my nose to the nearest bathroom!
5. He’s the top dog in his field, he poops excellence!
6. She’s spinning stories faster than a toilet flushes!
7. He’s always rubbing it in, like a dog rolling in poo!
8. She’s so sly, she could poop gold and call it treasure!
9. He’s got guts like a well-fed hippo!
10. She’s got a dirty mind, always talking toilet humor!
11. He’s got the smelliest farts in town, they linger like bad dreams!
12. She’s got eyes like a hawk, spotting poo stains a mile away!
13. He’s got a soft spot for bathroom humor, always cracking potty jokes!
14. She’s got the worst luck, stepping in dog poop twice in one day!
15. He’s got a bloated ego, it’s weighing him down like a pile of doo-doo!
16. She’s got a knack for finding trouble, like a magnet attracts poop!
17. He’s got his head in the toilet, thinking about his next big idea!
18. She’s got a potty mouth, always speaking in bathroom language!
19. He’s got the bathroom blues, feeling down in the dumps!
20. She’s got eyes like a sewer rat, always looking for a scandal!
Stool Puns: Plunging into Potty Humor (Pun Juxtaposition)
1. I wanted to become a gardener, but the job just stinks.
2. I bought a treadmill, but it was a crappy run.
3. The sewage worker won the lottery, now he’s flush with cash.
4. The plumber married a model, but their relationship went down the drain.
5. The toilet paper tycoon was on a roll until his business went bust.
6. The proctologist moonlights as a comedian, his jokes are really cheeky.
7. I tried to join the feces disposal team, but they said I didn’t have the right attitude.
8. The septic tank cleaner always finds himself in deep sh*t.
9. The manure salesman had a really craptacular day at work.
10. The digestive system guru went bankrupt, turns out his business had some major bowel movement issues.
11. The comedy show about excrement was a real “poo-pular” hit.
12. The zookeeper specialized in elephant dung, he was a true “poo-trician.”
13. The dog waste removal company owners were recognized as pioneers in their “field.”
14. The sewage treatment plant worker got stuck in a messy situation, but it was just a poopslide.
15. The circus performer with a flatulence problem joined “Gaslight” in a daring juggling act.
16. The sanitation workers created a friendly rivalry, calling themselves “Toilet and Paper.”
17. The plumber’s assistant was desperate for a raise, but his request got “swirled down the drain.”
18. The “Stool Shuffle” dance craze became popular with germophobes looking for ways to avoid dirty surfaces.
19. The bathroom attendant had a backstory of being an ex-ninja, where he specialized in “silent but deadly” combat.
20. The sewage vessel captain proudly wore his maritime hat, featuring a label that read: “Poop, there it floats.”
Toilet Humor (Poo Puns)
1. The Crappuccino Cafe
3. The Brown Bean Bistro
4. The Toilet Tea House
6. The Latrine Latte Lounge
7. The Doo-Drop Deli
8. The Potty Patisserie
9. The Excrement Expresso Bar
10. The Poopadoodle Diner
11. The Lavatory Latte Lounge
12. The Number Two Brew Bar
13. The Poopie Pie Parlor
14. The Stool Stew Cafe
15. The Turd Teahouse
16. The Feces Frappe Shop
17. The Crappy Cappuccino Corner
18. The Poop Pudding Parlor
19. The Flush Espresso Emporium
20. The Potty Potpie Palace
A Playful Mess (Poo Puns with a Twist)
1. Boo puns
2. Doo runs
3. Moo buns
4. Poo sons
5. Roo guns
6. Too tons
7. Woo nuns
8. Zoo buns
9. Goo nuns
10. Loo dunce
11. Foo buns
12. Hoo nuns
13. Koo sons
14. Poo bums
15. Voo runs
16. Yoo huns
17. Poo nuns
18. Soo guns
19. Noo sons
20. Qoo runs
Poo-litely Punderful (Tom Swifties)
1. “I can’t believe I stepped in dog poop again,” Tom said, shittily.
2. Is that smell coming from the bathroom?” Tom asked, pooingly.
3. “I’m feeling quite drained after eating that spicy curry,” Tom exclaimed, poopishly.
4. “My vacation plans went down the toilet,” Tom lamented, shittyly.
5. “I just purchased a new bidet,” Tom shared, assiduously.
6. “I need to find a plumber for this clogged toilet,” Tom said, shittily.
7. “My pet pig just made a mess in the living room,” Tom grunted, swinely.
8. “This overflowing septic tank is a real stinker,” Tom said, poociably.
9. “I love collecting antique outhouse memorabilia,” Tom said, historically.
10. “I need to hurry, or I’ll be late for my colonoscopy,” Tom exclaimed, poopreoccupied.
11. I can’t believe I lost my brand new toilet brush,” Tom sighed, grubbishly.
12. “The sewage system in my neighborhood needs some serious improvement,” Tom stated, poopily.
13. “I love gardening,” Tom boasted, poodigmatically.
14. “Why did the man go to the bathroom stall?” asked Tom, pooppositively.
15. “The ghost was responsible for the mysterious toilet clogs,” Tom concluded, spookily.
16. “Why did the dinosaur bring toilet paper to the party?” Tom asked, poodinosaurically.
17. “I always bring my own portable toilet to music festivals,” Tom said, pottyically.
18. “This bathroom remodel is going to drain my bank account,” Tom groaned, poopedly.
19. “I can’t believe I accidentally flushed my keys down the toilet,” Tom said, locksmithly.
20. “Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?” Tom pondered, toily.
Incongruous Excrement Puns (Oxymoronic Poo Puns)
1. Flush with success.
2. Constipated comedian.
3. A crappy joke made me laugh.
4. Smelling like roses in a sewer.
5. Pooping rainbows.
6. Craptonite: the weakness of toilets.
7. Poop for thought.
8. Walking on sunshine, pooping in the rain.
9. Poo-pourri: the art of masking odors.
10. Stool pigeon: a poop detective.
11. The holy crap-ment.
12. A stinky mess that’s clean as a whistle.
13. The turd is out there.
14. Doing the dirty work with a clean conscience.
15. Stinking rich.
16. Poo-litics: a dirty game.
17. Not giving a crap, but taking one.
18. The messy business of being professional.
19. Flushing away your cares and worries.
20. Potty mouth: fluent in bathroom humor.
Poo-pular Punception (Recursive Puns)
1. Why did the toilet paper go to school? Because it wanted to get a roll in education!
2. Why did the toilet go to a party? Because it wanted to have a bowl of a good time!
3. Why did the poop cross the road? To stink up the other side!
4. Why did the toilet paper feel guilty? It thought it was on a roll.
5. Why did the plumber dance at the party? Because he had some sick flow!
6. Why did the poop bring a ladder to the party? It wanted to reach new heights!
7. How does a toilet greet its friends? With a flush of excitement!
8. What did the toilet say to the tissue paper? “You’re tearing me apart!”
9. Why did the toilet paper refuse to apologize? It thought it was too soft.
10. Why did the toilet invite the poop to dinner? It wanted to have a good bowel conversation!
11. Why did the plunger become a motivational speaker? It always pushes people to be the best they can be!
12. What did the toilet say to the tissue paper after a workout? “You really wiped the floor with me!”
13. Why did the poop visit a psychologist? It needed help sorting out its feelings!
14. Why did the toilet hire a lawyer? It was accused of flush play!
15. What do you call a toilet that likes to play pranks? A joker valve!
16. Why did the toilet paper refuse to take a nap? It didn’t want to be crinkly all day!
17. What did the toilet say to the bathroom scales? “Please stop weighing me down!”
18. Why did the plunger start a band? It wanted to unclog its creative potential!
19. Why was the toilet’s math test so difficult? It was full of number twos!
20. How did the poop feel after a good workout? Well, it was really flushed with success!
Poo-uliar Puns on Clichés
1. When life hands you lemons, trade them for toilet paper.
2. Don’t count your chickens before they poop.
3. A penny for your thoughts? How about a poop for your thoughts instead?
4. Don’t put all your sewage in one toilet.
5. It’s all fun and games until someone steps in a pile of doggy doo-doo.
6. Birds of a feather flock together, but birds of a poop always have to stick together.
7. Absence makes the bowel go round.
8. A watched toilet never flushes.
9. All’s fair in love and poo fights.
10. The early bird catches the worm, but the early worm gets squished by a poop.
11. Two wrongs don’t make it a right to poop in the litter box.
12. It’s raining cats and dogs, and one of them forgot their poop bags.
13. When the cat’s away, the mice will have a poop party.
14. It takes one to know one, but it takes two to make a double poop joke.
15. Too many cooks spoil the poop.
16. Blood is thicker than poop stains on the carpet.
17. The grass is always greener… when your neighbor’s dog poops on your lawn.
18. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you… unless they forgot to clean the litter box.
19. A rolling turd gathers no moss.
20. When in doubt, just flush it out.
In need of a good laugh? Look no further than our collection of side-splitting poo puns! We hope these chuckle-inducing jokes brought a smile to your face and brightened your day. If you’re craving more pun-tastic fun, be sure to check out our website for a plethora of other hilarious puns and wordplay. Thank you for visiting, and keep the laughter rolling!